access to child / court etc - 2 questions

mum2one

The situation...

Mum - sole parental responsibility

Dad - refused parental responsibility by the court - given indirect access - basically got fed up and novelty wore off

Daughter - now 13

The court case took about 18mths - for the resolve to be very limited indirect access (no further plans made to review the case) At the time of the court case ending there was no review planned

At the point in time the child was 9 yrs old.

....QUERY 1................
If it went back to court does the 13 yr old opinion get taken into account?

Are the asked to give evidence or would it be back via Cafcass?

Would the fact that the father breeched the order being taken into account.

......QUERY 2......

(background)

When the initial parental request was put in/ as well as request for access, this was the father and his new partner

At the casfass meetings - father and new partner were both interviewed.

(Court hearings it was the father only in the court not the new partner)

Question is....
Would the partner be expected to bide by the court order ?

During the court saga - the father was warned regarding his behaviour (stalking taken place and threats) which he did stop after this warning...

But now the partner has become the mouth piece including threats to the mother of the child, as well as the verbal abuse this has also be sent via social media.

......................
The court order has been produced at the police station - to show that the child is protected from this, - the police view was social media is not specified - therefore they don't think they can do anything? There not sure whether the partner is covered under the court order.

............

pigpen

the opinion of the 13 y/o is pretty much the only thing that will be taken into account.. unless of course he has criminal convictions.

Partners are irrelevant unless they are criminals. It is not their responsibility to abide by a court order unless it is specified or they are named in the order.

FBaby

What was the reasoning behind him getting indirect contact only? The fact he'd been absent until then or concerns over violence/criminal activities etc...?

Does the child actually care for any contact?

PeacefulWaters

The child's thoughts are hugely important.

Rise above any temptation to cloud them.

Guest101

mum2one wrote: »

The situation...

Mum - sole parental responsibility

Dad - refused parental responsibility by the court - given indirect access - basically got fed up and novelty wore off


- Why was PR refused and access granted?

Daughter - now 13

The court case took about 18mths - for the resolve to be very limited indirect access (no further plans made to review the case) At the time of the court case ending there was no review planned


- Could use some more details as to why?

At the point in time the child was 9 yrs old.

....QUERY 1................
If it went back to court does the 13 yr old opinion get taken into account?

- Yes

Are the asked to give evidence or would it be back via Cafcass?
- You don't give evidence in a civil court, you provide a statement and maybe called as a witness.

Would the fact that the father breeched the order being taken into account.
- Possibly, but depends in what regard.
......QUERY 2......

(background)

When the initial parental request was put in/ as well as request for access, this was the father and his new partner

At the casfass meetings - father and new partner were both interviewed.

(Court hearings it was the father only in the court not the new partner)

Question is....
Would the partner be expected to bide by the court order ?
- No.

During the court saga - the father was warned regarding his behaviour (stalking taken place and threats) which he did stop after this warning...
- Then this is irrelevant.

But now the partner has become the mouth piece including threats to the mother of the child, as well as the verbal abuse this has also be sent via social media.
- Report to police. It's not a family court matter.
......................
The court order has been produced at the police station - to show that the child is protected from this, - the police view was social media is not specified - therefore they don't think they can do anything? There not sure whether the partner is covered under the court order.
- Protection from harassment act.
............

What does the court order say?


What kind is it?

mum2one

FBaby wrote: »

What was the reasoning behind him getting indirect contact only? The fact he'd been absent until then or concerns over violence/criminal activities etc...?

Does the child actually care for any contact?

He had never been around for the child, he has never seen her and partly due to his behaviour during the court process x

sheramber

The police cannot do anything unless the partner specifically names you. Has she done?

mum2one

pigpen wrote: »

the opinion of the 13 y/o is pretty much the only thing that will be taken into account.. unless of course he has criminal convictions.

Partners are irrelevant unless they are criminals. It is not their responsibility to abide by a court order unless it is specified or they are named in the order.

Thank you x

FBaby

Why wasn't he around until then? I really have an issue with an absent father who think he has a sudden right to access just because he (rarely 'she') decides that he wants it now (usually to impress new love).

Saying that, there are cases when it's the mother who has made contact impossible, and it took all that time for them the child. In this instance though, I very much doubt he would have not taken the chance to contact her indirectly as he was able to do.

I expect the child wants nothing to do with that person?

mum2one

FBaby wrote: »

Why wasn't he around until then? I really have an issue with an absent father who think he has a sudden right to access just because he (rarely 'she') decides that he wants it now (usually to impress new love).

Saying that, there are cases when it's the mother who has made contact impossible, and it took all that time for them the child. In this instance though, I very much doubt he would have not taken the chance to contact her indirectly as he was able to do.

I expect the child wants nothing to do with that person?

To cut a long story short, he was very ecomoncial with the thruth when we met, basically his wife had left him, but not in the sense of a potential divorce, but she was being held at her majestys pleasure...

SO when she came out of prison - she had found out about the child, but he isn't want my daughter as he wanted his old life back,

When DD was 3 months old he sent a request via the solicitor that he would like access twice a week, with him to collect and drop off, my soliciotor then advised to say no, - as we had no contact details for him, there had been violence, (not prosecuted - too scared of what he would do), been threatening to hospital staff, and he had threatened to abduct her, his has family that live in Ireland,

After that he never bothered, we had the odd facebook threat, I'll get to her, I'll take her etc (all documented by police and solicitors).

Then when DD 8 - this was when we got the court paperwork, inbetween times he had left his wife moved 80 miles up north and in with a woman with 6 kids.... then she was expecting no 7, (his) at this timehe remembered he had a daughter,

My daughter is aware of him as she had letters through cafcass, but to be honest it was all the new partner and her kids, DD did write back to him, asking why he had never bothered with her, why not - he didn't even have the decency to answer her.

She has met the grandparents a couple of times, but no real relationship there, When the grandparents got involved they had contacted my solicitor - DD would have been about 6 or 7 then,

The letter basically said that HE had denied that DD was his, and that only now she id the age she is he will admit he is the father but wants nothing to do with her at al, he has his life and she doesn't fit in.


DD knows a lot that has gone on, as she has been affected by his actions in the aspect of whem he kicks off she has freedom pulled bad, its different now her age, but for younger years, she would have to have an adult watching her when she was out in the street, at friends houses she couldn't go far from the house.

She couldn't have her picture in school newsletters, on school websites etc, - most of her primary school she was classed at being of risk of abduction. WE could only go on his past history

As for the court taking so long, that included him not turning up to 2 court hearings as he couldn't be bothered
Another court hearing he told the court he couldn't attend as his father had a stroke... Rang the mother, we were on best of terms but rang to say take care,.... no the father answered the phone - it was a lie Luckly the parents wrote to the court and my soliciotor saying it was all lies.

mum2one

Guest101 wrote: »

What does the court order say?


What kind is it?

He wasn't granted parental responsibility - based on the grounds that he had never done anything for the child, including to remember to tell the csa he was working, we never received a penny csa money till DD was 10 yrs old,,,,, then it was / is £5 per week, as its stopped from his benefits at source. Even when he was working he gave the csa a merry dance.

He was granted indirect access - with a view to trying to introduce himself into DDs life by the continued contact

The order was

PR - Adjouned indefinitely

Indirect access - letters every 2 mths, in addition letters, card, presents and photos for bday and Xmas.

Addresses to be swopped within 7 days - via solicitors

With the exception of the address swop there to be no contact from him to me

As for DD - To encourage 1 letter of contact after that at her discretion

........
DD did write the letter, - I had no influence in the letter, this was done with a friend of mine who took the Aunty Role from day 1, (I have no siblings - a couple of close friends became adopted Aunty and Uncle to her.

..........
Letter 1 - arrived ( 1 month late from the due date)
DD replied

Birthday / Xmas that yr Nothing....

SO since 2012 - we have had

1 x letter
1 x Christmas card - no gifts
1 x bday card - no gifts

....
DD has had facebook requests from the partner, 2 of her children (ages 10 and 18)
I have had pile of abuse - via fb messages - from partner via her childs account, and from another one of her children,

The abuse from the partner has been reported to the police - a waste of time - as even thou it states

this is xxxxxxxxxxx notice you have blocked my f/b account your a !!!!!, mad cow and a few other choice words...

....
DD is 13, which I have allowed her a f/b account - with a list of to-dos
Blocking - dad, his partner,
I can check the account any time (do at random times)
You have private settings
Block anyone who sends f/b request / message if you don't know them.

....
On my f/b account its all private settings and I have blocked him and the partner - save any potential hassle.

...
We have a very common surname so for them to track us down it means they have had to do a lot of searching...