Any practical advice for depression?

Andrew_Ryan_89

Hey guys,

So it looks like I have collapsed to be honest. For the past 3 weeks I have literally done no work, sat at home, ignored calls and stayed in bed all day. I have tried to switch things up by going out to work in other places and with friends but nothing is making me feel better. My dad has cancer and can't even walk up the stairs anymore, my mums house is in the process of being repossessed and I have a wedding coming up which is causing more problems mentally than it should.

On the surface I am an extremely fortunate person with a beautiful girlfriend, property, good salary and good friends and that is why I am struggling with why I feel like this. I am not moping around but just can't be bothered with anything. I could not care if I could fired tomorrow and ended up losing the house and causing hurt to a bunch of people. All my energy and drive is just gone and I have no idea how to get it back.

A few weeks ago I was feeling good - Going to the gym and feeling excited for the wedding. Suddenly, without reason, just a complete drop, worst than I have EVER. Even worst than when I was getting bullied at school.

Alice_Walker

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Hey guys,

So it looks like I have collapsed to be honest. For the past 3 weeks I have literally done no work, sat at home, ignored calls and stayed in bed all day. I have tried to switch things up by going out to work in other places and with friends but nothing is making me feel better. My dad has cancer and can't even walk up the stairs anymore, my mums house is in the process of being repossessed and I have a wedding coming up which is causing more problems mentally than it should.

On the surface I am an extremely fortunate person with a beautiful girlfriend, property, good salary and good friends and that is why I am struggling with why I feel like this. I am not moping around but just can't be bothered with anything. I could not care if I could fired tomorrow and ended up losing the house and causing hurt to a bunch of people. All my energy and drive is just gone and I have no idea how to get it back.

A few weeks ago I was feeling good - Going to the gym and feeling excited for the wedding. Suddenly, without reason, just a complete drop, worst than I have EVER. Even worst than when I was getting bullied at school.

Where do work think you are, have you been signed off? If so you should not be doing work elsewhere.

Have you been to your doctor, or referred yourself for counselling?

If your girlfriend is pregnant you need to start being proactive in getting yourself back on track.

Concetta_Parsons

Whenever i'm depressed I used to think about others. There are many people in the world who doesn't have even the basic things for living. I'll think how blessed I am. Problems are just a stepping stone to success. There are not even a single person who doesn't have problems. We should learn to be happy and satisfied with what we have. Likewise Just look at your life and compare it with homeless people. You'll understand how blessed you are. You have a home to stay, a good and loving girlfriend, food whenever you are hungry, parents to console and support you etc. But for homeless, they don't have home to stay, they starve from dawn to dusk, many don't have anyone to wipe their tears, and most of them just don't have any hope to live. So you are perfectly alright and blessed. Just love your life. Let go of all your tensions and worries.

suki1964

Your first step should be to the doctors, even if it's to just get a fit note, at least that will give you breathing space

Medication can and does work, however it can take a while to find the right medication and that in itself takes time to kick in

You have a lot going on in your life. It's no wonder you have crashed


Go see your GP and tell him/her exactly what's happening Ring first thing Monday and get an emergency appointment

Once you make that first step, you can look at further treatment options. When I lived in England my HA would pay for 6 counselling sessions. Not a lot but it was a start. I then had to go private but there are many charitable organisations who offer a sliding scale of fees.

Between counselling and medication I became well enough to look at how I coped with life and how I needed to change.

I'm off meds for 12 years now. I do sometimes look into that deep black hole but I never drop into it completely now. I have low moods but never to the classic depressive state now

fairy_lights

Concetta_Parsons wrote: »

Whenever i'm depressed I used to think about others. There are many people in the world who doesn't have even the basic things for living. I'll think how blessed I am. Problems are just a stepping stone to success. There are not even a single person who doesn't have problems. We should learn to be happy and satisfied with what we have. Likewise Just look at your life and compare it with homeless people. You'll understand how blessed you are. You have a home to stay, a good and loving girlfriend, food whenever you are hungry, parents to console and support you etc. But for homeless, they don't have home to stay, they starve from dawn to dusk, many don't have anyone to wipe their tears, and most of them just don't have any hope to live. So you are perfectly alright and blessed. Just love your life. Let go of all your tensions and worries.

Oh my god, just no.
Clearly you've never had depression or been around anyone who has, or you would realise that it's not as simple as 'letting go of your tensions'.
So there are homeless people in the world? That doesn't affect the brain chemistry of a person with depression and telling them to think about people who are worse off isn't helpful.

Pollycat

fairy_lights wrote: »

Oh my god, just no.
Clearly you've never had depression or been around anyone who has, or you would realise that it's not as simple as 'letting go of your tensions'.
So there are homeless people in the world? That doesn't affect the brain chemistry of a person with depression and telling them to think about people who are worse off isn't helpful.

I agree with this ^^^^

I think this link explains it pretty well - the first sentence says "Depression is more than simply feeling unhappy or fed up for a few days."
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Depression/Pages/Introduction.aspx

With respect to Concetta, a person with depression wouldn't feel capable of thinking about other people and their problems.

I hope the OP has sought medical advice by now.

From reading through some of his other threads, there is a lot going on in his life right now.

DD265

I'm sorry that you're going through this OP.

You can ring the Samaritans at any time on 116 123. You do not need to be on the verge of doing anything drastic, they will just hear you out. A friendly voice might just be what you need to get through today.

1) Can you have a shower/bath/wash? Maybe even a shave if that's normal for you. I'm not saying it fixes everything and magically makes me happy but at least I know I'm capable of showering even if I'm not up to anything else.

2) Perhaps change the bed? If you're going to be spending a lot of time in bed fresh bedding will feel so much nicer. It may be getting a bit pong-y after 3 weeks.

3) When did you last eat? Can you make yourself a meal or snack? My favourite thing to eat when I'm feeling crap is a toasted bagel with banana. It's not the healthiest and I'm not sure it would qualify as a proper meal but it's yummy and it means I eat.

By this point you've hopefully achieved 3 things and that's a really good thing.

Tomorrow you could, if you wanted, ring your GP and make an appointment. I was really worried about it but actually my doctor was lovely and really supportive. If it happens that they want to put you on medication, that's OK. It's no big deal; you can come off the pills at any time if you want to. Your GP can also help to put you in touch with therapy services which can come in all kinds of forms and guises.

When you're ready, do you have a friend or family member you'd like to talk to?

I broke down at the dinner table with my parents/sister. I can't even remember what did it, I just had been feeling so unhappy for so long and then something snapped. My family didn't realise just how uncontrollably unhappy I was although they had been trying to cheer me up. I think the next day I made the doctors appointment and took Mum with me and I took it step by step from there.

I've suffered with depression twice now. The first time (2009) I was able to snap out of it when I realised what was at stake. The second time (2013) the depression was more severe and I needed help in the form of medication and EMDR therapy. In January of this year I became aware that I was facing some difficult situations that would put me at risk and because I recognised the signs, I was able to get help (CBT) and we nipped that sh*t in the bud before it took hold. Throughout the process I've learnt tools to help me cope in the future.

I'm not saying depression is easy or that you should be able to flick the switch and make it go away. From what I've seen depression is so common and yet it affects us all so uniquely. The important thing to remember is that it's OK to be unhappy. It's OK to need a time out. And it's OK to wait until you're ready to do something about it.

Good luck OP

Kateatkins1970

Hi Andrew I think depression effects everyone differently, when I hurt my back two years ago, I had to give up work and socialising and just about everything I enjoyed, I became very isolated and low, a friend recommended I try yoga, it has changed my life, not only do I feel so happy with my life, I have improved my health, suppleness and strength, I feel calm and content, like I say everyone feels different and deals with things differently, but I can highly recommend trying yoga. I hope you are managing to move forward on the journey of recovery.

Beansontoast

Hi Andrew. Sorry you are feeling like this. I know about depression too. I call it the darkness. Its no wonder is it...Dad, Mum and social pressure all in first paragraph. When we cant solve or cope as usual I think we go into a standby mode aka depression. So we dont overtax our already fraught minds. Sometimes we can get lightbulb moments in it too. Wont go on but will say stay off the demon sugar, away from alcohol, make yourself get some gentle exercise just 1/2hr per day. Sleep when you can, beware of too much sleep. Eat well even though you may not care to. Take a good vit n mineral supplement, b vits and magnesium are ones to note. Cry, its allowed. Be kind to u.

bilbodreams

Hi, I am putting my children to bed so I apologise for my short answer. Yoga, more specifically try Kundalini yoga, you ll be able to notice the difference in a few weeks. It really works. It ll change your life. Please give it a try.