How long did it take you to settle in?

Andrew_Ryan_89

In your new home, how long did you take for you to feel settled and completely settle in?

Moved into my new property late December 2015 and for the first 2-3 months, I did not feel settled at all. We had no broadband, TV and for the most part we were sleeping on a inflatable mattress and I kept hitting my head on the very low hanging lights in the bedrooms.

A big step was in the middle of March when we got our proper sofa delivered. It meant I could come home from work, slouch on the coach and relax. We also go our bed sorted around then and most of the rooms painted. So 2-3 months for me to feel settled.

However, 6-7 months in and there is still a lot of stuff that I need to complete in the house to feel completely settled in.

• Change the living room light
• Find or build a storage unit for all the media devices (Playstation etc)
• Find new curtains for the living room
• Change the garden shed
• Get electricity in the garden
• Clean the pond and install a pump
• Fix the shower in the bathroom

Once they are all sorted, I think I will feel completely settled.

Fosterdog

It varies for everyone. In my first ever rented place it felt like home before I even moved in, the second place never really felt like home and always felt like a temporary make do house. I was there for four years.

The house I'm in now took a few months to really settle and I'm not 100% on the house we are buying, it shouldn't take too long there but just the thought of the amount of work I want done is off putting.

In your circumstances I would use my next day off to sort the lights, curtains and storage unit, all very quick easy jobs and will make a big difference to you. The pond is also a relatively simple one as is the electricity to the garden. That only leaves you with the shed and shower to sort and depending on costs and your DIY skill level could be two quick jobs or ones that you need to hire somebody for.

ellie27

We moved in exactly 1 year ago today!

We have 2 young children and we both work so dont feel we have time to do much around the house!

However we do feel very settled and we felt this way from early on.

Lounge - painted the walls but nothing else.
Dining room - still old fashioned wall-paper up, but will sort that in next 12 months or so...
Bedrooms - not done anything but they are all neutral so not urgent.
Garden- was like a jungle, now it is like a jungle again as all the stuff we cut back has all been given new life!!

Still have most of the light-fittings that were there when we came in.

Getting new lights/curtains etc all take me ages! I like to look everywhere then am undecided....then I just put it off a while and then before I know it another year goes by!

Just enjoy it, dont feel you need to have it all 'new' and rid of the old.

phoebe1989seb

Firstly I should say that we tend to buy old, unloved houses in need of fairly major work - not as developments, although our last two houses turned out to be shorter term arrangements than intended when we bought them - so not the kind of place you can move into, set up your furniture and get on with life, lol!

Our last house was unmortgageable and had no electric lighting downstairs, no working kitchen, a rudimentary bathroom - with cistern actually on the floor of the bedroom above, operated by a string dangling through the ceiling - and collapsing outbuilding. It was a 200 year old, stone built thatched house that required gutting, but we moved in as it was and did the work over a three year period.

Our first night there was spent on a mattress on the floor with no curtains at the rotten, draughty windows and dinner cooked on the woodburner in the living room. The internal walls were bare grey stone so I couldn't paint them a brighter colour to lift my sagging spirits or even hang a picture or two. It really was quite depressing and the only high note was the lovely third of an acre garden with a stream at the end. TBH, it took me well over a year to truly feel at home there, but unlike DH I never felt the love which made doing the work (mostly ourselves) all the harder.......

We persevered though and after three years had rewired, replumbed, fitted three bathrooms, knocked down the outbuilding, built a huge kitchen extension, laid new hardwood & limestone flooring, replastered, redecorated, landscaped a large terrace and completely exhausted ourselves and our finances!

Current house was a different story. We've been here 18 months this week and although we've barely scratched the surface of restoring the mid 1800s house to its former glory - still have some electrics, move a bathroom, install an en suite, complete the kitchen, rebuild the balcony, finish external painting and remove acres of woodchip (I've started so I'll have to finish - it's even on the underside of cupboard shelves!) before decorating throughout - it felt like home from day one.....or maybe two

cadon

It's never taken me more than a month to settle, and it's only taken that long where I've been new to the area. If it's been a location I've known well, it's taken me one sleep in my new bed for it to feel like home.

Mind you, I'm the sort of person who likes magnolia walls, so rental properties and done up to sell properties suit my tastes really well. I think that probably helps!

anotheruser

It's very subjective.

A lot of what you have on your list I wouldn't say is "settling in" - it's just on-going development.

Fair enough if you don't have a sofa or proper bed, but then I'd ask what happened to the one you had before?

We have all our stuff ready to go in the new house so there won't be any "settling in" to do. Of course there will be things we have to do or change but that will happen over a few years rather than months.

I also don't consider getting Sky or Virgin Media as a necessity, like many people do these days.

Davesnave

In my experience, settling-in usually has very little to do with the house or its garden, and everything to do with what's going on beyond that.

Even with a holiday home, I've felt pretty much settled-in on the first day, provided it's as advertised. It's the same with an owned house, as the potential is there, so it doesn't really matter about anything 'wrong,' other than leaking pipes, blocked drains and similar crises.

Surely, nobody buys a house expecting everything to fall immediately to hand? Yes, stuff is may be inconvenient, or just plain wrong, but it gets fixed

The real problem with new-to-you property is always going to be the neighbours and the local environment, whether it's the chap next door who comes round to announce, "You can't park there..." or the lorries from the quarry waking you up on the first morning at 5 a.m. (Where were they when you viewed? Miles away!)

Beyond that, there are a multitude of little things, like actress daughter being mortified because there's no drama club at the new school, or you see there's no Aldi within a ten mile radius. The 'wrong' people are also on local radio and TV.

However, all that pales into relative insignificance if you are Billy No Mates. Moving a long way puts that prospect centre stage.

Therefore, its often the befriending of what I'd call an 'enabling person' which makes the crucial difference between feeling at home or just living somewhere. He, or more often she, puts you in the picture regarding the local community and fills you in whenever a discontinuity between it and you arises. Soon, you know almost as much as the locals.

Enabling friends are what really count.

missbiggles1

If the person you love is there with you, I'd feel at home immediately. In fact, I actually prefer "camping out" in an unfinished house to living somewhere finished where things can only go downhill.

Callie22

We moved into our house about eighteen months ago and I'd say we're only just starting to feel 'settled'. A big part of that was that unfortunately, shortly after we moved in, we realised that we had moved into the middle of something of a neighbour dispute - we bought the house from the family of an elderly man who had moved into a home due to Alzheimer's and there was a lot we weren't able to find out about the house, but it turned out that he'd 'fallen out' with a neighbour over a boundary. That's 'resolved' but it took us over a year and it really took the shine off our new home. Also, coming from rented accommodation it took us a long time to accept that we could do what we liked to the house without fear! We're getting there slowly but it's been a long job.

moneyistooshorttomention

Two aspects to it indeed.

As someone who moved some distance away (and I know Davesnave has - if in somewhat more "circular" fashion...) then...yes....neighbours and neighbourhood do have a big impact on how you feel. I tend to agree with the "enabling person" concept - but that is a "matter of luck". The person who could have been "enabling person" to me was clearly only going to be that if I'd gone along with their idea of "Its my way or the highway". That would not have been at all fair - so I didnt - and they werent (more like badmouthing me to any credulous person that doesnt form their own judgements <shrugs>). Who wants to know people that arent independent-minded enough to form their own judgements anyway?

The "enabling person" bit has worked here for me in the sense of "all newcomers together" helping each other out in new environment. So there is one friend in particular where we have done a lot of "get to know things together/compare notes/etc".

Also I'd worked out what local groups etc were "mine" and I would check them out/probably get involved with them before moving here. Sure enough - I'm most active in the groups I thought I would be.

If the area doesnt have the facilities you are used to - it helps if you can spare the time to find what it DOES have as soon as you can. So - any time you think "All my shops. All my activities....etc etc....waaaaah!" you can tell yourself the reverse side of that equation "Lots more countryside though - and many fewer people walking around in it/fewer cars on the road/safer part of the country".

***********

The other aspect is the house itself. That applies to anyone moving anywhere imo. To me that boils down to "How well does the house work?". If it won't give you suitable internet coverage, the heating doesnt work, the hot water doesnt work, there's not enough storage space, the lights have blown, the roof is leaking (yep....that's really fun when you've got all that once - not:cool:) then there is no way you are going to feel "at home" there until it's all been fixed and the house actually works. The "taste" the house has been got together in also matters imo. If you're a "visual" person (as I am) then the house being old-fashioned style and your own style being contemporary is "culture clash" and needs remedying - by making the house as much "your style" (in this case contemporary) as you can.

ripplyuk

In a sense, I felt settled immediately. Mainly because almost anywhere would have felt homely compared to what I lived in beforehand (house flooding, landlord then removed roof entirely in a temper, numerous other issues). So it was like a dream to get this house. But it really felt more like home when I got a sofa. It was luxury after sitting on the floor for so long.

There's always lots of jobs that need done and things you need when you move, and once the bulk of those get sorted out, I think that's when it feels like it's yours. It's also getting used to the noises a new place makes, with the heating system etc. I kept waking up due to it sounding different!

I'd say a year in total, if you like the place and the area. If not, it may never feel like home.