The Ultimate Incentive muddles along

Littlebirdie

Hey, I just want to say I think you are doing brilliantly - your ploughing through despite the challenges. Keep going!

Dinah93

Thanks tootallulah and littlebirdie (is it weird my first thought on seeing your username was- Zach's grown up fast - already on MSE forums?!).

I would imagine it's the best quarter for new stuff on ebay in the run up to Christmas, not sure old stuff will go as well? I really want to de-clutter and de-debt all at once - BUT I've got this great track record of throwing myself in 10 different directions and then burning out entirely and spending the next week curled up around the laptop comfort shopping and eating ice cream. So I'm trying to be very logical. First steps - making a list of exactly what we owe while practically I need to finish painting Ben's room so he can move in. Then finish painting Grace's room once NIM is finished building it. Because at the moment everything is chaos, and getting them into their new rooms will mean their old room can become our study and as soon as I need to find something it will be right there, rather than hidden away in the attic.

A bit of time to achieve tomorrow but quite a bit of life admin to get out of the way, although saying that most of it is relating to getting more footfall into my classes so I suppose that's a very direct income earner.
Address invitations
Do kids yoga posters
Harry Potter Lesson Plan
Do freebie session poster
Do tickets for rowing club event

tootallulah

Lists are good! All sorts sells in the run up to Christmas but getting sorted will make you fell more in control so I agree do that and then set some selling goals.

I am listing 5 items a day BIN or best offer and making between £110 to £150 per week for two hours work a day. It adds up fast and people will buy anything. I sell books on Amazon but that is slow. I am decluttering the excess contents from my second home which I sold. I use the EBay app which is a huge timesaver. I do a lot of listing on the train to work.

Cinny91

You're back!! :j

First of all, so I don't forget, its profit accumulator I used!

It's always so great to see you come back ready to tackle your money situation, and I'm totally ready to cheer you on because the fight against parental sleep exhaustion is real and you need buckets of energy to take this on!

I will say that, especially now I'm a mum, I genuinely think free or cheap days out are the best. I've joined a mum's group where they meet for walks, or plan days out using discounts to make it cheaper which takes the brain work out for me!

Also a thing to consider, and maybe something that will keep you on the path, is that the way you are with money will massively impact how Grace and Ben are with it when they're older. Tootallulah mentioned Dave Ramsey and I think that would a perfect system for you, he also does something called "smart money, smart kids" which is something Rich and I talk about doing with Oscar fairly often but Grace is the perfect age to start that with. Sure you can get the book for free on an audible trial

Hope you're all having a nice weekend! We're off pumpkin picking in a few hours, I'm going to be so well rested and energised for it.. It's going to be great.

Dinah93

Maybe I need to run every purchase past you guys, get an aye or nay until I learn self control?!

Sleep exhaustion is used as a form of torture for a reason! Grace woke me at 2 yesterday FOR THE DAY - I could have sobbed. I think I possibly did when NIM got up at 6am when she sat on Ben and he screamed, waking up the whole postcode, and he said he'd get up with them so I could get some rest.

I think I'm screwed on the free days with friends, I seem to have a lot of very 'comfortable ' friends and every time we go out it's £20 for entrance at a minimum, or £40 for food if we go for a girls night - last time I literally had a starter and a side salad (£12) but my 1/3 of a bottle of wine still was nearly another £10. None of them are flash or pretentious, but as far as I know only me and one other really have to think about budgeting for trips like that.

Okay, I've heard Dave Ramsey mentioned enough to give it a go. Is it Total Money Makeover you'd recommend rather than Complete Money Guide? Just been on the library's online catalogue (never done this before - be proud - usually hitting Amazon is automatic) but my council don't have any of the books in their catalogue so Amazon it is. Will go second hand if it's cheaper though.

I have another confession, don't shoot me. We already have holidays booked for next year. Two of them. And 2 festivals (Yoga Connects/Deer Shed) Both booked through airbnb/easyjet so no refunds are possible. Both less than £50 a night accommodation but that's not really the point. I think this was part of my trigger of realizing the problem, I booked one of them on a complete impulsive whim after a hard conversation with a friend who was asking about Grace's ACD diagnosis, not being able to say with any conviction that 'it's been overturned' instead just saying 'we're assuming it was a flawed biopsy somehow as she shows no symptoms' makes my brain meltdown into what ifs. There have recently been a couple of older children getting lung transplants - one was 3 I think and the other 5 months, and while it's great news for the families, whenever I read something like this I feel like we'll never be out of the woods, always waiting for it to strike at a previously unheard of late age.

Kids party yesterday (bit of a shambles, one child in A & E needing stiches, Ben ended up with a freaking blue slushie on his head as he fell off his chair and walloped it but they had no ice except in the slushie machine....) then they went for a walk with nana and grandad while NIM and I cracked on with Grace's bed, only 2 sheets of mdf left to buy to finish it, and some drawer runners, so sub £40. And probably some more paint, oh heck and a pole for her wardrobe. And a mattress, but at least it's a standard single so shouldn't be overly expensive. What we did was get a rather ratty second hand set of bunk beds, and we're basically cladding it in mdf to look like a castle, and building a set of steps with drawers in them to replace the ladder as with Ben on the loose a set of steps seems much safer (and bonus storage).

I did make a useful contact at the party though, another BW yoga teacher, also a trainee, about to start teaching, but that's really really useful if I need cover for sickness/holidays etc, it's good to know lots of teachers you can call in a bind. She seemed absolutely lovely, and we're going to take our youngest to Forest school messy play one week as they're both the same age.

Today, NIM cracking on with the bed this morning while I entertain the bambinos. Grace and I went to junior parkrun last week, which was fun, but I'm majorly suffering with my knee again (those of you who have followed since the dark ages remember my 8 months off work, surgery, lots of physio that didn't get me where it should, first day off crutches being my wedding day etc... well it looks like I might be going down that road again, which is a complete headache when you rely on your body for your job.

Free gymnastics class this afternoon (usually £2.80 on a Monday, but she needed some warm bodies for assessing a new teacher) so NIM is taking the kids to that, then going for a playdate with one of her friends, so I'll be using that time to crack on with my list (as tempting as my book is - never normally take time out during the day but went to bed at 11 last night which is early for me, couldn't sleep at all, ended up reading until 2.30 and now I feel completely drawn into my book world and I'm only halfway through).

Pumpkin picking sounds brilliant, we've got a pumpkin patch nearly an hour away (where we went for the fairy festival) but hoping to get a nice half day in half term and I can take the kids up, pick a pumpkin, then stop in at NIMs work on the way back as Grace hasn't seen his new office yet (and it's 200m from the beach so can have a chilly autumn run if it's dry, maybe even a lemon top (which I guess wildly identifies which bit of the north we live in for anyone who doesn't already know! Never mind, this isn't mumsnet))

Starting a yoga playgroup soon, which looks like it might be quite popular, so I'm going to see if anyone on my local freebie site has some toys, foam mats etc to save buying as much as possible. I do need to buy some more mats though as I only have kids ones and need some adult ones.

So glad to have you back to chat with, don't think I realised how much I'd missed you all x

FacelessNumber

Good to see you back posting again! You can definitely do this, baby steps is probably the way forward!

Tete_en_l'Air

Hello, nice to see you back petal! Have you ever had/thought about therapy to deal with your handling of Grace's diagnoses/uncertainties? Might help to process them in a way that won't have you reaching for the credit card.

Bed sounds ace, wish I were as handy! I've been trying to hang my own blinds and even got a handle on the drill, but couldn't drill deep enough holes for the rawl plugs because it's a window lintel and therefore made of kryptonite or something - halp!

Cinny what you say about parental attitudes to money is interesting because my parents were very very careful with money and never had any debt apart from the mortgage, yet I'm a total flibbertigibbet!

I just got back from hols yesterday. In the days before I went I was rushing cramming in an interview and a date, everything seemed to be moving in a promising direction. Date was a dud and I got home yesterday to job rejection, London marathon rejection, and a flat tyre However I am feeling raring to get organised - with money, with decorating, with decluttering, with health, and with trying to sort my life out in general. So will keep posting here if you do

Has anyone tried bullet journalling to keep on track with to do lists?

(Sorry for any typos, my gel nails have grown so long I can barely function!)

Cinny91

I'd recommend the total money make over one, if you download his app he does daily radio shows that get condensed into 3 hour podcasts. It's free and you get the gist of it. Plus when people are finally debt free they call up to yell about it, it's a bit cheesy and totally American, but it's very motivating! There's a lot of material to read on the website too

Almost choked on thin air when I read some places are £20 to just get through the door but I still think of Grace and Ben being teeny tiny little tots, but they'll need their own ticket! Poor Oscar is going to have such a boring life after 2 when I decide I'm too cheap to go places :cool:

What Tete said about therapy sounds like it might be a good idea if you'd feel comfortable doing that kind of thing? You might also find some other underlying issues that you didn't realise. But just, like with everything, it's the cost!

Your holiday looked amazing, Tete! Oscar was so excited when I showed him a photo he tried to eat my phone. Sounds like a run of bad luck, but you sound so positive. Which is obviously fantastic.

Well, I'm back at work!! First thing I did was log onto MSE :A I have sandwiches, hot drinks that I can drink from whenever I like. Very novel. Will be posting as much as I can! We're on the final stretch to our house deposit goal, but with Christmas on the way I want to stay focused and not crack into our savings to fund my stollen habit.

clearmydebts

Absolutely delighted to see you back Dinah. I worry about you when you disappear!

Tete might be on to something there with counselling? It could really help. Also when OH went through a bout of depression (due to work) a couple of years ago he went to counselling and found it really helpful.

Not sure if we have less debt than you anymore. I am changing the sig over to euro as it's all euro now and we've put it up a bit as well due to extortionate motor insurance, motor tax and bin charges. So we'll probably be at a similar figure.

We also have 2 holidays booked for next year even though we shouldn't. One to Disneyland Paris as my brother is over visiting from Oz so we are all going and then my BIL is getting married in Spain in Oct 2017. But - we were contemplating a 3rd holiday. Just because! After reading your comeback thread I've shelved that as we need to just get rid of the debt and stop justifying the holidays. So thanks for that xx

Hi to everyone else

Tete_en_l'Air

Back at work already Cinny!! Enjoy those hot cuppas. Oh to have a job where you can check MSE and social media whenever you like, it's been many years since I could

CMD it must feel great to have all your debt in one currency now? Must have been annoying to still have some in £. Whereabouts is your brother getting married? Didn't you get married in Spain? I know I've only just had a holiday but I'm thinking about next year now too. My girls and I are talking about a 35th holiday to Budapest. Our 30th trip to NYC seems like yesterday still!! I'm also very tempted by a yoga retreat to Turkey on my own.

Jet lag still kicking me up the bum, didn't wake up til 12.30 today. My mind is willing to get started and get organised, but the body is just oh so confused.