Had my ESA assessment today

dekaspace

Want to discuss it a little.

I did get a advocate to help me who told me I did well but who knows, and the asssessor told me she was a doctor (I should of asked her what of to be honest)

I did have some problems last week getting proof from my current surgery (ended up empty handed) about my mental health history and autism as I moved since I was last assessed (old doctor was fantastic new one never prescribes anything for stress, insomnia or whatever) but did find out they had a doctors letter but I was never told what was in it apart from my operation last year on my back for a benign mole.

Took just under a hour and at one point I had a quick eye test done, and stood up and asked for things like to follow her finger or squeeze her fingers which I never had last time.

Not sure if thats because I mentioned (mostly due to my autism) I have never been able to carry things without dropping them and I was never able to climb trees as a kid or even use swings (though forgot to mention about the swings) as I couldnt grip in fact now I think about it I remember splitting my head open as a child as I was pushed on a swing as I couldnt hold on oh well its too late now.

I mentioned that when I get over stressed (hope this is not offensive to anyone) I act like the people you see on the stroke adverts, my face sinks and I slur my speech and get really confused.

I was asked about if I thought about self harm and whilst I said no I said especially in the past (context being I have "cried" myself out in recent years so am more emotionless or mopey than having mood swings) I had quite a few points where I was so miserable I felt like whats the point of living.

I mentioned that in past 10 years I have (yearly) started college courses and dropped out within first 2-4 weeks if not the first week as I get over anxious part as all the 18 year olds there, part due to being out of long term education so long, the 7am starts making me feel weak and not getting home to around 7pm at night so no time to clear my head or relax.

Better stop there before I write forever just wanting to show my experience and get a little feedback, a little panicky that I will check the letterbox every day and might be 2 months before I hear to be turned down.

Ponsienella

Hi dekaspace,

If your Advocate said you did well then just try your best to believe them.

As your new doctor will have your old medical records too, then hopefully the doctor's letter they had will state what is in your historical records relating to your mental health.

I'm not an expert in any field but have come into contact with mental ill health in the past few years as a result of both family and friends having these health issues and I've been on a couple of courses about mental health.
I just didn't want to read your post and not respond.

Try and put it behind you now (I know its easier said than done) and believe what your advocate said. Panicking and worrying may only make your health worse. Whenever you find yourself thinking about it, try to replace that thought with a nice thought about something else. We can only have one thought at a time.
Try to think (and believe) that you will be place in the support group as positive thoughts are creative.

I wish you the very best.