Ex Debt house help please

Tam275

Looking for some advice please, I'll try and keep this long story short.
Lived with ex for 10 years married for another 10, 3 children together. I'm now with a new partner and have another child. Our whole life together was him getting us into debt by renovating out two homes that didn't really need doing, spending on his business account and not being very good looking after money. I worked until we married and we had our children. When I decided enough was enough we had had a house fire and were in temp accommodation, he went and stayed at him mums and I stayed in temp accommodation for 8 months with our 3 children moving every 2 weeks as they were holiday lets, he was finalising the electrics in the house following it being put back together by insurance companies. The temp accommodation was coming to and end and I said I wanted to move back into the house, he dragged his heels and then changed the locks and said he was moving in. I then had to find deposits and rental accommodation for myself and the boys. Fast forward 5 years, I'm still paying for the divorce which cost £2500 he's in £4K arrears on the mortgage and the debts which apparently were £60k are being paid by him through a debt management. I finalised the divorce and was going to let him get on with it with regards to the house. Until he then tried to add the £4K to the mortgage (interest only £350 pm) , I'm physically and emotionally drained by it all having anxiety and panic attacks everytime I have to thinks about this situation, I feel bad I left him with it. I've now decided I need to go to court to sort it out. We've spent the last 5 years going around in circles with him saying he wants to try again for planning for a house in the garden to pay off the debts. He's had numerous chances but never does it. He is now satin he wants to move in with his gf and rent the house to raise money to apply for planning (again). I don't know what to do for the best I fell in between a rock and a hard place. Do I force him to sell to pay off debts (a court order would have to ensure this as I don't think he would do it) or do I force that I live in the property? Although he's threatening he'll go bankrupt if he can't get planning, so I may potentially make myself homeless if they force sale of the house??? Any advice would be greatest appreciated 😔

MortgageMamma

Wow that's a horrid situation. Have you sought legal advice? why wasn't a financial settlement agreed at the time of divorce?


The questions you need to answer/think of now are.


1. Whats the house worth?
2. What is the total outstanding debt on mortgage?
3. Is your name on the mortgage/deeds?
4. Do you have full custody of the children?
5. Where will you get advice as to your rights re financial settlement and how will you pay for it if its not free (last I heard legal aid for divorce settlements had gone but you best check that)
6. How much money do you want?
7. Would you be prepared to bankrupt him to get what you want (it could come to that).


Hope that helps


MM

Guest101

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Wow that's a horrid situation. Have you sought legal advice? why wasn't a financial settlement agreed at the time of divorce?


The questions you need to answer/think of now are.


1. Whats the house worth?
2. What is the total outstanding debt on mortgage?
3. Is your name on the mortgage/deeds?
4. Do you have full custody of the children? - Not sure how that's relevant?
5. Where will you get advice as to your rights re financial settlement and how will you pay for it if its not free (last I heard legal aid for divorce settlements had gone but you best check that) - Definitely gone.
6. How much money do you want?
7. Would you be prepared to bankrupt him to get what you want (it could come to that). - Not sure how, as the divorce would have to be fair on both parties.


Hope that helps


MM

Worth pointing out - OP you cannot get a court order that he must clear his debts.

Guest101

Tam275 wrote: »

Looking for some advice please, I'll try and keep this long story short.
Lived with ex for 10 years married for another 10, 3 children together. I'm now with a new partner and have another child. Our whole life together was him getting us into debt by renovating out two homes that didn't really need doing, spending on his business account and not being very good looking after money. I worked until we married and we had our children. When I decided enough was enough we had had a house fire and were in temp accommodation, he went and stayed at him mums and I stayed in temp accommodation for 8 months with our 3 children moving every 2 weeks as they were holiday lets, he was finalising the electrics in the house following it being put back together by insurance companies. The temp accommodation was coming to and end and I said I wanted to move back into the house, he dragged his heels and then changed the locks and said he was moving in. I then had to find deposits and rental accommodation for myself and the boys. Fast forward 5 years, I'm still paying for the divorce which cost £2500 he's in £4K arrears on the mortgage and the debts which apparently were £60k are being paid by him through a debt management. I finalised the divorce and was going to let him get on with it with regards to the house. Until he then tried to add the £4K to the mortgage (interest only £350 pm) , I'm physically and emotionally drained by it all having anxiety and panic attacks everytime I have to thinks about this situation, I feel bad I left him with it. I've now decided I need to go to court to sort it out. We've spent the last 5 years going around in circles with him saying he wants to try again for planning for a house in the garden to pay off the debts. He's had numerous chances but never does it. He is now satin he wants to move in with his gf and rent the house to raise money to apply for planning (again). I don't know what to do for the best I fell in between a rock and a hard place. Do I force him to sell to pay off debts (a court order would have to ensure this as I don't think he would do it) or do I force that I live in the property? Although he's threatening he'll go bankrupt if he can't get planning, so I may potentially make myself homeless if they force sale of the house??? Any advice would be greatest appreciated 😔

You Cannot force him out, as you do not live there any longer. So, barring exceptional circumstances, you wont be replacing him in the house.


Nor can you get an order that he must pay debts. Secured debts are paid by solicitor at time of completion. Personal debts you do not control.


Divorce is not about punishing and whatever the settlement, it will be fair to both parties.

Tam275

So house is worth about 220k mortgage is 169k plus his 4K arrears
I think sell house pay debts start again? I would have to get a court order as he wont agree
So I can't get the court to let me move in as I have the children? There is no court order for custody
I didn't sort financial as it had already cost me £2500 on solicitors to get divorce (which I'm still paying for) and I had had enough over last 5 years

Tam275

He's moving in with gf to rent house to raise money for planning without mortgage company permission what would happen

Tam275

I've already had the absolute
Do I push for sale? I've just had mediation today and they said they will say mediation will not help in this case and only way is court, do I just let him rent it out and try for planning again
If he goes bankrupt they will come to me for joint debts and the house will be sold for bare minimum and not pay off any other debt x

Guest101

Tam275 wrote: »

So house is worth about 220k mortgage is 169k plus his 4K arrears
I think sell house pay debts start again? I would have to get a court order as he wont agree
So I can't get the court to let me move in as I have the children? There is no court order for custody
I didn't sort financial as it had already cost me £2500 on solicitors to get divorce (which I'm still paying for) and I had had enough over last 5 years

There will never be a court order for custody, because such a thing does not exist. You can apply for a child arrangement order, which sets out when the children spend time with each of you (amongst other things) but you have equal rights to the children in all respects. Custody is an Americanism.


There is no reason for the court to order him out and you in. You are not homeless, and even if you were, the children would simply be able to move in with him. Possession is 9/10s of the law.


You can get a court order for sale (in the region of 3-5,000 is not uncommon), but as I said, only the debts secured on the property would be automatically paid off

Guest101

Tam275 wrote: »

He's moving in with gf to rent house to raise money for planning without mortgage company permission what would happen

Well in that case the tenants would have rights to live there.


(you would be entitled to half the income)