Adopting a cat

rita-rabbit

Yes. I'm thinking a cat is not for u. It would b terrible to get a cat/kitten & then return it due to it being too much hassle for your requirements. Sorry

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Fur - if you wear mostly white clothes, the cat will appear to shed solely dark hairs. If you wear mostly black clothes, even a black cat will manage to shed white/grey/red ones. You can spend an hour grooming it carefully for it to walk away and, as you attempt to remove the hairs now welded to your clothes, hands, face and up your nose, it will casually scratch itself and eject a nice furry tumbleweed which floats onto the clean washing or your most expensive coat.

Scratching - it might like scratching. Most do - not necessarily the leather sofa; one of mine adores the rug, the other is passionate about shredding the lid of the wicker washing basket and the wooden tableleg nearest as he wanders by. Both also use the handbuilt scratching post. The disadvantage of scratching the basket lid is that everything inside gets covered in tiny splinters of wicker; the advantage is that sometimes he causes the lid to shift, it then flips and he is dumped in the bottom of the basket with a thud.

One loves rubbing her face on every corner - this means there are little cat oily smears at her face level.

One happily uses a secluded patch of the garden to do his business, the other is far too important to do that and comes in after three hours outside to leave the stench of evil in the littertray, then goes back out again for another three hours. She never normally smells, but if it's near dinnertime, you're not feeling 100% or you have a visitor, her insides instantly go to hell in a handcart.

Doors/catflaps. If you have a door, the cat will always be on the wrong side of it. If you have a catflap, there's a good chance that they will find it the work of the Devil and insist on going through the door. Or clambering up onto the draining board to go out through the kitchen window, sending crockery flying. And then decide they want to come in through the door. When they don't drag you up to let them out, only to sit in the doorway and glare at the world for not being interesting, only to dash out just as you close it. And then refuse to come in when you want them to, only to demand immediate entry the moment you've sat back down.

Illegal Alien Species. Mog is likely to wish to provide you with gifts to show appreciation. Expect half mice, an accidental hamster, a three legged spider, slightly chewed moths and the occasional sock. They are generally placed where they feel the gift would be most appreciated; shoes, just where you put your bare feet coming downstairs first thing in the morning, just inside the bathroom or on the doorstep for you to find just as you're in a hurry to leave in the morning. As an added bonus, sometimes they'll bring an extra special offering of something that is still alive and very unhappy about its new situation as a love token. You'll then have to rescue said offering in the fact of a rather unhappy cat and the offering being even less pleased about it. Whilst surrounded by stampeding children, wailing for the poor little mousie (rat).

Additional gifts involve fur balls, usually yakked up after they've sprinted away from you and you can extricate them from under the sofa. A freshly vacuumed carpet is the preferred option.

They will provide an essential guard service - as soon as anything that flies, scuttles or scurries enters the grounds, they will announce it by hurling themselves in its general direction. Ensure nothing breakable in in their flightpath.

If you want them to sleep on your bed, they will probably decide that this isn't good enough for them and they prefer to sleep as far away from you as possible until about 3.30am, when they start running the Wall of Death up and down the stairs. They might want to check in on you by howling until you swear at them, when they will go back to sleep until 45 minutes before your alarm is due to go off and then bounce on your chest and face to get up and give them their breakfast.

If you don't want them in the bedrooms, they will probably be bereft without you and howl, wail, moan, rattle doorhandles, headbutt the door and claw at the carpet to be let him. Once they are let in, give it about 25 minutes and they'll repeat this to be let out again. Or they'll be so happy that they have to stand on your ribs and claw you whilst dribbling into your face.

If you're about to get up and do something, the cat will decide to cuddle up, purr and look impossibly cute, so you can't bring yourself to move. But if you want them to cuddle you, ewww! Not on your life when I've got a window to look through or a bum to clean.

Oh, and you will get used to seeing a lot of that bum. It's friendly to show it to you - you might understand a bit of cat rather than cat-human language (miaows and chirrups) and get the idea that they're inviting you to sniff it. There's a good chance that they will fart at that very point, especially when your posh friend is visiting.


Laptops are for cats, not for humans. This also applies to books, magazines, colouring books, painting and anything else of yours - this includes the seat you are currently on. Or your food; it's instantly better because it's yours. In a similar vein, they will love, adore and crave the very expensive and the cheapest cat food for just long enough for you to buy a month's supply of it. Then they will hate it because you are obviously trying to poison them. And complain that you are now starving them. If more than one person feeds them, they will claim that they have never been fed before in their lives and they're wasting away a whole thirty minutes after the other person put their food down. Or they'll wander off and get fed by the little old lady three doors down who talks to your neighbours about how cruel the owners of this poor, dear little thing that visits, because it's always so hungry.


Other than that, they're smart, stupid, funny, frustrating, warm, cuddly, aloof, ridiculous and pets that will alternately drive you crazy and make you shake your head and smile.

They will decide to eat plastic, swallow sewing thread or steal the string from a joint of meat at 3.30pm on a Sunday before a Bank Holiday, necessitating an emergency vet. You'll then find the offending stuff cunningly concealed behind a door two days after the credit card bill comes in for the overnight stay and tests at what appears to be somewhere that offers Ritz accommodation for animals, if the fees are anything to go by. They'll also tuck into the cheapest food there, whilst the vet will recommend that poor Tiddles is obviously lacking a vital nutrient present in string and did you know that, purely coincidentally, it's only found in the very expensive food they happen to sell at the vets. Once you get it home, the cat will possibly eat it for 48 hours and then decide it is poison.

And then, once you spend over ten years swearing, tripping over and never being quite certain if the house smells catty when friends visit, despite cleaning religiously, the sod will get doddery, sick and you'll do everything you can to get them better, posh food, syringe feeding, weeks at the vet, weekly visits at half your mortgage payments. After all that and a mini recovery to let you breathe a sigh of relief, the rotten so and so will be ready to expire and you cuddle and stroke it, still purring as the vet depresses the syringe and, whilst tears stream down your face, they slip away gently and peacefully. You'll go back to a house that is too quiet, too clean and missing every last bit of annoyance, irritation, frustration and stomach achingly funny contrariness you've moaned about for the last decade or so.



I'd wholeheartedly recommend getting a cat. But only if you can see through the truth to what's underneath.

tealady

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Doors/catflaps. If you have a door, the cat will always be on the wrong side of it. If you have a catflap, there's a good chance that they will find it the work of the Devil and insist on going through the door. Or clambering up onto the draining board to go out through the kitchen window, sending crockery flying. And then decide they want to come in through the door. When they don't drag you up to let them out, only to sit in the doorway and glare at the world for not being interesting, only to dash out just as you close it. And then refuse to come in when you want them to, only to demand immediate entry the moment you've sat back down.

Illegal Alien Species. Mog is likely to wish to provide you with gifts to show appreciation. Expect half mice, an accidental hamster, a three legged spider, slightly chewed moths and the occasional sock. They are generally placed where they feel the gift would be most appreciated; shoes, just where you put your bare feet coming downstairs first thing in the morning, just inside the bathroom or on the doorstep for you to find just as you're in a hurry to leave in the morning. As an added bonus, sometimes they'll bring an extra special offering of something that is still alive and very unhappy about its new situation as a love token. You'll then have to rescue said offering in the fact of a rather unhappy cat and the offering being even less pleased about it. Whilst surrounded by stampeding children, wailing for the poor little mousie (rat).

Additional gifts involve fur balls, usually yakked up after they've sprinted away from you and you can extricate them from under the sofa. A freshly vacuumed carpet is the preferred option.

They will provide an essential guard service - as soon as anything that flies, scuttles or scurries enters the grounds, they will announce it by hurling themselves in its general direction. Ensure nothing breakable in in their flightpath.

If you want them to sleep on your bed, they will probably decide that this isn't good enough for them and they prefer to sleep as far away from you as possible until about 3.30am, when they start running the Wall of Death up and down the stairs. They might want to check in on you by howling until you swear at them, when they will go back to sleep until 45 minutes before your alarm is due to go off and then bounce on your chest and face to get up and give them their breakfast.

If you don't want them in the bedrooms, they will probably be bereft without you and howl, wail, moan, rattle doorhandles, headbutt the door and claw at the carpet to be let him. Once they are let in, give it about 25 minutes and they'll repeat this to be let out again. Or they'll be so happy that they have to stand on your ribs and claw you whilst dribbling into your face.

If you're about to get up and do something, the cat will decide to cuddle up, purr and look impossibly cute, so you can't bring yourself to move. But if you want them to cuddle you, ewww! Not on your life when I've got a window to look through or a bum to clean.

Oh, and you will get used to seeing a lot of that bum. It's friendly to show it to you - you might understand a bit of cat rather than cat-human language (miaows and chirrups) and get the idea that they're inviting you to sniff it. There's a good chance that they will fart at that very point, especially when your posh friend is visiting.


Laptops are for cats, not for humans. This also applies to books, magazines, colouring books, painting and anything else of yours - this includes the seat you are currently on. Or your food; it's instantly better because it's yours. In a similar vein, they will love, adore and crave the very expensive and the cheapest cat food for just long enough for you to buy a month's supply of it. Then they will hate it because you are obviously trying to poison them. And complain that you are now starving them. If more than one person feeds them, they will claim that they have never been fed before in their lives and they're wasting away a whole thirty minutes after the other person put their food down. Or they'll wander off and get fed by the little old lady three doors down who talks to your neighbours about how cruel the owners of this poor, dear little thing that visits, because it's always so hungry.


Other than that, they're smart, stupid, funny, frustrating, warm, cuddly, aloof, ridiculous and pets that will alternately drive you crazy and make you shake your head and smile.



And then, once you spend over ten years swearing, tripping over and never being quite certain if the house smells catty when friends visit, despite cleaning religiously, the sod will get doddery, sick and you'll do everything you can to get them better, posh food, syringe feeding, weeks at the vet, weekly visits at half your mortgage payments. After all that and a mini recovery to let you breathe a sigh of relief, the rotten so and so will be ready to expire and you cuddle and stroke it, still purring as the vet depresses the syringe and, whilst tears stream down your face, they slip away gently and peacefully. You'll go back to a house that is too quiet, too clean and missing every last bit of annoyance, irritation, frustration and stomach achingly funny contrariness you've moaned about for the last decade or so.



I'd wholeheartedly recommend getting a cat. But only if you can see through the truth to what's underneath.

Jojo you have my cats to a T, think we must live near to one another! LOL

mellymoo74

Jojo that was perfect.

We missed having cat's so I was quite pleased to inherit tomcat.
I have heard that cats are like having a 20 year old child and dogs are like having a 2 year old. I would agree with that.

Oh
Cats decide where they live so don't be surprised if you get a cat, love it, buy it the best food, treats, toys and beds but it still spends most of its time 3 doors away.

sheramber

dogs have owners, cats have servants.

Mupette

Ditto what JoJo said...

I'll add ..

That pretty pink round cushion with turquoise pattern you've had your eye on for months, and finally justify buying to sit on in the garden wasn't actually for you but you cat.

The cat cave unused for months until you decide to pack it away and then all of a sudden they want it, and don't you dare even think about washing it, oh no it gets neglected again.

Dog bed is comfy too, dog food is nice, don't want the cat food, but the other cat bowl looks nice.

Doesn't matter if its a dry day there is cat paw prints all over every window sill. The curtains look better with claw marks on them, and black fur all over the lining.

They don't like closed doors, even wardrobes, they do like to watch the water swirling down the toilet to make sure it goes down the right way.

Doesn't like the fresh water put out every day, pond water tastes much better.

Plant pots are designed for cats to dig and pee in them, not for plants at all.

The list could go on..