No communication re divorce

bengal128

Hi

After some advice as don't to jump the gun or rock the boat...


I have been separated from my husband 4 years, he tried to divorce me 3 and half years ago after his diagnosis of a brain tumour. I signed and agree not to fight anything as felt bad. It then got dismissed as he hadn't put proper grounds down. After this he told me that he wasn't going to ensure i had finances to bring kids up. Prior to his diagnosis he refused maintenance. He also wanted house sold and didnt care where kids ended up!

Anyway 10 months on from this i decided to rent house out as his family and himself refused to communicate with me regards to kids. I am self employed and no childcare from parents nearby. I rented house out and rented in an area nearer my aunt and with loads of work in my profession. As i wanted to think about the kids future as I have loads of debt. Since i moved away,( hour and quarter drive) i have driven kids over every other friday evening after a full week at work amd collected them again on Sunday. Total of 224 miles a weekend! As well as school holidays. His mum and dad are both able to drive.

December last year i asked him/them if he wanted a divorce and was well enough in which they said yes. So to keep it compassionate i put two years with consent down.

I've communicated fairly and openly all along. Now he won't sign it until I've given my financial disclosure. I have just paid to get a form E done but his solicitor is saying no they only want my disclosure and not formE before acknowledgement is signed. Which is very unfairas it's all one sided.

My question is this...what would you do?

Tell them you're not going to take kids over and offer to meet half way or collect only, worried this may rock the boat.

Tell him I'll resubmit petition with UB but make a case for costs against him

Tell him okay I'll wait until next year and say i can't be bothered chasing divorce or running kids back and forth.

I'm also worried about the fact i rented house out without him allowimg me too, but i had no choice.

Is there any reason why he won't sign before i disclose my finances?

Many thanks in advance

thorsoak

bengal128 wrote: »

Hi

After some advice as don't to jump the gun or rock the boat...


I have been separated from my husband 4 years, he tried to divorce me 3 and half years ago after his diagnosis of a brain tumour. I signed and agree not to fight anything as felt bad. It then got dismissed as he hadn't put proper grounds down. After this he told me that he wasn't going to ensure i had finances to bring kids up. Prior to his diagnosis he refused maintenance. He also wanted house sold and didnt care where kids ended up!

Anyway 10 months on from this i decided to rent house out as his family and himself refused to communicate with me regards to kids. I am self employed and no childcare from parents nearby. I rented house out and rented in an area nearer my aunt and with loads of work in my profession. As i wanted to think about the kids future as I have loads of debt. Since i moved away,( hour and quarter drive) i have driven kids over every other friday evening after a full week at work amd collected them again on Sunday. Total of 224 miles a weekend! As well as school holidays. His mum and dad are both able to drive.

December last year i asked him/them if he wanted a divorce and was well enough in which they said yes. So to keep it compassionate i put two years with consent down.

I've communicated fairly and openly all along. Now he won't sign it until I've given my financial disclosure. I have just paid to get a form E done but his solicitor is saying no they only want my disclosure and not formE before acknowledgement is signed. Which is very unfairas it's all one sided.

My question is this...what would you do?

Tell them you're not going to take kids over and offer to meet half way or collect only, worried this may rock the boat.

Tell him I'll resubmit petition with UB but make a case for costs against him

Tell him okay I'll wait until next year and say i can't be bothered chasing divorce or running kids back and forth.

I'm also worried about the fact i rented house out without him allowimg me too, but i had no choice.

Is there any reason why he won't sign before i disclose my finances?

Many thanks in advance

Why should you think you needed his permission to rent out the house? If he no longer lived with you, who is paying the mortgage - and did you notify the mortgage company?

Is he paying child maintenance?

swampduck

It sounds very much like you need to get legal advice for your own protection and peace of mind.
You say that you don't want to rock the boat but this man is controlling you. I can't comment if this happened when you were living with him or not -but he is calling all the shots now. I realise that he has a brain tumour but this could affect his behaviour now and may have done in the past too.
But irrespective of that you have care of the children and are running yourself ragged trying to work, to support and look after your children and then transport them in your own free time and at your expense.
This man is being extremely selfish - it may be time to take a step back and stop being so accommodating and start thinking about how all this is affecting you and your family. Let him or his parents make arrangements to collect the children even it's just one way - it reduces the need for you to do double journeys.
A free half hour appointment with a solicitor will help put things in perspective and sort this E form too. I suspect they want to know what income renting the marital home out is generating even if you may be using this income to pay rent on your present home.
Make sure you are getting whatever benefits you need to tide you over in the meantime and take the time to do what is right for you. You have been in limbo for 4 years it's time to step up and take control of your future.

Swampy

TBagpuss

provide the disclosure.
You will have to give it sooner or later to get finances sorted.
Once he signs the paperwork for the divorce you can move that side of things along, including making an application to the court to sort out the finances if you need to (in which case the court will order him to provide disclosure)

What specifc disclosure are they asking for? A form E may be more than is needed, but what specifcally are they asking for?

Did you include a cliam for costs in the divorce petition? If you did, then that may be why they are asking for information, f they want to argue that he should not have to pay costs.

Assuming you have already issued your petition, you'd have to pay to amend it to change to UB.

If you have not issued it yet you could amend to UB but you will still need him to complete an acknowledgment so it will be quicker and easier to try to resolve this.

Ask his solicitor what specific disclosure they want, and ask them if they can clarify why they need that before they can return the ackowledgment.

Mojisola

bengal128 wrote: »

I have been separated from my husband 4 years

If you haven't already, make a will otherwise your husband will inherit from you under the intestacy rules.

Also, if the house is owned as 'joint tenants' get that changed to 'tenants in common' so that you can leave your half of it to your children. He doesn't need to agree to this - you can break the joint tenancy by informing him and notifying the Land Registry.

Guest101

Since you no longer live in the house it seems sensible for it to be sold and assets split?


You didn't need his permission to sell, but his half of the rent could amount to child maintenance.

Tammykitty

bengal128 wrote: »

Hi

After some advice as don't to jump the gun or rock the boat...


I have been separated from my husband 4 years, he tried to divorce me 3 and half years ago after his diagnosis of a brain tumour. I signed and agree not to fight anything as felt bad. It then got dismissed as he hadn't put proper grounds down. After this he told me that he wasn't going to ensure i had finances to bring kids up. Prior to his diagnosis he refused maintenance. He also wanted house sold and didnt care where kids ended up!

Anyway 10 months on from this i decided to rent house out as his family and himself refused to communicate with me regards to kids. I am self employed and no childcare from parents nearby. I rented house out and rented in an area nearer my aunt and with loads of work in my profession. As i wanted to think about the kids future as I have loads of debt. Since i moved away,( hour and quarter drive) i have driven kids over every other friday evening after a full week at work amd collected them again on Sunday. Total of 224 miles a weekend! As well as school holidays. His mum and dad are both able to drive.

December last year i asked him/them if he wanted a divorce and was well enough in which they said yes. So to keep it compassionate i put two years with consent down.

I've communicated fairly and openly all along. Now he won't sign it until I've given my financial disclosure. I have just paid to get a form E done but his solicitor is saying no they only want my disclosure and not formE before acknowledgement is signed. Which is very unfairas it's all one sided.

My question is this...what would you do?

Tell them you're not going to take kids over and offer to meet half way or collect only, worried this may rock the boat.

Tell him I'll resubmit petition with UB but make a case for costs against him

Tell him okay I'll wait until next year and say i can't be bothered chasing divorce or running kids back and forth.

I'm also worried about the fact i rented house out without him allowimg me too, but i had no choice.

Is there any reason why he won't sign before i disclose my finances?

Many thanks in advance

Child access has nothing to do with the divorce, if you have been happy enough to take the children to his up to now, do not mess around with it.


If you want to change the arrangements around child access, do so after the divorce, not out of spite due to the divorce proceedings.