We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum. This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are - or become - political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
We're aware that dates on the Forum are not currently showing correctly. Please bear with us while we get this fixed, and see Site feedback for updates.

What can I expect at a meeting to discuss my ongoing absence from work?

Toomuchdebt
Toomuchdebt Posts: 2,133 Forumite
Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
I've been off sick since Dec 1st...nobody including myself expected it to drag on as long as this with no end in sight. I don't have a diagnosis yet but after ruling out MS,rheumatoid arthritis, lupus and a brain tumour , the neurologist has passed me back to a rheumatologist and expects me to be told I have fibromyalgia/polymyalgia and me/cfs. Whatever it is I have it's variable, meaning one day I feel kind of ok with painkillers, and the next I can't get out of bed as I'm in such pain and my legs and hands are numb. I'm an optical and hearcare assistant so can't manage my job-as I'm in pain most of the time I can't concentrate on what I'm meant to be doing, I drop things, I stumble,can't stand up for long and constantly have to move around when sitting on a chair to try and make my pain a little less.
My sick pay is finishing next week and I will have to claim ESA. I'm not sure what the purpose of this meeting is really. I can't go back to work yet, even if they did now offer me less hours. There are no other roles that don't involve dealing with customers(I lose track of phone conversations), as there are 2 permanent office staff-and even that involves lots of phonically. I don't know what they expect of me. Quite honestly I'm expecting to be handed my notice because I only started there 18 months ago. But to get there I will have to drag myself out, dose myself up with more painkillers than I should be taking, just to make it there and back and to cope. I should add I've been awarded PIP and a blue badge for parking because most days I can't walk without pain.
I get the feeling they think I'm exaggerating because the doctor's notes are vague as I have no diagnosis. The nice manager is on maternity leave now and it'll be the other one who quite frankly I'm a little scared of(gosh I sound like a baby).
I have kept them up to date with all the medical investigations and symptoms.
Even writing this has taken me a while because I've had to go back and correct things and stop for my hands to stop tingling. Wish I could just turn back time to last year when I was going jogging and on long walks with the dog. Some days I need to use a crutch when my foot goes numb for long periods of time.
Has anyone ever had to have a meeting like this when they weren't able to return to work?
Debts Jan 2014 £20,108.34 :eek:

EF #70 £0/£1000

SW 1st 4lbs
«13

Comments

  • Browntoa
    Browntoa Posts: 49,549 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Got the feeling it's just a standard HR box ticking exercise , my company does home visits after a set period of time

    Think it just covers them legally further down the line
    Ex forum ambassador

    Long term forum member
  • Toomuchdebt
    Toomuchdebt Posts: 2,133 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Do you know I think I'd rather they came to my house. It would save me having to struggle in and deal with the crowds. I haven't been into town more than 6 times in the past 6 months. I can manage the shopping when my eldest comes with me once a week but that's at a supermarket out of town and I can walk as slowly as I need to. Do you think I could ask them to come to my house instead?
    Debts Jan 2014 £20,108.34 :eek:

    EF #70 £0/£1000

    SW 1st 4lbs
  • Browntoa
    Browntoa Posts: 49,549 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    It's a reasonable request to get them to visit you at a time that's convenient , it's also reasonable that you ask in advance what is to be discussed so you can prepare
    Ex forum ambassador

    Long term forum member
  • lizziebabe
    lizziebabe Posts: 1,115 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Sorry to hear about your health problems.

    It would be useful if you could take a Union rep with you to the meeting or if you are not in a union, a colleague or friend. Write a list of the things you need to ask about along with copies of your sick notes. I'm sure that the stress is not helping you either.

    Unfortunately as you haven't been in the job for over two years you are not entitled to any redundancy pay. I think you should speak to Citizens Advice as well to ensure that you are getting all the benefits that you are entitled to.

    It does sound like your employer can't find you alternative work and therefore they will probably have to let you go.

    I do hope that you get a diagnosis soon as you will be able to plan ahead. Small steps at the moment and hope things improve soon.

    Lb x
  • xapprenticex
    xapprenticex Posts: 1,760 Forumite
    But keep in mind that as reasonable as you/others may think it is, you cant demand that they visit you and they don't have to do it.

    IMO avoid getting their backs up with the requests/demands.
  • Toomuchdebt
    Toomuchdebt Posts: 2,133 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Thanks the letter said I could only ask a work colleague to come with me and I am not in touch with any of them outside of work. I'm not in a union. If I can manage I will go. If not I will call and let them know and try to rearrange.
    Debts Jan 2014 £20,108.34 :eek:

    EF #70 £0/£1000

    SW 1st 4lbs
  • Toomuchdebt
    Toomuchdebt Posts: 2,133 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Also I don't have any copies of my sick notes-they've all been handed in to work. Do you think I should take my PIP award notice in and my blue badge?
    Debts Jan 2014 £20,108.34 :eek:

    EF #70 £0/£1000

    SW 1st 4lbs
  • xapprenticex
    xapprenticex Posts: 1,760 Forumite
    Thats all you can do, good luck.
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,685 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    You could ask them if they would provide a door to door taxi for you if that would help.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • Kynthia
    Kynthia Posts: 5,690 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    It will just be part of the HR process. They want to find out what the situation is and possibly tell you what their situation is. If they're a good employer and you explained in advance how difficult getting out is they may consider coming to you or they may hold tge meeting without you (not as scary as it sounds as it might be a case where the manager gets together with HR and occupational health to discuss your situation and then next steps in their absence policy).
    Don't listen to me, I'm no expert!
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 348.4K Banking & Borrowing
  • 252.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 452.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 241K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 617.3K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 175.7K Life & Family
  • 254.1K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.