how many people know about your debts?

Poor_Single_lady

I told my best friend about half of it and instantly wished i hadn't. He brought it up at a later date which i wasnt prepared for and was quite taken aback. And he wanted to pay some of it off and i pay him which in his head he thinks is kind but i find suffocating and intense. Its my problem and im working through it. Im glad he doesnt know about it all. My other friend thinks i have a little bit. I've actually got £14,800 but im not telling anyone else. My parents would be too upset and my sister would remind me of it every time I saw her. Can just picture her asking me how its going, I know for me that would be far worse than going it alone bar sharing on here.
Btw i think this is a really good useful thread and i found it incredibly helpful to read all the different peoples answers. Thank you.

BrightLights14

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

Btw i think this is a really good useful thread and i found it incredibly helpful to read all the different peoples answers. Thank you.

Totally agree! :j:j:j

KirstyO

andyfromotley wrote: »

I imagine shes very proud of your signature now too?!!

Yes she is!
I was helped by a small inheritance, but I didn't rush to throw it all at my debts. I worked to secure F&F's where I could, and now half of it is still tied up in long term savings, becoming the start of a retirement pot!

chewycov

My debts aren't exactly huge at the moment, I think I've got about £1500 of my car to pay off, and about £800 of a bank loan to pay off. Bank loan will definitely be paid off early as soon as I have a chance, car might be too, haven't decided on that one yet. I have paid of a £2000 overdraft in the last year though.

Most people know roughly how much debt is tied up in the car, as I think just about every man and his dog has a car on some kind of finance scheme these days. Mine is actual hire purchase rather than one of these personal lease things though, so I actually feel quite in control with that one, seeing as I'll actually own the car at the end.

I haven't told anyone about the bank loan. I do feel slightly embarrassed at that one, being in my early 20s and still living at home. Most of my friends my age are lucky enough to have parents who are willing and able to buy them stuff and help them out with stuff (including paying their house deposit for them?!) while I'm paying rent to my family. In fact, the only financial assistance I've had from the family since I turned 16 is 30 quid for a heater while I was off at uni, because ice was starting to form in my room :rotfl: Not that I'm complaining, it's just easy to feel embarrassed when you can't indulge in the same lifestyle as some friends. It's also frustrating when they don't seem to understand that you don't enjoy the same help as a lot of them do, so I try to keep the topic of money well out of the way when talking to them. And I certainly haven't told any of my family about the bank loan, most of them are already worrying about their own debts so I wouldn't want to worry them more.

I didn't tell anyone about the 2k overdraft until I'd paid it off. That was racked up in the intermittent period between dropping out of uni (hated it, I'm not an academic in any sense of the word) and finding a decent job. Again, it feels embarrassing to admit to racking up that kind of debt while living at home, and the frustration of better off friends not understanding that I pay my family rent. But as soon as I'd paid it off, I was only too happy to natter on about it!

Game_Over_2

When I finally stopped my crazy juggling and let my finances crash and burn, telling other family members was one of the most difficult aspects of a very difficult few months.

I didn't tell them until after I'd arranged a DMP and stabilised the situation. It wasn't easy -- I told my elderly parents in general terms but didn't tell them the actual figure. They're very good at putting bad things out of their heads so I honestly don't think they've ever grasped the extent of the situation. They were very supportive in buying me a car (very small and not new) after my old wreck finally disintegrated. For that, I will always be grateful.

I told my brother and it did not go well at first -- I was attempting to unburden myself on my phone and he actually seemed to be involved in a sort of play fight with one of his housemates at the other end whilst I was doing it. I really screamed at him about that. But he's the only person I've ever told the real figure to, and afterwards he was emotionally supportive and not particularly judgmental.

Telling this group in the footer was also a hugely significant step. I do think telling people breaks down the isolation. But be careful to choose your moment, and don't expect them to grasp the full significance of what you've been going through immediately.

mrsbee17

I find talking about money with other people totally cringe! We're not in massive debt (£750 on a CC) and we budget but my husband has no problem telling people he only has "x amount" left until payday - he doesn't understand why I'm so private about it but I guess that's how I am. What he fails to tell people is that the "x amount left" is the 'spending money' fund and we do have money for food, fuel and our bills etc.

Stevie_Palimo

When I did have debt I told a few close friends and family and lucky enough am not in debt now, Did have the brother come round to let me know the full extent of his debts and some were plain stupidity, I have helped out to a point but made him know that he needs to sort the majority of this which he is now doing.

Spoonhead88

Pretty much everyone I know knows about my debt issues. Even the ones that owe me enough cash that if they paid me back would go a long way to clearing the bulk of the debts. Sigh rant over.

joannejenius

Most people know about it and those who need to know about it do. I'm not ashamed of it, I had to do it to live.