how many people know about your debts?

jan875

BrightLights14 wrote: »

Interesting thread! This has been on my mind for a while. I'm on a DMP (approx £6k paid off so far, £14k to go & another 3-4 years). Initially I only told my boyfriend (who I now live with) and one close friend who helped me organise the DMP when I was first struggling.

However, recently I've been wondering if I should tell my parents too, mainly sparked by the fact that they pumped £2k into my bank account last month to pay off the only cc they know about in full (absolute heros). While this was a huge help & a massive weight off my mind, I quickly stated to feel guilty as they think I'm now debt free, which is very far from the truth! The reason I didn't tell them initially was because I knew they'd worry & wouldn't be able to help, so it would just cause more stress & worry & pain. Plus, I'm hugely embarrassed. Now though, I wonder if they could help & if not telling them would upset them if they ever do find out. I don't have kids yet, but I imagine if I did & they were in trouble I'd want to know.

I think I'm going to wait a year, until the debt is below £10k & then bring it up over a glass of wine with my mum. Dreading that conversation though! Xx

With my parent head on... I really hope that one day I will be in a position to help my son out financially, however I would't expect him to provide me a full disclosure of his personal finances.

If it does make you feel better then tell your mother about it at a later date.I certainly don't think that you have anything to feel guilty about though!

lumpyspaceprincess

Before I started the DMP I told nobody, aside from my husband. Everyone thought I was doing marvellously!

2 years in, I'm not ashamed to tell people. In fact, I'm not shy about it either. Yes I did owe that much, yes I do owe this much still, but I realised and am dealing with it. It's important for me to share my experience with people, to understand that debt is not unmanageable and everyone can get through it with help and support.

BrightLights14

jan875 wrote: »

With my parent head on... I really hope that one day I will be in a position to help my son out financially, however I would't expect him to provide me a full disclosure of his personal finances.

If it does make you feel better then tell your mother about it at a later date.I certainly don't think that you have anything to feel guilty about though!

Thanks! That's true, I guess we're all adults. :T

Bouncybubbles

I had to tell my husband about the debts early last year as I was struggling and kept having to borrow money off my mum (terrible I know) in order to pay them inc unsecured debts daft now I know. He was abit shocked and apparently had been wondering about our relatively nice lifestyle.




over year later and I had racked up yet more debt including a 4.2K CC maxed out! and a 5K loan! I told my mum and step-dad snippets of what was going on and eventually told them the whole thing when I started a DMP as it felt so good to be able to stand on my own two feet and afford enough food for the month on our own etc for the first time in 8 years since leaving home! after we had started the DMP in may this year I confided in a close friend who had been pestering me for ages to sort myself out she could tell I had no money when I couldn't take a decent packed lunch to uni.


I asked my husband if he wanted to tell his parents as they would perhaps be more understanding of lack of gifts etc in comparison to his sibling who buys super expensive ridiculous gifts (although maybe they are in secret debt too hmmmmmm....) but he said he didn't want to as felt embarrassed that it had come to this and we should deal with it alone.

anna_1977

Just people on here

I'm single so no OH to tell

KirstyO

I did only tell my mum after my DMP started. I knew the amount I needed (although not huge) was more than she could help with, so I wanted to be in a position to not be disappointed when she told me she couldn't help. Instead I was able to say 'I'm fixing it myself. I know you would help but I don't need it, and really it's my mess, so I don't want it'

andyfromotley

KirstyO wrote: »

I did only tell my mum after my DMP started. I knew the amount I needed (although not huge) was more than she could help with, so I wanted to be in a position to not be disappointed when she told me she couldn't help. Instead I was able to say 'I'm fixing it myself. I know you would help but I don't need it, and really it's my mess, so I don't want it'

I imagine shes very proud of your signature now too?!!

andyfromotley

If everyone was totally honest i wonder if the whole using credit to maintain lifestyles we cant afford cycle would fall apart. That wouldnt be a bad thing.

Beautiful-Moose

My boyfriend is the only one who knows the truth about my debt 100%. My sister knows I have debt but I have never revealed the true figure to her but then I think her and her bf are in a similar boat at the moment so maybe one day we will both admit it to each other. My friends and my partners family have no idea.

I should be able to tell my parents as they have been in horrible debts over the past 10 years and part of the reason I am in debt is down to them but money is such a touchy subject with them that I think it is best they don't know. They will find out sooner rather than later as they are selling their house not only to clear their own debts but because want to give me and my sister some money each for a deposit on our own houses. It is such a lovely offer but I will probably have to use whatever money they give me to pay off all my debt and then save the money back up again for a deposit and that is when I think the questions will come along from them.

Ellieseleven

Only my OH and my children (both grown up) know and everyone on here;)


My parents are elderly and I wouldn't want them to worry. They would have offered me the money to clear the debt's if they did know which I wouldn't have wanted.


Ellie x