Gifted deposit and protecting contribution.

Homeowner2be

Well I'm quickly running out of ideas, I'm trying to protect my self just as much as there trying to protect her, I've never purchased a house before and would prefer not to be signing anything that states she would be entitled to that plus half of the rest when I'd be paying more in, I would like nothing more than for everything to be 50/50 but it's never going to happen as long as we are accepting this money.

Instead of nit picking my replays and saying you think it's a terrible idea can I suggest you come up with one that isn't so terrible and is fair to both of us?

As it is I stand to lose out, we are not a couple of mates, the relationship isn't "flaky" , she's my girlfriend of 6 years and I have no doubt we'll get married shortly after getting the house.
I'm not trying to pull the wool over anyone's eyes, at the end of it all I simply want 50% no more no less as I will have contributed far more than is needed to have earned that.

Is there a way of her getting her percentage based of the 25k deposite, and I can then get a percentage based on my monthly payments until I have the same e.g. 10% that she started with and then we just go to what should be a normal situation of 50/50.

And with the monthly repayments I think it's going to be more on the lines that I pay around 70% and her 30%.

I certainly am not trying to be deceitful I just want what's fair for us both.

Thank you.

AnotherJoe

Well I'm quickly running out of ideas, I'm trying to protect my self just as much as there trying to protect her, I've never purchased a house before and would prefer not to be signing anything that states she would be entitled to that plus half of the rest when I'd be paying more in, I would like nothing more than for everything to be 50/50 but it's never going to happen as long as we are accepting this money.

Instead of nit picking my replays and saying you think it's a terrible idea can I suggest you come up with one that isn't so terrible and is fair to both of us?
======

I think you are finding most people saying whats fair is, the parents get their deposit back if it goes south, and you and gf 50/50 the remainder. But you dont like that and dont think its fair because you are putting more in financially, so its all come down to money with you.

And you say you are trying to protect her, I dont see that at all. How is she protected? If you split, she gets back a smaller proportion. If you have kids and she stays at home, or she is ill, and her contributions drop to zero, will you add that to the tally? Maybe have a display in thermometer form on the house like a church steeple fund showing who owes what percentage at any given time

Perhaps you could look at it a different way. I'm guessing you are currently in rented (or else surely you'd have a deposit to put in?) so at the moment absolutely zero of your "contribution" is going towards a house, eg when you stop renting you'll get zero back from your rented house. In the new situation, you'll be getting back 50% of the equity after the deposit is accounted for. To want more, strikes me as saying this is an unequal relationship all about money.

HappyMJ

Homeowner2be wrote: »

Well I'm quickly running out of ideas, I'm trying to protect my self just as much as there trying to protect her, I've never purchased a house before and would prefer not to be signing anything that states she would be entitled to that plus half of the rest when I'd be paying more in, I would like nothing more than for everything to be 50/50 but it's never going to happen as long as we are accepting this money.

Instead of nit picking my replays and saying you think it's a terrible idea can I suggest you come up with one that isn't so terrible and is fair to both of us?

As it is I stand to lose out, we are not a couple of mates, the relationship isn't "flaky" , she's my girlfriend of 6 years and I have no doubt we'll get married shortly after getting the house.
I'm not trying to pull the wool over anyone's eyes, at the end of it all I simply want 50% no more no less as I will have contributed far more than is needed to have earned that.

Is there a way of her getting her percentage based of the 25k deposite, and I can then get a percentage based on my monthly payments until I have the same e.g. 10% that she started with and then we just go to what should be a normal situation of 50/50.

And with the monthly repayments I think it's going to be more on the lines that I pay around 70% and her 30%.

I certainly am not trying to be deceitful I just want what's fair for us both.

Thank you.

You're still looking at it as if "you" are earning the money when it isn't. When you're in a relationship you earn money as a couple. Everything is shared equally. The gift has a condition on it that you do not agree with so do not accept the gift.

How do you currently split the rent and the bills?

Do you have any joint accounts? Joint savings?

marksoton

Oh !!!!!!. Just don't buy a property.

Pixie5740

Why is unfair of the OP to want more back if he is making the lion's share of mortgage repayments but it's ok for the gf to get the deposit money back? I think HappyMJ is right, it might be better just to tell the parents thanks but no thanks.

Alternatively, Barclays offer a sort of 100% mortgage where parents can use their savings as the deposit. That way the money will always remain with the parents instead of this "gift".

http://www.barclays.co.uk/mortgages/family-springboard-mortgage

AnotherJoe

Pixie5740 wrote: »

Why is unfair of the OP to want more back if he is making the lion's share of mortgage repayments but it's ok for the gf to get the deposit money back?

Because without the gift/loan/whatever it is classified as, the OP would have no way of getting anything back, not 70% not 50% not 30%, nothing, nil, nada.

The "fairness" OP is so desperate to enforce doesn't take into account at all a very generous gift, albeit with strings, of twenty five thousand pounds making this possible in the first place.

Perhaps taking that into account, OP may regard him moving from 70/30 to 50/50 as entirely fair? Its no different to Dragons Den where the 'dragon' wants a much bigger stake in the business than one might think "fair" because they are putting their money into it in the first place and because they can say "take it or leave it".

So OP, I'd say if you dont like that condition, if you dont think its "fair" (though I do,) then dont take the money, and stay in rented *****ing your money away.

Homeowner2be

Before this whole thing ever came out we was both over the moon with there offer of the deposite, we never spoke about money and was just assumed that it would all be 50/50, it most certainly is not all about money with me but before I sign anything I want to know that I would receive a fair share, nothing more.
I don't see why that's being unreasonable.

And we have a few thousands saved for the solicitor and survey fees etc.. But we have known about this deposit for some time and have relied on it (maybe a little too much) and havnt saved as much as we should have.
If it was up to me I would prefer to not accept the money, however she is getting increasingly desperate to move out and don't think she sees declining the money as an option.

I'll certainly look into the 100% mortgage with Barclays.

HappyMJ

Pixie5740 wrote: »

Why is unfair of the OP to want more back if he is making the lion's share of mortgage repayments but it's ok for the gf to get the deposit money back? I think HappyMJ is right, it might be better just to tell the parents thanks but no thanks.

Alternatively, Barclays offer a sort of 100% mortgage where parents can use their savings as the deposit. That way the money will always remain with the parents instead of this "gift".

http://www.barclays.co.uk/mortgages/family-springboard-mortgage

That is probably the best suggestion so far...

The parents get the money back after 3 years at which point they can choose to give it back to the OP as a "couple" rather than just to their daughter. If the relationship has or looks to have broken down they can keep the "gift" themselves.

Homeowner2be

That sounds like an ideal solution to me, if we weren't to go with Barclays would there be a way of releasing that money back to them when re-mortgaging after the first few years of the fixed rate?

HappyMJ

Homeowner2be wrote: »

That sounds like an ideal solution to me, if we weren't to go with Barclays would there be a way of releasing that money back to them when re-mortgaging after the first few years of the fixed rate?

After 3 years they get their 10% back....as long as you've made the payments on time every month.

You then remortgage on to a better rate. Hopefully the value has increased a little bit and you can get some 90% LTV mortgages.

If it's not increased in value at all you will owe something like 97% of the mortgage accounting for a little capital paid off each month. You wouldn't be able to remortgage then as there aren't any mortgages at 97% LTV. You would have to save some cash or stay with Barclays.

If you didn't go with Barclays it would be very difficult as remortgages tend to be 90% LTV or less and you'll be very close to that figure.