Mother of the bride

Mumsie

I couldn't find one single post for "Mother of the Bride". Do I assume that all MOB's are confidently steaming ahead, helping and advising their Daughter's with wedding preparations with an element of complete confidence, imagination and acumen? Having a bottomless pot of money to help out with might make it simpler. Are all these MOB's abiding their time quietly and unassumingly until their Daughter's big day.....seeking and finding the most beautiful understated elegance of dress to wear, busy deleting the grey from their hair, doing their tummy push ups, watching the calories and getting their skin modestly tanned whilst choosing totally matching clothing that will be suitable for the day.
Well, I must be the only "wobbler". I cannot believe that this is reducing me to a quaking mess......whilst I have been quietly confident throughout life, all of a sudden just going and looking for a Mother of the Bride frock is becoming a daunting experience indeed, like something I have never experienced in my life before. For starters, has anyone (I mean real people here!) experienced dresses for Mother of the Bride in bridal-wear shops. OMG. For an August wedding I cannot possibly imagine wearing something in heavy satin or lace with a little satin jacket and kitten heels!.......and then have you felt the weight of these dresses (and that isn't just the price) and that horrible cold feel of satin on your body as it slides on (Somebody somewhere must enjoy that but it just makes me shiver!) The big stores fare no better.....this year is the year of synthetic fibres! Oh dear. Big splodgy flowery prints transposed on polyester or worse. Sweating in the August heat does't appeal. That is if I could find something to fit exactly......I am so used to making my own, or visiting charity shops for extras that I have completely forgotten there is a whole world of new clothing out there with large prices to match. I visited a posh frock shop (one of many) and the assistant was keen to show off her knowledge of labels......."Pardon?" I said. "I'm sorry, you are talking to the wrong person here. I cut ALL of the labels out of my frocks. They feel like razor blades usually, so I cut them all off and actually.......I am here looking for something nice and special to wear for my Daughter's wedding." I was definitely in the wrong shop!
One lady assistant said to me "When you have your hat/fascinator/hat-inator(??What?) on......and your make-up (MAKE-UP......oops, she said the wrong words there.....I have never worn make up other than lipstick. Coral, if you must know. With my beautiful 63 year old skin I would NEVER dare to wear make up. What for.....to starve it of nourishment and bring on the spots! I spend enough time on slathering it up with moisturiser/exfoliation and that takes patience to get my skin glowing like this) and neither do I dye my hair because I have this fantastic hairdresser who cuts hair to die for (not dye for) and although it may be a tadge grey in the winter months, it turns fantastic shades of blonde in the summer.....and I love it!
I haven't even got as far as a hat yet.......or shoes.............
I'll report back when I've got that far. In the meantime, I have three cakes to ice and tier........Bride and bridesmaid's dresses to alter, lovely old photographs to plough through for some interesting ones on the day......and Pinterest to look for ideas. All ideas for the day gratefully received, especially from Mother of the Brides who have been there. All tips and hints accepted graciously. Thank you for listening ladies!

Mojisola

Mumsie wrote: »

That is if I could find something to fit exactly......I am so used to making my own, or visiting charity shops for extras that I have completely forgotten there is a whole world of new clothing out there with large prices to match.

Why not make your own dress for the wedding?

If you're not confident about that, find a local dressmaker who will do it for you. You get to choose the fabric and the design and the dress will fit perfectly.

Artytarty

Me too! No no no to typical m o b outfit. I'm seriously t motes to draft a copy of a vintage pattern I've seen and make my own. No hat either but yes to makeup and a bit of extra exercise.
Will post more on this thread later when I've more time, great thread, jus what I need, a place to compare and vent!

Rain_Shadow

Thank you, OP. That post made my day.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

pigpen

Far too much over thinking going on here.. it is one day, one outfit and really not worth all this stressing.

Wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing.. if that is a trouser suit or a floor length dress or a whatever.. honestly.. a ton of lace and beads ages anyone years and I would certainly not be wearing such a monstrosity.

Fascinators are ludicrous.. they just look ridiculous.. stupid dangling thing wobbling about just antenae.. is that really 'you'??

Make your own dress..

And if necessary ship out alterations on the other dresses.. is it too late to book someone to ice the cakes?? There is a whole difference between wanting to do someyhing and having the time to actually do it!

It is a day about family and love and happiness not winding yourself up into a heart attack.

I sure as heck wouldnt be doing any of it!

hazyjo

I'll find you something to wear


What size.


What height.


What do you usually wear (trousers? dress? skirts? Certain colours?). Patterned / plain?


What's your best bits.


What's your worst.


What won't you wear (low cut? high neck? short sleeves/sleeveless? jewellery?


Jx

Faith177

My mum just went to debenhams for her outfit got a gorgeous outfit in the sale and looked great

As others have said wear what you want to wear and just enjoy your daughter's day and be proud of the woman she's become with your help

belfastgirl23

Are you worried about what your DD wants or expects? Does she want or expect the lace and taffeta number? I'd ask her for some guidance here. If her view is that you should wear something you're comfortable in then you can relax. But if her wedding is going to be more formal then you probably need to think about what you can wear that looks smart but you also feel comfortable in. In any case first stop is having a proper talk with her....

If it helps though I don't think it's just a MOB problem - though I can see it's a lot more acute as MOB - more so a general wedding problem for women who don't have perfect figures or are over 35 (I am both ). I had a wedding to go to last year and it was a stressy kind of affair where the bride had strong ideas on how she wanted people to look. I really got myself in a twist in the run up to it and it did put a dampner on the whole thing. I know exactly what you mean about polyester florals vs tight little nipped in lace numbers - neither are my style! I ended up in Hobbs - they do some nice weddingy outfits that aren't too over the top and whilst they aren't cheap if you time it with a sale it's not too bad. The staff were also very nice in helping me make my mind up.

Shoes are the other nightmare of course. If you want or need to wear heels for the formal bit but aren't comfortable in them, bring a change of shoes for the rest of the day In fact bring a change of shoes anyway. There's nothing worse than women traipsing about with a face like fizz because their shoes are killing them!

hazyjo

PS I've bought loads of dresses off ebay. There are zillions. Nothing ever usually fits me in shops, but because I know what shape to go for when gambling if it'll fit, it usually pays off. You can choose 'plain', or what material, or colour if you like, length... lots of filters to play around with (presuming listers have used them).


Jx

sweetilemon

I've not looked, but you might get MOB posts in the wedding section? Think my mum got her outfit in coast. I don't think too many people go for the traditional look now it's a bit dated.

I'm quite independent and when I got married the ingrained assumption that I would need 'advising' (told what's best) by my mum and MIL was not helpful one bit so if your keeping out of it unless asked you'd have been in my good book. And save the strops about not being involved enough or its not how you would have planned it.

If my mother stayed away from the bridesmaids colours I was quite happy with whatever else she chose.

suki1964

Ha, I went through this earlier this year

Two weeks before the wedding and I hadn't done a thing lol

So I hit Marks and Sparks, picked up two dresses, one jacket, pair of shoes and the smallest fascinater I could find. Took it all home and tried everything on to decide on the dress, sent the other back, whole outfit was less then £150. Found a bag reduced to £5 and bought a neckless for £10

My beauty regime was a cut and colour. Not the usual colour as I was 3/4 of the way through growing the colour out and going grey naturally, so I just had the ends blended into the grey

Oh and the day I booked to get my brows done - 3 days before the wedding - my seb derm broke out and my face was an eruption of scabs and bleeding skin lol

I got my hair blowed dried in the morning at my daughters ( and got a telling off for not having fascinater to hand ) then drove two hours to the hotel with the flowers, still in jeans, only to find out my room wasn't ready so I had nowhere to shower and do my make up and nails lol

I finally got to my room 30 mins before the wedding party was due, and I sat through the service with wet nails lol

I felt a right plonker in a dress and a thing on my head, soon as we were sat for the speeches and meals, the fascinater was removed. I have heard tell that MOTB leads the way, until she removes head piece no one else can, don't know how true that is but no one had theirs on come the end of the meal

End of the day it was a truly fantastic day, totally laid back. Once the photos were done , ties were loosened, jackets removed, shoes kicked off.

I stressed out before hand because I wanted everything to be perfect for our daughter. We spoke about it just last week and I asked if she was annoyed that I didn't colour my hair and didn't wear a formal MOTB type outfit, and she said not at all, that I looked like me, only better, and that me being there and to enjoy myself was all she wanted. She did however thank me for not changing into jeans and t- shirt lol