Advice on inheritance offer

Pollycat

Gigervamp wrote: »

This is another problem.

We were very grateful when OH's family gifted us a house. Unfortunately, we've discovered that they now feel entitled to tell us how to live.
I have terminal cancer, and my husband has been working full time, then caring for me when he gets home, as well as doing the shopping and the usual household chores. He's now off work sick himself, and yet they keep nagging him to get the garden tidied up, as it's been neglected while I've been ill (3 years).


They seem to think that they're our landlords.

I think this is shocking treatment by your in-laws.

As per my post below yours (#49) we've loaned my sister some money.

This came with no strings attached whatsoever - the 2 loans were for 2 specific & important things, which is why we made the offer to her.

I've asked her to let us know if she's struggling to meet the payments so we can give her some leeway - this is in no way a condition of the loans, just a way to try to help her not get into debt.
I'd rather she paid late or less per month than run up credit card bills just because she's determined not to let us down with the repayments.

cbrown372

rollerball wrote: »

Apologies for being quiet, I've been away the last few days. I've found the advice on here invaluable and ultimately I'm going to go with my gut feeling on this. This wasn't the offer I was led to believe, the goalposts have changed and it's no longer something I want a part in. I'm going to return the money (which still remains completely untouched) on this basis. The jobs to the house aren't completely essential and are things I will get done in time under my own steam. If it feels like a problem now, it'll sure as hell be a problem still a few months/years/decades down the line. Walk away, no harm done, but certainly much more wary on my BIL intentions from here on.

Best idea and I'd also suggest you find out who suggested to your Mum that her house is put into your names at this moment in time as it really isn't a great plan.

susancs

rollerball wrote: »

Apologies for being quiet, I've been away the last few days. I've found the advice on here invaluable and ultimately I'm going to go with my gut feeling on this. This wasn't the offer I was led to believe, the goalposts have changed and it's no longer something I want a part in. I'm going to return the money (which still remains completely untouched) on this basis. The jobs to the house aren't completely essential and are things I will get done in time under my own steam. If it feels like a problem now, it'll sure as hell be a problem still a few months/years/decades down the line. Walk away, no harm done, but certainly much more wary on my BIL intentions from here on.

OP, I feel you have made the right decision. You are not in dire need of the money. You can thank them for their kind offer, but say that on further consideration, you would rather have the satisfaction of saving up and paying for it yourself.

belfastgirl23

I think this is most likely about a conflict between your sister and BIL and I think you've made the right decision. She most likely feels that some of this money is hers (and she has probably contributed in her own way to their joint financial assets) but he disagrees. You definitely don't want to be caught in the middle of this. I would be inclined to be very gracious and careful about it, be grateful for the offer but say you've had a think and it's probably not right for you, keep it at that and don't elaborate. The last thing you want is to cause conflict between your sister and her husband! From his perspective actually it seems kind of reasonable to want some kind of surety, but a lot less so from hers. This is their problem to figure out!