totally shell shocked and feeling sick

enjoyyourshoes

Need to be open with partner.

Then agree plan of action:-

Start with objective (SMART)

both agree what spending looks like, define your NEEDS and agree numbers, agree how to deal with WANTS (suggest you don't spend on wants)

do a 30/30/30

30 minutes to do. calculate annual, 1/2 &1/4ly bills, and a cash flow identifying what monthly amount you need at accrue in order to meet these obligations.

30 seconds a day. reconcile your bank account daily with all purchases against this (include the above monthly figure, all DD/SO, debit, switch,~Pay@pump, contactless etc and CC (again respectfully suggest don't use CC)
this reconciliation can be a pen and paper job or Excel doc)

30 minutes monthly. check any renewals contracts coming up next month and start renegotiating, update any other financial details (remortgage review, savings planning, cancelling CC or finding better CC deals)

so its 30, 30, 30 !

Consider:-
you can only spend a £1 once
You conciously need to make spending decisions, so they become rational based upon your own financial envelope
you are potentially a slave to compound interest, once debt free you can harness compounding interest for your betterment.
spending is psychological, work out why you both spend and fix this problem.

Good luck

RuthnJasper

Jan - most of us on here have been in the same situation as you are now, to a greater or lesser extent.

The main thing is that you have begun to face up to the problem and say "this has to end".

I'm sure your OH loves you; he will understand. As far as he was a part of the making of the situation he will be a part of the resolutions and you can come out on the other side of this as stronger, wiser individuals and an even greater couple; having dealt with this successfully TOGETHER.

It's difficult, humiliating and frightening at this point. But once you have a plan in place (posting your SOA and taking the worthy advice given, as well as tips from other MSE forum threads, will really help you along this path) - and you stick to it - you'll feel SO MUCH better 😊.

Imagine how it will feel to be free from keeping a secret from your OH... And to be free from the burden of debt that is currently weighing you down! You can do it.

Rooting for you 100%, Jan. xxx

LionessInWinter

If you pay £1600 a month and are able to keep it all on 0% cards, it should be clear in 2.5 years. Perhaps by selling things you don't need and saving on things like utilities, food, petrol etc you can throw that at the debt as well to be done faster. Good luck on the journey, you've made the first step.

jan875

LionessInWinter wrote: »

If you pay £1600 a month and are able to keep it all on 0% cards, it should be clear in 2.5 years. Perhaps by selling things you don't need and saving on things like utilities, food, petrol etc you can throw that at the debt as well to be done faster. Good luck on the journey, you've made the first step.

Yes we are lucky that we can pay them off relatively quickly. I think I will feel a lot better when they are down below the 40K mark. Don't know why but it just scares me to owe that amount!

tealady

Hi Jan
If you post your SOA the wonderful peeps on here will help you sort out how best you can save money.
However you need to be honest (with yourself at least). For example when I was in debt I told myself that buying lunch occasionally was OK, well those small amounts add up.
Being on a budget doesnt mean you cannot live and enjoy life, you just have to understand that you have a beer money budget and so cannot always live a champagne lifestyle.
Oh and don't forget the small things that help such as wombling receipts and doing surveys, they can help.

Good luck

Former_MSE_Andrea

Welcome to the Forum! As said, you're definitely in the right place. Debt Free Wannabe's a great community that will help and support you.

Make sure you start off by reading the Debt Problems guide.

Take care!

Andrea

jan875

Thank you for all of the supportive messages. I already feel as though I am part of a community here! Today has been a little better as I have been busy and therefore had less time to think about the debt!

Planning to do my SOA over the weekend

chevalier

Hi I already posted on your other thread, but here is the SOA link for you to start filling in, in case you haven't found it already

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

chev

Sazzie23

Hi jan

Dealing with debt is very confronting and yours is a long way from the highest we've seen in the DMP support thread. I'm glad you are in a position to make the payments, you've caught it in time and can make a difference to your future lives, that's an amazing thing to do.

My advice would be
1. Use the snowball calculator to check out the best way to clear the debts faster
2. Use a budget tool or a spreadsheet to watch the debts go down. It's my biggest motivational tool.
3. If tempted to buy something, calculate it in ..how many hours would I need to work to pay, or how many weeks shopping is this costing me, or whatever works for you.
4. If your circumstances do change, don't hide away or struggle on, seek help at the earliest opportunity and this is a great place to look.

Best wishes for reaching that DFD

Saz

blisteringblue

jan875 wrote: »

today I plucked the courage to add up out total debts. I thought it was around 35K..... It was 48K made up of mostly 0% cards a small loan. I am totally horrified, ashamed and shaken to the core.

You are not alone believe me, what I thought was around 40K turned out to be 61K once I added it all together.

At least you have good money to throw at it. When we started Mrs BB wanted to retrain so went back to Uni !! So we ended up in the DMP rather than a snowball (which admittedly we had tried and failed before). However as it turns out turning our back on credit has been a revelation. Will never be in that position again. We still live OK, managed a holiday in Spain last year (not this mind you) and the debt is down to 36K now. Hopefully 2 more years and we are straight for the first time in 25 years.