Angel children

sweetilemon

I never imagined this would be a thread I would be setting up but unfortunately after losing my 4week 2day old daughter to meningitis I thought a support thread might be useful.

The more people I speak to, the more I find out that tragically it is more common that I knew. Whether it's people who have had children born sleeping or lost children to illness.

I always knew how blessed I was becoming pregnant and having a healthy baby it's just so devastating to find it all been taken away. I am grieving for the loss of my child, the moments and life she will miss and selfishly grieving for the new life I thought I had.

This is a space for people to discuss the roller coaster of getting through life with the pain of missing your child. I know I'm still at the stage of struggling to see how I will be able to live a happy life without her although I am so grateful of the cherished memories we have.

Robisere

I am 71 now, but I still recall baby-sitting for my brother at 12 years old, and finding my beautiful blonde, blue eyed niece, dead in her cot when I woke first next morning. She had burst a blood vessel in her brain, which bled out through her eye. I have lived a life which included violence and death in the Middle East and Northern Ireland, I have been to the aftermath of explosions with many dead and injured, but that was the worst thing I ever experienced. I woke up from nightmares about that for several years afterwards.

My shouts woke her older brothers, just 5 and 6 years old and I could not stop them seeing their baby sister like that. It is something I can never forget. I have every sympathy for any parent and family member who loses a child like that.

pigpen

This is a very brave thread Sweet.. My parents lost my sister at 30 days old due to a birth defect. I have great respect for anyone who can bear such a loss and keep on going. Much love to you xx

TamVilla80

Hi Sweetliemon. Hope you are doing as well as can be. It's such early days for you but you are doing the best thing and reaching out to other people in the same situation. It's such a surreal thing that you can only understand it if you have been through it. Really recommend the Sands website and forum if you want to speak to people who have been through what you have.

A rollercoaster is just the right way to explain it. I felt so lonely after saying goodbye to our son, felt like no-one understood anything, but speaking to people it is unfortunately far too common. I'm heartbroken, always will be, but feel that his short presence in our lives is not wasted and I'm a better person because of what he taught me.

System

Time is not a great healer but it does teach you how to manage the pain.:(

JuneAB

My brother died at 4 months. I was born a year later.

It never leaves you. My mum never speaks about him despite my nephew being his namesake (she always says my sister just liked the name despite it being 'old fashioned') I never met him but he's still my brother and I always think about him and how he could have been as an adult. In my mind he would have been my best friend, in reality (judging by my other brothers) he would have treated me like any other big brother would.

The sad fact is life goes on, the good thing (from my situation) is that I know I always have someone looking out for me (my big brother). If something doesn't go my way I know it's because he knew it wasn't right for me.

Sometimes missing those who mean a lot to us is just too much, sometimes it brings comfort.

God bless x x

System

I've never lost a child, but i do have a friedn who did, he was sadly born sleeping.

I can't begin imagine the pain you must have been though. Your daughter will always be a part of your life. I'm sorry you didn't have longer with her but i hope that this thread shall be a place where she can remembered and others can share their experiences.

SingleSue

My oldest brother died when he was 5 months old and then following that, my parents had a horrible time with miscarriages until my other brother was born 7 years later. I followed 3 years after that and then tragically, I had another brother born sleeping before my sister was born 6 years after me.

My parents talk all the time about their first born and their other losses and it has helped them enormously. They were only very young at the time, barely 18 and 20 at the time and I am in awe of how they managed to cope with it all and carry on.

My eldest son has the same name and at the time, both me and ex hubby were worried it would be too much for my parents, too much of a reminder but they were so pleased we had honoured him in that way.

Jimmy would have been 56 this year.

cr1mson

So sorry for your loss.

My friend lost her son at 2. She found TCF (The Compassionate Friends) very helpful.

seven-day-weekend

All of you are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like.

My aunt lost a son when he was 12, before I was born. He was out riding his bike with his father and had a brain haemorrhage.

My sister, much older than me, was the same age as him and called her son after him, and still talks about 'sweet David' now, almost seventy years later.

susancs

My heart goes out to you. I wish I had some words of comfort to take away some of your pain.

My neice lived 10 days after birth, 3 years ago, but even though a short life, she was very loved by all the family and always in our thoughts and prayers. I hope that you have family and friends to support you.