Entering Marriage with valuable assets, where do I stand

TBagpuss

duchy wrote: »

I really don't understand why anyone would get married if they wanted to ringfence their assets for the future- it;s essentially signing a contract and then not expecting the terms of the contract to apply.

For the same reason that people take out insurance even though they don't expect to be burgled / lose their job / suffer serious illness.

People get married for all sorts of reasons. I don't think I have ever met anyone how chose to get married in order to merge their finances. If you want to get married for other reasons - for instance, if you love one another, want to be together, want to publicly assert your commitment to one another.

Add in to that the fact that difference in approaches to money and finances can be a huge source of conflict within a relationship, it can be very sensible to agree on how such things will be dealt with, both in the marriage and in the event it ends.

Gavin83

TBagpuss wrote: »

People get married for all sorts of reasons. I don't think I have ever met anyone how chose to get married in order to merge their finances. If you want to get married for other reasons - for instance, if you love one another, want to be together, want to publicly assert your commitment to one another.

Surely that's the main reason people get married? The three points you raised can easily be achieved in a normal relationship, you don't need to get married for them.

There are only three reasons I can think of to get married that can't be achieved via a regular relationship:

1) To protect yourself financially.
2) To give yourself next of kin rights.
3) For religious reasons.

Everything else can be achieved in a non married relationship.

Apple24

My personal preference would be to live together unmarried however my culture does not allow it. We have to be married to live together. Unfortunately he does not have any savings so buying a place together is not an option. It was a joint decision to get married but more so as we want to live together. I never thought about my assets until now

onomatopoeia99

Gavin83 wrote: »

There are only three reasons I can think of to get married that can't be achieved via a regular relationship:

1) To protect yourself financially.
2) To give yourself next of kin rights.
3) For religious reasons.

Aside from the Mental health act, there's not much that formally defines "next of kin" in statute and such status grants no legal rights.

NHS trusts realise that we aren't living in the 19th century any more, and that in the 21st century many couples co-habit but do not get married, so treat unmarried couples the same as married ones.

Guest101

Apple24 wrote: »

My personal preference would be to live together unmarried however my culture does not allow it. We have to be married to live together. Unfortunately he does not have any savings so buying a place together is not an option. It was a joint decision to get married but more so as we want to live together. I never thought about my assets until now

So you would let your culture override your personal preferences?


Each to their own, just genuinely interested how you rationalise that?

Guest101

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Aside from the Mental health act, there's not much that formally defines "next of kin" in statute and such status grants no legal rights.

NHS trusts realise that we aren't living in the 19th century any more, and that in the 21st century many couples co-habit but do not get married, so treat unmarried couples the same as married ones.

Right but there are many legal rights given to married people, that aren't available else where. - I think that was the point being made

FBaby

My personal preference would be to live together unmarried however my culture does not allow it.

And maybe that's for the exact reason that has been listed, that marriage means that you share everything. Surely if your culture means so much to you, to accept this aspect of its customs?

Happier_Me

Marriage means sharing each others financial assets - assets that are then at risk if the marriage breaks down at some point in the future. There is no fool proof way to protect against this, other than to remain unmarried.

This is about weighing up what's right for you and it's not just a financial decision. How important is it you live together? Is it absolutely necessary you marry to do this? Only you know the answers to these questions. If you get married, then you accept the potential financial repercussions of a marriage break up if it happens in the future. You may find your ex-husband walking off with half of the wealth you have built up to date! But that is a risk you take when you get married.

A pre-nup may sway a judge in your favour over distribution of your pre-marital assets so it might be worth getting one. What would your OH think to a pre-nup?

getmore4less

If you want to protect assets get them in a trust.

pollyanna24

I get the whole "what's mine is yours thing," but I have quite a bit of equity in my house, and have slogged blooming hard to get it too.

I'm not in the position of getting married (or even finding a bloke) at the moment, so maybe I'd feel different if I was with someone, but I want security for my kids before anyone who might have walked into the relationship with nothing, but expect half of what I have worked hard to get.

So, I guess, if the answer is to not get married, that is what I would do I think.