Finally at an end

andyfromotley

[QUOTE=MatthewAinsworth;70573136]I suspect that the policies only cover natural deaths
Also they should only lend if its actually possible to repay, and if it isn't you can take debt advice and get a settlement to get it reduced[/QUOTE]

Almost cre is certainly untrue. Nearly all life policies cover suicide provided that it happens a certain period after it was taken out, (often 2 years) and providing that there is no evidence of this being 'the plan' at the time of taking the cover.

However if you are having thoughts of self destryction you should see your GP immediately.

Kitten868

Please please go and see your GP. They might be able to help you with something to tackle your mood swings.
You are more important than money to your child and your wife. I would rather have my husband and £30k worth of debt than neither. I'm certain your wife feels the same.
10 years is a long time to be in a dmp. That would suck for anyone! Are you eligible for a dro? Just so there's an end date in sight xxxx

System

I think regular people are better for talking than organisations like Samaritans as their hands are less tied and can give you opinions on things, you'll find organisations are terrified of legally putting their foot in it so don't tend to allow judgements as they're hard to really control (I believe realistic judgements are a way out of depression - reality isn't as bad as people think)

I went through the training once but got frustrated with what I couldn't say that I would say to a friend

Pinkycmm

Hi Paul31
I am exactly where you are, and some days its ok and some days its not so great, but in reality our situation hasn't changed from one day to the next, its our mental strength levels that have dipped for a bit.
I'm am the least spiritual and most cynical person you could ever meet, but my business failing and mounting massive debts has taught me i'm a lot stronger than i ever thought i was.
And i tip my hat to you, because i've only been in this situation 5 years and i have no kids and i find it so f#cking, sh'tty, crapply, bas'rd hard some days that i think you must be made of steel.

On a more grounded note you cant be forced into an IVA, i'm feeling pressured to change from a dmp to an iva at the moment, but i'm standing my ground. if your dmp provider insists then find the strength thats kept you going this long and change provider OR do a self help system like CASHflow, (sorry links had to be removed google CASHflow)
its one where you do the letters and offers to creditors using templates supplied free, bit more leg work, but if like me you want more control and don't like having to justify yourself to others every year it might help.
ask pointed questions of your dmp provider, ask if it correct that they get about £5000 for every iva they get filed (bottom of page 2 on this link this link also had to be removed google iva guide moneysavingsupermarket) and ask if thats maybe taking precedence over what's best for you (and if an iva is making you think like this, then an iva isnt best for you)
my review is tomorrow and i'm feeling sick thinking about it, but they are here to help us and if something doesn't seem right, question it.
Its taken 5 years for me to realise i'm in control of this dmp and if me and my dmp provider don't agree then we can just go separate ways, i'm not tied into a contract with them, its not legally binding and if its not what i want then i stop it at any time and sort things a different way

Money_saving_maniac

Your wife and son need you. If you don't want an IVA then just say no.

Paul31

Many thanks and your right I guess there are better times.
I do want to get out of the debt end of the day I borrowed the money and spent it. I do sometimes feel like companies were throwing money at me early in the millienium things are a lot different now.
I do feel that a lot of the debts I have were almost encouraged. 10 years down the line I have an OK lifestyle I do have the odd sneaky holiday when the overtime is good at work.
I can remember the beginning of all this debt and I literally didn't have the money to buy a weekly shopping. But the DMP helped that and then things got better year by year to now I'm not financially great but bills get paid and food is on the table with the odd treat.
I've read so much stuff on debt charities IVAs DMPs.
It all scares the bejesus out of me IVA are so in dept with your finances and take every spare penny. Selfish I know but I don't wanna go back to that. I know mentally I'm beginning to show cracks I've lost interest inthe hobbies I did ,I've begun to sleep less , my relationship and private stuff are out of the window.
I just look at all the money that I could give to wife and son and think that would solve all this.
Maybe I'm having another low day

determined_new_ms

the impact of losing a parent will have a devastating impact on your son's life, both in the immediate aftermath and long term. These things often people do not recover from and their long term life chances can be diminished. Please go and seek some support for your gp for your depression. Have a look at bankruptcy and see if this is something you feel might be for you. There are other options, but your frame of mind will prevent you from seeing the options, get your mh stable and the rest will fall into place.

dancingfairy

You don't have to go on an iva if you don't want to. I'm not sure who is pushing you to an iva or why
I suggest you make an appointment to see your GP today ( tell them it's an emergency). If necessary go to a and e. Do what you need to to stay safe. It's clear that things are not great for you at the moment and you are becoming ill You need some proper medical help to get back on track.
Df

fatbelly

We don't know very much about your situation. We know you have repaid £13000 over 10 years so a little over £100 per month, with your present debt standing at 30k.

We don't know if any of this is joint debt, how much is unenforceable consumer credit act debt, whether you own property.

It seems odd that an IVA is being considered now but wasn't 10 years ago, although it is true that these have much improved over the past 10 years. Other developments have been DROs (as mentioned, but 20k enforceable debts as a max) and an online application process for bankruptcy.

Pinkycmm

Paul31 Its not selfish at all to not want to go back to counting every single last penny. i still sometimes feel sick when paying for the 'big shop' and logging into my bank account (more out of habit from past trauma that current situation lol)
These dmp work well and help no end, and they allow for certain things that you wouldn't think would be allowed (haircuts, pets, etc) but for they don't allow for a lot of other things. presents for family for birthdays and Christmas.
I know life doesn't depend on it, but i don't even have a big family, but there's 13 of us in what i consider to be my immediate family, so that's 13 birthday and 13 xmas presents a year, that averages at 2 presents month, with no provision, so as you'll already be very aware you have to be very careful with money anyway and an iva is even 'more robust'

you were kind enough to message me so as you know my review went 'well' lol, I've increased payments to an slightly scary figure but it means my projected finish date is far closer and even though payplan had emailed me a week before saying "book your review, we want to put in you in an iva" even they agreed at the end of my review that an iva wasn't the best for me now.
When i pointed out that the email had worried me, for now apparently, no reason, the guy taking the call didn't know anything about the email and said that even if they had recommended it they wouldn't and couldn't force me into it.
I do get very stressed ever review, but each year i get a bit stronger at dealing with it and I've basically decided that i will keep with payplan and in a dmp as long as it suits me and then when i decide i have the time and strength i'm going to do one of those schemes when you deal with it yourself, to take more control over things.

I've also decided when i win the lottery (does a dmp allow for lotto tickets?) i'm going to start an up a campaign team solely to get the law on debt changed. it breaks my heart when you see these poverty !!!!!! programs showing people actually being kicked out onto the streets over relatively small debts (or even big debts) i ended up owing more that my mortgage/home and i have never once been threatened with court action, let alone repossession.
It shouldn't be down to 'getting lucky with the right help'
Before a company send a bailiff it should be law they send a debt advisor

*falls off soap box*