Parents in debt. Don't know how to help.

ElaineDarby1984

I found out my parents & my Mum as an individual are in a lot of debt. I've seen letters with one being £5000 from the bank through varies overdraft fees & one a few hundred for a credit card (in mums name) & there's probably many more I don't even know about.
They had some problems before & I even paid some off for them but I'm older now & can't do that cos obv it doesn't help anyway. I thought things were better & ive been making sure things like council tax were paid & upto date cos that was an issue before too but that's definitely in credit so at least that's one thing.
I just don't know where to start with it all. I've spoken to my Mum but I think she just doesn't listen & buries her head in the sand. One letter I saw was from a debt a few years ago & she's ignored CCJ's & now they've contacted her again & it's gone up of course so I don't know what the next step is. They just do not have the money to pay these things off. My Dad works & my Mum is retired & just gets her state pension.

[Deleted User]

None of your business.

ElaineDarby1984

Deleted User wrote: »

None of your business.

I wish it was that easy to think like that & last time I did get upset over it & am a bit less stressed this time but I still live at home so it's hard not to worry over it.

missbiggles1

In your situation, your main responsibility is to make sure that you're paying your full share of all the housing costs, bills and food.

chesky

Do they rent or own their own place?

ElaineDarby1984

missbiggles1 wrote: »

In your situation, your main responsibility is to make sure that you're paying your full share of all the housing costs, bills and food.

I do pay what I can cos I'm on a low basic wage so it's up & down every month depending on what extra I do on top of contracted. Always buy my own food & have paid for things like new fridges etc over the past few years. Wish I could do more though.

ElaineDarby1984

chesky wrote: »

Do they rent or own their own place?

They rent from council. Always have.

scottishbrummy

Tricky situation... I think it might be an idea for the 3 of you to sit down and try to sort out where you are. On the other hand it isn't your business although could ultimately effect your living situation.
I know if it was me I'd want if sorted

OrrAvenue

I'm so sorry. It's your parents and you obviously want them to be fine whether it's your business or not. I wouldn't sit back and I don't live at home.

I would try and get a meeting (all 3 of you) with Citizens Advice or a call with the debt charity that everyone recommends on here (sorry I don't know name). They can sit down and go through your parents options and hopefully might make them see the depth of the situation.

sourcrates

Hi,

You need to sit down with them, find out the full picture, what they owe, how much, and to who.
Then you need to ascertain how long a gap there has been since any payments where made to these debts, if any, the limitations act 1980 may apply if it's been 6 years or more.

Once you have all this information you can then determine the next steps, if a CCJ has been registered, as you mention, it's important this is dealt wth as a matter of urgency, otherwise they could have bailiffs knocking on the door, and all the hassle that would entail.

The debt with a CCJ is a priority and must be attended too ASAP.

National_Debtline

This does sound like a very difficult, and it is quite common that people can feel overwhelmed by debt and struggle to deal with things. If you want to help them but they seem to have lost track of what is owed and where then perhaps them getting a copy of their credit files is a good place to start. This will give a better idea of how much is owed, although credit files don't cover everything - things like parking tickets, benefit overpayments etc. are not covered I am afraid. But knowing roughly how much is owed is a good starting point.


Once you know this you can start to prioritise what they need to deal with (I agree with Sourcrates that the CCJ's seem to be the most urgent) and you can start to get more advice about their long term options. They could negotiate repayments based on what they can afford or maybe get the help of a free debt management company (although it is unlikely they will deal with a CCJ). Alternatively, they may be able to consider an insolvency option such as a Debt Relief Order or Bankruptcy.


It is quite tricky to determine their options without knowing more. I think it would be wise to either call one of the free debt advice services or perhaps log onto www.mymoneysteps.org - this is a step by step online guide to give some basic advice and brief breakdown of what options that may suit them based on entering some of their details. Good luck,


Laura
@natdebtline