Children at weddings - dilemma

melanzana

Children and weddings are a big hit on internet fora. LOL

But, as you have said that you love kids, and want them there with you, the time has come to have a rethink.

You do not sound comfortable with the children being in another room (albeit with minders). So work it out. You are not happy are you?

Think again about a venue that dictates the rules to you.

It is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Make it so.

burnoutbabe

how would you feel if invited to a wedding and told they had invited too many people and YOU had to sit in another room?

Have you included yourself in the 140? (and people like photographer if they are eating with you) I'd work out who to make evening only so you don't have this stress waiting for declines.

If you have to put people in the other room, they will be very offended. You simply can't send out more invites than you have seats unfortunately.

Spendless

I'd re-think your venue. Some parents won't be happy with that idea, because they consider their children well-behaved enough to sit through the wedding breakfast and this sends the message that they aren't (and they'll assume it's your idea rather than the venues). Some parents will not feel comfortable with their children being left with someone they don't know, even if others are fine with it and some children won't be happy about being left from their parents. Older children may consider themselves too grown up to be left with an entertainer and younger children to be entertained instead of being allowed to participate in the meal with the rest of the wedding party.

Andypandyboy

Recipe for disaster in my opinion. Either they are in or out. Tell the venue they need to sort it out. They are making their life easy at the expense of yours!!

arbrighton

duchy wrote: »

The third sounds like a result .......I'd resent paying for a meal for someone I wasn't friends with.

was secretly relieved really as she'd have sat around miserably anyway but the fall out was so damned stupid but she won't let it go.

suki1964

There were toddlers and children at our daughters wedding earlier this year and they were only entertained during the drinks reception and official photos

They sat with us for the meal but had their own menu and loved the experience of being dressed up and being able to choose what they ate and drank.

Table planning made sure that the children were sat with others of the same age group so they weren't left out ( I had grandson and step grandson at our table, mother of the brides partner had his son and her daughter at theirs) and well toddlers being toddlers, they just wandered everywhere

We were supposed to be 140 only as well but ended up 146, it was no problem , just squeezed the kids in so some tables sat 8, those with kids sat 10. Seriously once the desserts were in them they were up and away to play any ways so no big deal

This was a five star hotel, they were more then happy to accomadate us, even if it did mean moving place settings at the last minute

Topcat1982

Some venues provide a babysitting service for the children of guests. This means the children are not really guests though doesn't it?

SharonAlba

I agree with burnoutbabe, I don't think most of the parents will appreciate this and the children would be uncomfortable too.

Hemera

It's fun to see how people differ: when I was a little girl I absolutely loved sitting with the other kids and not with my family during weddings, even more so when there was an entertainer. I was a shy kid and I often didn't know anyone else since my cousins are a lot older than me, but children make friends quickly. I don't even think this was done to prevent kids from disrupting or being loud, it was just assumed that the little ones would be bored sitting with grown ups (and frankly, I wouldn't have given a damn about the speeches when I was 8!).

However, if the main reason why this is done in our hypothetical situation is to relegate the children somewhere to prevent disruption, I can understand the parents would be offended... And also, I think the "kid's table" thing is only doable with those who are a little older, at least 5 or so. Younger children often need help to eat as well (I mean in cutting food and stuff), they need to be accompanied to the toilet etc. I don't think a babysitter/entertainer could provide this level of care to 10 or more children.

lush_walrus

My daughters would love this and much prefer, they would feel grown up and special to be in a room without us and so excited to come across other children. I agree that weddings are very boring places for children, sitting in quiet listening to speeches, eating for hours on tables full of adults while their mum and dad talk about boring things with other adults.

They range in age from 7 to 3 and are very independent from attending nursery, perhaps more clingy children may need more encouragement. As long as I was sure they were in the care of people who were capable of taking care of them. One adult looking after more them would be more of a worry as what happens to the children if one needs to go to the toilet etc. I would want to be called to take my child or to be sure an adult was with them if it were separate to the room they are in etc.