Want to move out but unsure if I can afford it

FBaby

It sounds like your OH is thinking more about her wants then her musts. If you don't make it clear that to get her wants, she needs to make concessions, you are opening a can or worms that will not help her nor you in the future. She needs to wake up soon and realise that unfortunately, work is mainly about supporting yourself and luxuries are what you aspire to by increasing your income.

jellie

badomen wrote: »

She's still living a little in a fantasy world as she expects to have a 2 bedroom flat with space and finances for 2 cars on our income

Don't even think about moving in together while your girlfriend is still living in financial cloud cuckoo land. It will only end badly.

badomen

Thanks for the advice - seems solid enough, we've been together for 3 years and I'm at the point where I'm tired of splitting our relationship between 2 places and only have a tiny amount of time a week together. If I were to save for a mortage deposit, am I right in thinking it's roughly(for like a 200k property) £40k I need saved for this for a reasonable prospect of being granted a mortage? (I know 5% is the base line, but I read that you need to go above and beyond this?)

xylophone

How about a HTB Isa each to focus your minds on the future?

Do both of you have the best possible current account for your needs?

Stay with your parents and save as much as possible.

Bogof_Babe

Would either set of parents agree to you having a shared room in their house? I know it's not the same as having your own place, but it would give you more chance of saving up, and also seeing how you get along together on a full-time basis.

badomen

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Would either set of parents agree to you having a shared room in their house? I know it's not the same as having your own place, but it would give you more chance of saving up, and also seeing how you get along together on a full-time basis.

My girlfriend wouldn't be able to live here really - my dad is very controlling/difficult to live with (hence my desire to get out of here ASAP) and she is very headstrong, there would be all out warfare within a couple of months I'm 99% sure of! I haven't broached the subject of living with her at her mums, but I'd have to discuss that with my partner.

xylophone wrote: »

How about a HTB Isa each to focus your minds on the future?

Do both of you have the best possible current account for your needs?

Stay with your parents and save as much as possible.

I've thought about opening one, but I thought they were only an option for those ready to buy. At the moment i'm able to save 500-1000 a month depending on how sensible I am with impulse purchases. I have a £1600 0% student overdraft current account and a 1% cash ISA which I put my savings in to. Not sure what my partner has, but I know she has a current account and a savings account. I know her dad has a substantial amount of money put away for her too, though she doesn't know when she'll have access to that, and obviously it's hers.

mildredalien

ReadingTim wrote: »

Problem is that even if you could afford to move out, the cost of renting in relation to your relatively low incomes will make saving pretty tough. Rent now, and you'll be renting forever.

Not necessarily, wages can go up and seem more likely to in the girlfriends case, and renting gives valuable independence and life experience.

It will be important to have a plan on how to increase income and reduce spending to achieve this though. A 10% deposit is probably enough to aim for on a relatively small income.

Definitely get a HTB ISA, they are for anyone who wants to buy in the future and you get the maximum benefit saving over a longer period.

t0rt0ise

You are right that you need to persuade your girlfriend to get a job working in a hospital. The pay for a Health Care Assistant is more than she is earning now and she can also pay into a decent pension.. something that I don't suppose she's thought about given her financial ability!

AndyBSG

ReadingTim wrote: »

Problem is that even if you could afford to move out, the cost of renting in relation to your relatively low incomes will make saving pretty tough. Rent now, and you'll be renting forever.

This.

I understand not wanting to buy until after you've seen if you can actually live together.

What I would say in that case is to save for a deposit for a place of your own. Once you've saved that deposit then rent somewhere for a year.

If you start renting before you have that deposit then you'll never be able to save enough.

Also, doing it that way will have several benefits. The deposit will sit in a bank for a year earning interest and while you are saving that 1,000 a month your OH will see exactly how much money she now has to survive on and will get a bit of a reality check on what you can afford.

Hutchch0920

I do agree with other posters, I'd be trying to gain a deposit while you still live at home so that you're not stuck renting. Medway is relatively cheap to buy in for Kent, I don't think you'd need £40k for a deposit...IMO £20k would give you 10% enough to buy a one/two bed (perhaps scope out rough prices). Also given your income you'd need to think practically how much you can afford to borrow/are likely to be lent?

Two other comments: Could you forfeit your car and be put on her insurance? If you're not using yours much anyway and she wants to amass her NCB then this could be a good compromise to still save money albeit not as much as if it were the other way around.

Living with OH's parents (which is what I am doing at the moment) if you really get on with her parents this could be an option for 3-6 months before you move in/buy and will mean you can save for your own place. Like sharing with anyone you will need to make concessions which I was prepared for....what I wasn't prepared for was my OH's Mum's meddling in our relationship which I unfortunately have to put up with as part of the agreement for me to live there. So there's good and bad sides to that option. Overall if I had the option again I'd still move in here as it means I can maximise my savings for our future.