NFH and her thieving gardener - allegedly!

melb

Hi all will try and keep this brief. Next doors have employed a gardener who seems to think anything not nailed down is his to take. he has taken large rockery-type stones from some land which is owned by a landbanking company at the bottom of the street (the area is fenced off but one of the panels has not been replaced so access is possible)
He was forced to return some rockery stones to the neighbours on the other side.
We then took pictures of our own small number of rockery stones just in case the same thing happened to us and today it is obvious that 3 have been removed from a small pile we had (quite near the boundary so probably reachable from their side) and a few more which have been lifted from the soil (the holes are evident!) which are a few feet into our garden so would have had to trespass.
My OH drew this to the attention of all concerned and said that if they were not replaced in our garden by end of the day he would call the police and report a theft.
She has just informed OH that she has herself called the police to inform them that he has harassed her and accused her of theft and their response according to her was not to speak to him and tell him to go away if he tries to speak to her again.
I myself had a bit of a run in with the gardener as he had 2 children with him about 12 and 8. the 8 year old was breaking up some hardened soil with an axe nearly as big as him. The older one was using a cement mixer the other day and his dad had to scream at him as he was about to put his hand inside the machine. I said I didn't think it was sensible or even legal legal to have such young children working . the final straw was when they started attacking one of the trees in the landbank property area (which yes was probably none of my business but this axe he was wielding was about 3 foot 6 long.) and that was when I went out and had a word.
Obviously you only have one side of the story here but I was just wondering what you thought the best course of action might be for us. OH is going to phone police tomorrow to get some idea of legalities of neighbour theft (she denies it obviously) but the situation has now moved on with her accusations, thus pre-empting us in my opinion

Davesnave

NFH? Really? Have there been previous incidents and what is your relationship with the neighbour normally like?

Arguments like this are not in either of your interests, since the law now requires all neighbour disputes to be disclosed when selling a property. For that reason, tea and cake are the best weapons for resolving a situation which has got out of hand.

If it's at all possible, invite the neighbour round and ask her to explain to you what her grievances are. Don't involve yourself in irrelevant side issues, like the children in the land-bank area or their status on a work site.

By all means tell the neighbour you suspected her workman had taken some of your rockery stone, but make it crystal clear that you are not accusing her of anything. You are both innocent parties and it isn't right for you to be falling-out. If she thinks your husband was OTT in his approach, then apologise. Apologies cost nothing and often open closed doors.

Beforehand, ring the police on 101 and get them to log yesterdays dispute. You won't lose any face if you say it's the workman rather than the neighbour whom you suspect of theft, and accept that stones are a hard item to prove ownership of.

While the police won't want to be involved in a minor dispute like this, or take sides, if you ask for their advice they may send a PCSO to visit both of you. This could be useful if you are unable to speak directly with your neighbour in a calm way, but tea and cake is best.

teneighty

Just for those other dinosaurs out there who don't do text speak, "NFH" apparently means "neighbour from hell". Good old Google.

Otherwise I concur with Dave. Good advice.

PasturesNew

You really have only two concerns here:

1] Did you nick my stones you thieving scallywag? The police deal with theft.
2] Whether the Health & Safety people would be interested in the equipment being used.

He can, within a family business, employ his children willy nilly. So the best focus of that bit is in usage of equipment being appropriate to a particular industry. And H&S probably have more clout and get to grips with the facts/issues involved more quickly than Social Services ever could do. SS would just visit, tick some forms and leave.