Would you stop?

Guest101

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3535232/Only-21-people-thousands-stop-help-lost-children-foster-care-social-experiment.html


This was Australia, but obviously children get lost everywhere. I know that we would like to stop, but would you, and if not, why not?


Just interesting to see how people feel.


Personally I would stop and check. If there's no immediate customer service area, I'd just call 101 and let them know.


Obviously you don't want to lead the child away in case the parent is looking for them in that area, but equally you want to know that some form of help is on the way.

Alikay

Of course I'd stop and help - we all have a duty to keep children safe. If I was with DH, I'd stay with the child and send him to get help from security or centre management; if I was alone I'd stop someone else and send them to get help while I stayed with the child and reassured them.

It's not particularly difficult to find a way of helping the child without incriminating yourself.

Guest101

Alikay wrote: »

Of course I'd stop and help - we all have a duty to keep children safe. If I was with DH, I'd stay with the child and send him to get help from security or centre management; if I was alone I'd stop someone else and send them to get help.

It's not particularly difficult to find a way of helping the child without incriminating yourself.

I agree, I was just interested as so many people seemed to walk on by.


I've stopped before you help and would do again. I just wondered why some people wouldn't.

lisa110rry

Yes, certainly I would stop to help (have done so in the past, in Britain), but I'm female and have Disclosure for working with children.

gabriel1980

I would never stop to help a child in case I get labelled a !!!!!

Guest101

lisa110rry wrote: »

Yes, certainly I would stop to help (have done so in the past, in Britain), but I'm female and have Disclosure for working with children.

Actually I do have to say, in my job I have the same and that does help.

Alikay

gabriel1980 wrote: »

I would never stop to help a child in case I get labelled a !!!!!

That's a shame - have you thought about ways of helping that minimise the risk of that happening to you?

Taking a just a couple of paces toward a more open area (so you're not stood in a dark corner with a child)
Getting a female passer-by, ideally with children, to wait with you
Purposeful stance and speaking clearly so you don't appear to have sidled up to a child and whispered to them
Even if it's a deserted area, you can use your phone, both by summoning help and recording conversation.

Admittedly, I've done training in this type of thing through fostering and other organisations I've worked and volunteered for, but there are usually simple ways to help protect yourself.

thorsoak

I would stop and try to help - if on my own, I would ask someone else nearby to find Security whilst I stayed with the child. Once upon a time, I would have picked the child up (if it was a small child) to see if s/he could spot Mum or Dad in the crowd whilst taking her/him to Security myself. Now, I wouldn't move the child, but would stay with him/her until Security arrived.

We all have a responsibility to ensure that children stay safe.

TBagpuss

I think that probably the reasons why more people didn't stop would include
- not noticing the child (as a lost child, rather than one who was just a little distance from paretns)
- fear - a lot of parents are hugely over protective and agressive. I probably would stop to try to help, but I understand why people don't. I had a situation a couple of years ago when I saw a young and clearly distressed child in a pedestrian precinct in a local town. I'd say the child was probably around 6 or 7. I squatted down to speak to her to ask if she was lost and her (presumably) mother came rushing out of a sjhop screaming abuse and telling me to "get the f**k away from her child". It left me really shaken. I was fortunatelin that several people spoke up to say that the child looked lost and to confirm that I had simply asked her where her mum or dad was (which she didn't know, incidentally)
I'm a woman, and this was in a busy, open area. And at the time I had a recent CRB check throgh my job.

I think that if I came across a simialr situation my first reaction would be to look to see whether there was a police officer or security officer anywhere clsoe by, and to ask them to speak to the child, but I think, and hope, that I would still speak to the child myself if there wasn't someone more 'offical' who I could contact.

I completely understand why many people, and men in particular would not feel able to do so. I remember speaking to a (male) collegaue of mine. He described having seen a lost child in his local town and feelin that he could not speak to the child for fear of havign allegations made against him, he actually called his partner on her mobile to ask her to come out of the shop she was in (he was on his way to met her there) and in the mean time he tried to keep the child in view without appraching. He did say that if the child had looked as if he was in immediate danger then he would have intervened, but he didn't feel he could approach or speak, and said he felt a bit uncomfortable waiting in case anyone noticed that he was watching the child - he said he consdered callin the polie to notify them so that if he did approach, and was accused of anything, he could show that he'd already called the police..

rhino_horn

Yes I have stopped, as a little boy was crying. I asked him if he was ok and he said he was lost. This was on Brighton beach - in the summer. Loads of people around, no one else had spoken to him.

I looked around for a police person - could see no one. My husband asked the little boy his mum's name and then went searching. He tried down by the sea first - thought that would be the obvious place that a parent would look first.

Fortunately very quickly he saw the dad frantically looking. He asked the dad what his wife's name was as an extra check and then brought him back to me and the little boy.

Guest101

I agree with the call to 101 just to notify them of the situation. - I wouldn't say it's a must, but if anyone feels uncomfortable without it, then fair enough.


I have to say, a few years back I was in a car park after just leaving a supermarket.


Car next to me had 3 children in it, aged between 5-8 approximately.


Parent (or whoever) had clearly gone into the shop, and they may have only been a few minutes but the car park is fairly open and there's a reasonable chance of the kids messing with parking brake etc.


I approached the store security guard, who's initial response was and I quote 'well what do you want me to do about it'.


I simply replied that the store (it was a private store car park) had a reasonable duty of care and he should attempt to contact the relevant person via the store PA system and in the meantime he should ensure the childrens safety as best as he could.


Lightbulb moment for him I think - he immediately apologised and said he totally didn't grasp what I had initially said. He watched the children from outside whilst a colleague found the parent (presumably - I left once he was there)