Maintenance Payments

Person_one

Are you on good terms with your ex? Can you get together and discuss maybe tapering it down over a few years (or whatever timescale you're comfortable with) or reducing it to a lower amount and then re-assessing in x number of years?

I think its admirable that you aren't just counting down to the day you can stop supporting your family as so many men do. It can be difficult managing a sudden drop in income, even if you know its coming well in advance.

whitewing

Why don't you give her a clean break lump sum. That way you sever the financial relationship, which is freedom for both of you. I think future partners either side could have discomfort about it being ongoing. I definitely would.

whitewing

(Part of the reason I made my comments in my post above is due to a slightly different reason. I recently have known of 2 situations where widowed adults would love to get married but have decided they can't as pensions of their current partners would be reduced).

theoretica

If your former wife is still housing the children (and not downsizing or taking in lodgers so they no longer have rooms with her) she will still have child related expenses. You could give money for living expenses to your children and make it clear they are expected to pay their way when with her.

justme111

So you have a document stating it ends but questioning it as you think it usually does not end? And you say you live on the same planet ?
In response to your question yes it would be weird to pay your ex maintenance just because you want to. Very weird.

Mupette

I think i would favour the lump sum, if you decide to have a relationship and your partner found out you were still paying money to the ex wife for her not the kids this could be awkward.

If she is ok for money and stopping isn't going to effect the children in anyway then i think once your youngest has left school, its time to cut the financial ties to the ex wife.

Continuing to support your child/children is great, most dads stop as soon as CSA say they can, forgetting that this is still their child just an adult one, and if they were still in the marriage would they stop giving money to their child/children?

Are you emotionally wanting to keep the link with the ex wife for any reason (are you still in love and want a reconciliation?)

justme111

How inconsiderate of them. Instead of giving money to ex to use as they see fit they prefer to keep it to use it as they themselves see fit. How strange.

gettingtheresometime

Mupette wrote: »

Are you emotionally wanting to keep the link with the ex wife for any reason (are you still in love and want a reconciliation?)

I was going to ask if the OP still felt guilty at the breakup

pigpen

calleyw wrote: »

So what if either of you re-marry or co-habit?

spousal maintenance usually stops if the recipient remarries.

burlington6

If you're considering supporting your wife you're acting like a mug.

Support you child, tell her to support herself.