I don't want to be a nurse any more, feel like im sinking into being depressed.. help

Legacy_user

Sorry I've never posted here before, but I need some advice...

I've been a nurse for nearly five years... I have had enough. I can't do my job any more, the constant asking for us to do extra, I've cut my hours already due to feeling so stressed and not wanting to go into work, its not fair on my colleagues or the patients, the managers ask and ask and dont do any themselves. I feel like I'm not liked cos im outspoken and too junior to really get away with that, but I cant do it any more... I called in sick friday and dont want to go back. They are still texting me, asking me to work. I have had so many arguments even my phone going off is making me anxious. That's my fault, I know!

I used to be on strong medications for depression (anti psychotics etc) and managed to give up all those since doing nursing, I was so proud. But now, my relationship has ended last week, my job will be no more (I'm sure they will get rid of me whenever they can find a reason) and I dont see anything in life I have any enthusiasm for?

I am panicking that I'm getting old, have achieved nothing and have no savings.. only three years of an NHS pension and I'm worried daily about what I'll live on when I'm a pensioner.

I wanted to do law or help people in a non bedside-role, I have done support work and have other qualifications, but everyone just wants to offer nursing roles. I know people have much worse lives and problems than this, but I'm feeling so numb, like everything is going in slow motion, I don't want to eat or so anything and I know what to do.

It panics me that Im 30 and have £900 savings and 4k debt! I am panicking. Please can anyone give me some advice?

DCFC79

Turn your phone off when not at work or get a second number and use it a means of contact for the employer.

You have 4k of debt but it's not too bad as long as it doesn't get bigger.

What else would you like to do besides law and help others in a non bedside role ?

System

Thanks for your reply..I did office work for years, and I did start the LLB but didn't complete it.. my sister said dont get into any more debt to study anything else.. so the legal course i wanted is £1,700, not a good idea to take out a loan?

Solus

Hello Summery

I wouldn't advise on going for another loan as I presume the increased debt will pile on more stress on you.

I'd recommend sorting out your employment first as you'll need to maintain a constant level of income to repay your existing loan. Would you be able to speak to HR or anything to discuss your current situation?

You could look for another job for the time being doing office work , maybe related to law or any role within a law firm.

I think what you need to do is speak to someone and draw up a plan to get yourself back on track.

Cut down on any unnecessary spending.

Eat! Nothing worse than not looking after your health. You can't do anything if you're not well. You're still young and have a lot of time to turn this around.

savingwannabe

Hello summery you must ring your GP on Monday and tell him how you are feeling. They will sort out your medication so you feel more stable and will give you a sicknote as you are not well enough to cope with work.

Once this has been done you will be able to recover, this will take time and then think through your options. There will be a way forward and many other things you can do.

Do you have any friends or family you can talk to? If you can ring them and ask them to visit you. If you feel like you can't talk to anyone you should ring the Samaritans on 116123. They are very good and will help you to think through your options.

I hope you feel better soon. Always remember you can post on here and you are not alone.

diamonds

Has the end of a relationship on top of the work stress just pushed you over the edge ?


Tell a work collegue you trust to tell work you are going to see your GP next week and until then you will be off sick and it may be you do not return to work after the GP so best they are aware they may be short staffed further.



Congrats on knowing you need change instead of like most brits continuing to complain but doing nothing proactive.


Sounds like from all your experience/qualifications a manager of a nursing home may be a good non-bed job, it is also better paid than a NHS nurse but still a essential support service.

A care home company would love your medical qualification and the rest of your experience/qualifications as it would cut the need for a few less high cost full time professional staff and give you more qualified part time staff and office support staff to delegate during office hours when you are present.


Keep your head high, you are doing the right thing by removing stress from your life

Flobberchops

To echo the above, try to get a doctors note ASAP to get yourself signed off work. Sounds like you could make a convincing case for stress or perhaps depression. If you can get a few weeks or a month's paid leave you'll be in a much stronger position than if you just call them Monday morning and tell them where they can stick their job.

If you do become unemployed contact your debtors to explain the change in circumstances and see if you can work out a longer term of repayment at a lower rate.

See the Debt Free forum for more advice on that front.

Try to figure out something you'd rather do, or just take a stab in the dark. It's often not the sector that makes or breaks a job, it's the atmosphere and the co-workers. Life's too short to suffer along in a place you can't stand, and please be assured that 30 isn't anywhere near "too old" to switch jobs. Good luck

Rich2808

Are you a fully qualified nurse now?

Because is it really nursing you hate or just the stress of working as a nurse in our overcrowded and over stretched NHS.

You are 30 - could you not emigrate and do nursing in a country where the pay is better or the work less stressful like the Middle East, Australia or NZ.

Is there anything keeping you here? Cos frankly life is too short to miserable - and the NHS is making you miserable.

[Deleted User]

Sorry to hear things are getting you down so badly. You certainly have not "achieved nothing". You've achieved a qualification in a very demanding profession and have worked as a nurse for 5 years. Very, very many people could never achieve that in ten lifetimes. You are only 30. You are still young. You could start again in a different career, or maybe take a break from nursing to gain a fresh perspective on it. It sounds like you're current work environment is toxic. Don't do anything major (like giving up your job) while you are feeling so depressed. A break is necessary to reassess and recover your equilibrium. All the very best of luck.

cheesetoast

summery1984 wrote: »

I can't do my job any more, the constant asking for us to do extra

summery1984 wrote: »

the managers ask and ask

summery1984 wrote: »

They are still texting me, asking me to work.

Bear in mind that quite a few NHS employers use auto-text systems to seek out staff cover, which text everyone, but can appear to be sent just to one person, for example:

"Hi, can you work tomorrow? Text back"

rather than:

"Work Alert: If you are available to work a shift tomorrow, please call your line manager."

In any event, let them ask. And ask. And ask. If you're the one that always says "yes", you'll keep getting asked. If you keep saying "no", and doing only your allotted shifts, you might stop getting asked.

System

Hi,

thank you so much for all the replies, it has meant a lot! I am a qualified nurse yes rich2008, but after only five years to want to leave... I guess just disappointed in myself. (I was directionless and depressed for a long time in my twenties.) I have thought about going abroad, but not right now because my mum had a mental breakdown a while ago and lost her job, and my little brother is only 19, (my sister lives abroad) so I need to be around..

It's often not the sector that makes or breaks a job, it's the atmosphere and the co-workers
Thanks flobberchops, this is what my sister said.. it made me rationalise things a bit, it was good advice. when you feel crap you dont think rationally. My impulse is to run, i almost left work in the middle of the day last week, but was persuaded not to luckily. I will see if i can try another field or private hospital or something, anything different..

Diamonds yes, it did... that was the final straw, to be honest... We just signed another years tenancy agreement too. I'm from London and would go back and get a room in a houseshare where my friends are if we hadnt just signed that... so i am a bit stuck where I am.

Hattie yes i wont, i wont quit yet although I felt like it so so much the last few days.. I dont want to be unemployed, but this sickness wont help getting another job.

Thanks all of you for the kind replies, feel a bit better with some options. I used to love bedside care, but now when i do ward work with an agency i dont feel i can give it properly, theres no induction, some shifts i have not been spoken to by a single other nurse, just ignored. The wards are horrendous, i just can't see myself doing that any more.

I will let me GP know, I will call... Perhaps Ill see if i can get some experience in another field. Maybe nursing home nurse might actually be okay..

My debts are credit card, £2,200, and overdraft, £2,300 and a student loan of about 11k something like that. I dont have any other loans or cards.. Are these bad? i read something on here about there is no point having savings if u have debts, is that true? That made me feel like its pointless trying to save at all... Which should i pay off first?