Haverfordwest

Davesnave

mumps wrote: »

We moved from a big city to a more rural area when the children were young. I found a good job and we have loved it but two never came back here after uni, one has come back but is moving to a city in the next few months. It is going to feel lonely with only one of my 4 left in the area and even he is starting to look at jobs further away. It is a real downside.

There's no guarantee the kids would have 'come back' if you'd been in a city.

When children go off to uni, they start a random process which can take them in a completely different direction from their parents, physically and psychologically.

From what I know, I'd say you're lucky if they're all still in the UK!

mumps

Davesnave wrote: »

There's no guarantee the kids would have 'come back' if you'd been in a city.

When children go off to uni, they start a random process which can take them in a completely different direction from their parents, physically and psychologically.

From what I know, I'd say you're lucky if they're all still in the UK!

Perhaps. My two eldest went to school in the city I come from, they went to the same grammar school and had a crowd of friends they both knew. One of them is in Australia, one lives just outside the city boundary and the others are all still living in the same city. One of mine is there and one is thinking of going back.

My younger two went to grammar school where we are now, not one of their school friends have come back. They are all still in England. My daughter is here now and she will be gone by summer. There just aren't the opportunities here. My DD is a teacher so an appropriate graduate job for her here but her partner can't get anything locally so has moved to a big city and has a great job and she is going to follow him. It isn't the nearest city to us but is the nearest big city and many of their school friends are there. I'm afraid there are no guarantees but I think the chances of kids coming back from uni to areas like mine or the area the OP is looking at are actually really small.

Dan-Dan

All good points and interesting to read

Our two are 4 and 6 , and even at that age i worry that moving them from what they know is going to cause some upset

Had serious cold feet jitters last night, havent slept a wink,its the job thing that worrys me most

DaftyDuck

Children will adapt, and will benefit from sensible lifestyle changes - I speak from experience, having been a child once, apparently.

You seem to have set on a location, and then realised that work might not present itself, and that'd be a disaster. Have you and wife sat down with pen & paper, an old fashioned road atlas, and a cup of coffee (laced with whisky as needed) and written lists of what you'd like to achieve/where you'd like to be in five or ten years? How do you both best go about achieving these goals? It's a sensible time in your life to be making changes; family has formed, and children are still flexible, but old enough to cope; there's a while yet before exam stresses control your every move, and monetary outgoing is probably fairly stable for the while.

I'd get together with Anne-Anne ( :kisses3: ), and work out what you really want - each, together, for the kids. Any major change in lifestyle/location such as you are considering is fraught with difficulty, as you are realising. That does not equate with not worth doing.

There are areas of the UK with reasonable employment opportunities, low cost of living, high quality of life. Maybe consider a career change, if that'd bring easier relocation? Obviously, different folks will look for different features, so there's no one "best area". But, I feel, far too few people take a long, hard long-term look at where they, as a family, want to be in ten or twenty years. You are, it seems, trying to do the very best for your family, and should be able to sleep all the better for so trying.

Davesnave

Dan-Dan wrote: »

All good points and interesting to read

Our two are 4 and 6 , and even at that age i worry that moving them from what they know is going to cause some upset

No one reaches their full potential by jogging along comfortably. That applies to kids as much as adults.

Like Dafty, I had more than a fair share of lifestyle changes as a kid, some quite traumatic, but I emerged at t'other end a more rounded individual.

Would I have changed any of it? Well, maybe the tiny Dorset primary school, where the kids' family trees went back to the days when they were all living in them....

But on the whole, no!

tooldle

I'm in Swansea. The welsh job market is definitely more bouyant to the east of the country. A previous poster mentioned Gower. As beautiful as this part of the world is, your budget would get you next to nothing. Have you considered places between Carmarthen and Llanelli?
On the language front, your kids wil have to learn Welsh. It is compulsory up to GCSE level.
I'm on the west side of swansea, and a short walk from the bay. Can see the sea from my windows. Lots of lovely green open space. Although a city, it is small by English standards. Might be a halfway house for you?

mark5

tooldle wrote: »

I'm in Swansea. The welsh job market is definitely more bouyant to the east of the country. A previous poster mentioned Gower. As beautiful as this part of the world is, your budget would get you next to nothing. Have you considered places between Carmarthen and Llanelli?
On the language front, your kids wil have to learn Welsh. It is compulsory up to GCSE level.
I'm on the west side of swansea, and a short walk from the bay. Can see the sea from my windows. Lots of lovely green open space. Although a city, it is small by English standards. Might be a halfway house for you?

My Welsh lessons were 30 minutes per week and a joke.

I mentioned Llangennech, Gowerton etc as you can can get houses for op's budget money and be close to the gower, I didn't recommend moving to the gower itself.

Rain_Shadow

Dan-Dan wrote: »

All good points and interesting to read

Our two are 4 and 6 , and even at that age i worry that moving them from what they know is going to cause some upset

Had serious cold feet jitters last night, havent slept a wink,its the job thing that worrys me most

We moved from Warrington to the New Forest when ours were 9 and 11. Took them all of a day to adapt.

Dan-Dan

DaftyDuck wrote: »

Children will adapt, and will benefit from sensible lifestyle changes - I speak from experience, having been a child once, apparently.

You seem to have set on a location, and then realised that work might not present itself, and that'd be a disaster. Have you and wife sat down with pen & paper, an old fashioned road atlas, and a cup of coffee (laced with whisky as needed) and written lists of what you'd like to achieve/where you'd like to be in five or ten years? How do you both best go about achieving these goals? It's a sensible time in your life to be making changes; family has formed, and children are still flexible, but old enough to cope; there's a while yet before exam stresses control your every move, and monetary outgoing is probably fairly stable for the while.

I'd get together with Anne-Anne ( :kisses3: ), and work out what you really want - each, together, for the kids. Any major change in lifestyle/location such as you are considering is fraught with difficulty, as you are realising. That does not equate with not worth doing.

There are areas of the UK with reasonable employment opportunities, low cost of living, high quality of life. Maybe consider a career change, if that'd bring easier relocation? Obviously, different folks will look for different features, so there's no one "best area". But, I feel, far too few people take a long, hard long-term look at where they, as a family, want to be in ten or twenty years. You are, it seems, trying to do the very best for your family, and should be able to sleep all the better for so trying.

We like to think that we are doing something that mid to long term will benefit us and the children, i dont have any pre-conceived ideas about any areas of the UK but there is a desire within to make it Wales as opposed to other areas, though you make a very good point Dafty regards a map (and the whisky!)


You start to realise how seriously your taking it when your wife starts falling for a property next to a farm, and doesnt even mind that its next to a (for Wales) a major trunk road, i did some digging and without going into too many details i think its got too many possible negatives for us to consider, thought the price is achievable, just for interests sake this is the one we enquired about

http://www.westwalesproperties.co.uk/property-for-sale/Haverfordwest/11494290/

We dont agree on this one, my wife thinks it would be perfect for chickens and the dogs but i worry about mine shafts and heavy traffic with no way to escape on foot, so when you dont agree you start withdrawing back to what you know, i.e reasonable wage and the security that brings and the area we live now, and feel like you were just following a crazy dream

DaftyDuck

You can afford to be fussy, really fussy, and get it near 100% right. I understand the reticence and playing safe and, if I'm honest with myself, the extent to which I've (over)done it through my life has greatly restricted what I have done, and not for the good either. I would say that, especially with any life-changing project like this, having absolute and complete unanimity (between the consenting adults, at least) on where, when and how is essential. Vital, even. Things will go wrong, and if they pull you two apart, rather than push you together, when they do, that adds to the stress.

You two are obviously planning this for a long-term future, partly for the kids, so putting a few months into a search is certainly worthwhile. There are several websites and agencies that specialise in rural retreat and smallholding and, if you can cope with not being entirely mortgage-free, your budget will get some pretty decent properties over in Wales. I'm no expert on that area, sadly.

Mind you, on the make a lifestyle change... Did that five months ago... said I'd never, ever buy a house at risk of flooding, and have retreated to a hobby farm in Norfolk, where I spent much of the winter watching the flood waters rise... and rise.. Still have dry toes though, and no regrets!

Well, one. We were going to do this ten years ago, when I was 40. We wimped out. In hindsight, delaying doing it was the only mistake.