A d or c/card which I can give my student son?

pantaiema

In his age I woud not bother to support him. Keep in mind he could always get a student loan.

TheDevineComedy wrote: »

Hello

I wonder if anyone can give me some guidance as my son is in his first year at university in the south-east of England and I seem to be paying for his lack of fiscal nouse and accountability.

In short, he's always lived with his mother, I have never lived with them, he is now University, and I get begging emails, polite and pleasant as they are, that is all they are. I do not see him, nor have done in years - regardless of 10yrs of Families Court judgements.

I have two concerns bothering me, perhaps unnecessarily, one is that at Christmas he went off to Amsterdam with some mates (marijuana?), and he has a part-time job in a betting shop.

He has ceased all his football training & competitive matches, judo and gym work too, which is a worry.

His mother was a pot-head at Uni she once confided in me, many years ago.

I have put my hand in my pocket probably a dozen times since September, possibly to the tune of £2500 thus far.

Giving this scenario, and the fact that his mother and I do not have any lines of communication, is there a prepaid card or debit card or credit card whereby I can receive a bank statement?

Is the one available for example without a PIN such that he cannot take out cash from a hole in the wall?

In effect I want to make sure that he is spending any money I might give him on suitable items, be that food, books, cinema tickets etc.

I would appreciate any advice anyone here might give me - aside from communicating with his mother (I would never receive a reply, trust me on this) as I appreciate he might well be playing both sides of the fence - and thank you in anticipation.

Andypandyboy

CLAPTON wrote: »

maybe you might try to arrange to meet and discuss his finances
without knowing how much his income is and the cost of his accommodation and what other essential spending he has its difficult to say what his 'needs' are.
simply giving him money is clearly not the answer
with my own I sat down with them and discussed their student loans and what I was willing to give (monthly) and drew up a budget after deducting accommodation etc cost so they clearly new how much they had to spend each month. Also discussed whether they wanted to travel during the summer etc and if so they needed to work and/or save to fund that.

it worked out OK : I was amased how interested they became in the price of food and the good deals you could get by shopping in a evening

Yes, it is amazing how Tesco value noodles at 9p suddenly beome appealing!:rotfl: Also shopping aroud 10pm when the mark downs happen.

[Deleted User]

Given the history of no contact etc OP I personally wouldn't give him a penny.

chuckley

he's over 18 and more importantly away at uni. Therefore he can 100% support himself.

if you've not really raised him or supported him financially during childhood, you certainly shouldn't now.

He is using emotional blackmail on you, pure and simple.

System

You can either send him the money or not - either way, it's up to him what he spends his money on. If you are going to resent it, I wouldn't bother.

He might just be hapless with money, I know I had flatmates at Uni like that and they weren't on drugs or anything else.

One trip to Amsterdam doesn't mean anything; it was probably cheaper than going somewhere in the UK even with "smokes" added in.

TheDevineComedy

What a pathetic lot you turned out to be.

I'll check out the Pocket pre paid, thanks for that.

I give you a little back story so you have background of the circumstances and almost to a man / woman you cast you personal opinions when none were asked for. I did not, nor am I asking for your opinions, yet you all felt it was your place to deliver attempts at your own personal polemics, failing to a person to actually read the question and answer the damn question.

At no stage did I ask you how you feel personally or recount your experiences from some far-flung city or your attitude to helping a son.

I point of fact, I specifically asked for advice on a pre paid, card debit / credit card at no point did I ask for you to recount or tell me of your social / econonic attitudes, having children, seeing said children etc; and yet you all felt, sentence after sentence, paragraph after paragraph, like a herd of sheep, you collectively felt it was somehow your place to superimpose your own class attitudes, opinions, and petty nonsense upon another's scenario, when you're failing spectacularity to answer the one, simple question.

A completely useless set of answers, well done.

Hang your collective heads in shame.

LuSiVe

If all you needed was the answer to the question why provide the backstory? You asked for advice, you got it.

jde-tv

TheDevineComedy wrote: »

What a pathetic lot you turned out to be.

I'll check out the Pocket pre paid, thanks for that.

I give you a little back story so you have background of the circumstances and almost to a man / woman you cast you personal opinions when none were asked for. I did not, nor am I asking for your opinions, yet you all felt it was your place to deliver attempts at your own personal polemics, failing to a person to actually read the question and answer the damn question.

At no stage did I ask you how you feel personally or recount your experiences from some far-flung city or your attitude to helping a son.

I point of fact, I specifically asked for advice on a pre paid, card debit / credit card at no point did I ask for you to recount or tell me of your social / econonic attitudes, having children, seeing said children etc; and yet you all felt, sentence after sentence, paragraph after paragraph, like a herd of sheep, you collectively felt it was somehow your place to superimpose your own class attitudes, opinions, and petty nonsense upon another's scenario, when you're failing spectacularity to answer the one, simple question.

A completely useless set of answers, well done.

Hang your collective heads in shame.

If you don't wont peoples opinions then you shouldn't have given any back story at all :rotfl:

PS. I agree with everyone else who has commented, maybe you should listen to their advice and save yourself some money!

agrinnall

TheDevineComedy wrote: »

A completely useless set of answers, well done.

Hang your collective heads in shame.

The usual type of answer when posters haven't told you what you want to hear. Why not just tell us the required answer, that way nobody has to bother wasting any time on considering the actual issues?

Andypandyboy

You should just have googled the answer.....that way your toys would still be in the pram.