should I let near bankrupt move in?

Adrasteia01

One way or another he needs to learn to take responsibility for his actions.
Isn't it fraud to borrow money when you have no intention of paying it back?

I think it would be wise to expect him to take responsibility for his actions and sort them out before letting him move in.

I would be very wary of anyone who runs from their debts. It reminds me of a flatmate we had here.. he ran up 2 grand (euros) of phone calls while my husband and I were away in Australia getting married, and when we got back we found the bills and he took off out the country. Just be careful. That's not to say he would ever do the wrong thing by you like that, but if he runs from credit card companies, what's to say he won't also run from people he owes money to?

ZTD

Running up debts to the hilt and thinking you will get away with not paying is a very short-term view of life.

A long term relationship is incompatible with a short-term view of life.

Jacks_xxx

Broken_hearted wrote: »

Joint credit with anyone with bad credit can damage you credit rating yes but you can't be chased for a debt you OH run up unless your name is on it.

Really??? Well I never. I thought it was a case of "what's yours is mine" - debts included.

When a friend of mine's wife ran off abroad with her personal trainer, he went though hell paying off all her debts...
I'd better not tell him he didn't have to. :eek:

Thanks for that cherub. It's what I love about this place - it's educational!

Love Jacks xxx

silvercar

You will always be wondering whether he wants to move in to take your relationship on a stage or because it is time to find a new address.

Jenna

Hey,

Everyone else has said what I was going to say already ... don't do it!

I've lent money to my OH (to the tune of several thousand £'s) and 3 years on, have only seen a few hundred come back to me. There's that old cliche 'never mix money with relationships' and although I decided to lend him it, I now wish I hadn't.

It puts a whole other level to your relationship and whenever he goes out and spends money on what you consider to be 'frivolous' things, you'll be quietly seething away because you need the money for the bills and aren't getting it.

Also, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES marry him whilst he owes money - as I understand it, you'll then be jointly liable for his debt!!!! :eek:

There isn't technically anything wrong with meeting up with him and staying as bf/gf ... but eventually you'll surely want something more than this from your relationship? Of course, being bad with money isn't a sin, but the fact he's running from it is a very bad sign ... a man who can't commit to paying the phone bill each month isn't a man who can commit to you!! ... tell him you'll help him budget etc to get things under control, or even put him in touch with the CAB or a debt counselling organisation ...

Just my thoughts anyway - do what you feel is right, or what you'd tell your best friend to do!

natwill_3

thanks everyone, i need to get to grips with all this xx

RAS

Jenna wrote: »

Also, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES marry him whilst he owes money - as I understand it, you'll then be jointly liable for his debt!!!! :eek:

No that is not correct.

If you marry someone but do not have ANY joint accounts (including a joint mortgage), you are NOT liable for their debts.

If you are NOT married but have joint debts, you ARE liable for those debts if they do a runner, as far too many people here have discovered.

Natwill's additional problem is that in some circumstances, even if your partner/spouse's name is not on the title deeds, the OR can decide that the other party going BK has a Beneficial Interest in the property, which means that they want the property re-mortgaging to release some equity to pay the creditors. So if BF contributes to the mortgage, in time he could acquire a Beneficial Interest.

So Natwill needs some really good advice if she decides to let him live in the house.