Moved house and totally lost

mothernerd

You have your bed, you have curtains up at the windows (so you can be private and hide the mess if you feel the need to). Locate kettle and or wine. Cook whatever comes to hand, have a sandwich if you can't think. As others have said, stop beating yourself up and breathe.


I do sympathise. I have spent the last five weeks downsizing my mother from her partner's small terraced house (he collapsed in the bathroom so missed all the moving as he was in hospital) to a tiny bungalow. Timing was not of my choosing as the bungalow only has a bath, which neither of them can use.


They needed to lose at least 3 rooms worth of stuff. Partner is an inveterate hoarder and mum has not accepted the changes in her physical ability over the last five years - so continued to buy baking stuff she fancied (she has made nearly all the family wedding cakes for the past 60 years, I've been helping for 54 of them) even when she has been reliant on ready meals and someone else doing her housework.


Five weeks ago most of the large furniture went in a van. Mum went by car. Since then I have been writing lists of stuff, consulting mum and then taking it to the charity shops or bungalow (some was packed, labelled and transported by others as I have no car). Her partner's children insisted that we did not touch or throw out any of their father's thing (they soon learned) but have seemed quite ready to throw away our things, so I have made many hasty rescue operations.


However, apart from a few garden pots, it is done. Now I have to address the problems of my own poor neglected home in between visits to the bungalow to do the diy jobs that need doing.


Good luck

DigForVictory

Get everything into the "right room" if possible, but into one dropzone whilst you clean the receiving room if necessary.

Only try to stay on top of One room at a time. A bedroom, ideally en-suite. The kitchen need not be in-law worthy, just clean enough!

Get other rooms clean in so far as is reasonable - if you're expecting builders, plumbers, sparkies etc, make sure you have a cheap kettle & a working way of keeping milk cold (and a slowly leaking bucket of cold water does the job.)

Keep things that must be kept clean wrapped - suit hangers & so on can be bought at pound shops & I kept the tights, shoes, & necklace in a carrier bag hung on the same hanger so my work kit was always on one place & most likely to be clean. Slow to sort at the launderette, but worth the extra minutes in a clean environment so I didn't appear to have dressed in a skip at work.

If you are keeping the kitchen as is, hire someone to come & give it a complete clean for you. (Or when some relative offers you a house gift, ask them for that.) If there will be changes, soon, spare your energy for one area of worksurface, your cooking tools (lidded crate to keep them clean in between usages) and as much as possible into the rubbish bag. Do not unpack the family best china just yet unless you have someone who will throw a hissyfit unless it is seen to be in use. If that person is you, unpack enough for one meal, enjoy it, then pack it again until the kitchen is ready to do it & you full justice. If that person is someone else, hand them the steam cleaner & negotiate china per room of clean windows etc. If that person is a relative/in-law they can hissyfit - you've Just Moved In, for pete's sake.

Do please try to cook & eat one real meal a day. Everything else can be cereal &/or toast &/or takeaway but you'll eat better, get in more fruit & veg & save a bit of money if you insist one one real meal (bonus if it's batch cooked! Triple if it's friend or relative cooked!) Also try to eat at least one meal outside a week - could be a picnic in a nearby park, could be a cafe overlooking new scenery - just get out of the house & start exploring the areas & reward yourself with food.


This is your new home, not a gaol. Give yourself a chance to settle in, appreciate it in different lights & weathers & seasons, and unless visitors are coming to help (& you have a clear list of Things To Do for them), go & see them instead. Change of scene, perspective & the kitchen & loo are their problem...

Enjoy your new place!

greensalad

I'm just hear in solidarity. We moved in 3 weeks ago and I still don't know where half my stuff is. Really need to buckle down!

moneyistooshorttomention

The "light relief" thought (joke at own expense time here) is carefully going through everything before you move and chucking/re-homing. Moving into new place and thinking "I think I've still got rather more possessions than I think I will need for spares for about 20 years (ie as I'm in my 60s)".

Voice of someone who is now thinking "How many teatowels will I need for about 20 years? How many towels will I need for about 20 years?" etc.

Within weeks of moving here - I was re-homing loads of handtowels my mother had passed onto me - as I never use handtowels.

CathA

greensalad wrote: »

I'm just hear in solidarity. We moved in 3 weeks ago and I still don't know where half my stuff is. Really need to buckle down!

We moved 2 years ago, but the house needed completely re-doing; fine enough to live with but needed a freshen up (actually rip out and start again!) and a good clean.

I was looking for something when I found a special scarf I was looking for, but it wasn't the right weather for it. I thought 'Oh I was looking for that' put it somewhere, never found it since!!

We've been shifting stuff from room to room as we're decorating, still got unpacked boxes but they are getting fewer in numbers.

Enjoy the tidy bits, ignore the untidy bits and remember-no-one ever died because the boxes are still packed!

greensalad

CathA wrote: »

Enjoy the tidy bits, ignore the untidy bits and remember-no-one ever died because the boxes are still packed!

Yep! We blitzed several boxes when we moved in, but we've got comfortable now. Things are *ok* even if I'm rotating the same three pairs of pants (handwashing them too!) because I can't find the rest of my underwear

CathA

greensalad wrote: »

Yep! We blitzed several boxes when we moved in, but we've got comfortable now. Things are *ok* even if I'm rotating the same three pairs of pants (handwashing them too!) because I can't find the rest of my underwear

Handwashing! I'd be out buying new pants! X

moneyistooshorttomention

CathA wrote: »

Handwashing! I'd be out buying new pants! X

That's bar a planned change of size possibly?:rotfl:

I've had my next set of knickers sitting waiting patiently in their bags until I've finished losing the weight to fit back into that size...:cool:

greensalad

I actually did have to buy new ones. I had three pairs and then realised I had forgot to handwash ANY of them. I might have come to work commando... eek! And then I used Amazon Prime Now to have a packet of knickers delivered to my office! What a time to be alive.

So now I have six pairs which is plenty really but I am terrible at getting through the washing pile!

CathA

greensalad wrote: »

I actually did have to buy new ones. I had three pairs and then realised I had forgot to handwash ANY of them. I might have come to work commando... eek! And then I used Amazon Prime Now to have a packet of knickers delivered to my office! What a time to be alive.

So now I have six pairs which is plenty really but I am terrible at getting through the washing pile!

Please tell me you didn't open them in front of everyone? Did make me laugh x