In debt but work affecting health

This is my first post and I don't know where to start.

We currently have debts of around £27,000 and are about to start a DMP from April. We live in private rented accommodation and my husband's salary is our main income. My husband has been with the company since leaving school, 30 years ago. The company and his job role has changed dramatically in the last few years and is affecting the health of both of us. He has been trying and trying and trying to get another job and although he comes very close, he has not been successful. Until recently he had only had one single day off due to illness throughout the 30 years. In the last year he has been off twice for work related stress, he now has blood pressure off the scale and is being closely monitored by his GP. This weekend however, he is getting breathless, looks pale and if I'm honest, looks like he could be heading for an imminent heart attack, a break down or both. Im not sure if he's in denial or just has nowhere to turn. I've also had to ask him 3 times to promise me that he won't do anything to harm himself.

I want him to leave his job immediately for his health but we have no savings, no family who can help and we have rent, bills and debts to pay. I don't know where to turn either but has anyone been in a similar situation or have any words of help for us?

Thank you x
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Replies

  • sourcratessourcrates Forumite, Board Guide
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    Hi,


    Can you give us an insight into the work your husband does ?


    Is any help available from them ?


    Can he not take time off, a holiday, I'm sure he must of accrued a few weeks by now ?


    As you rent, you/he, could consider Bankruptcy, if things are that bad, and his health is been affected as badly as you suggest.


    I think some time off to de-stress should be a first option, try to put the debts to one side for now.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File and Ratings, Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. "I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly".
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  • CoolBeans22CoolBeans22 Forumite
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    Thank you for your reply.

    He's in logistics and has talked about things but nothing changes. He is not alone either. Holiday booked but not due yet. prepared to pay debts with a plan but would consider bankruptcy if would help health wise just not sure it would.
  • Will your G.P. sign him off sick?
  • IlonaIlona Forumite
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    Hello.
    Could something have happened at work to cause the stress, which he is not telling you about? Is it a desk job? Could he leave the building and go for a walk in his lunch break. A breathing space might help him to get his thoughts together and calm down. Physical exercise can help counteract the stress.
    Ilona
    I love skip diving.
    :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
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    If you have a long term tenancy and if you can speak to your landlord at any level - do

    Can you get him to the doctor

    Don't resign from work with nothing - it could lead to more misery as I don't know that the jobs market is as great as what is use to be anymore so I'd sit it out or least have the company err on medical grounds

    Could both you perhaps look at part time work? Shoulder the problems together and could get you both new invigoration

    Yep if you have to do bankruptcy do - it's far better then relying on the state permanently, this could be just a blip as we pick the row we wish to sit on x
  • sourcratessourcrates Forumite, Board Guide
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    Thank you for your reply.

    He's in logistics and has talked about things but nothing changes. He is not alone either. Holiday booked but not due yet. prepared to pay debts with a plan but would consider bankruptcy if would help health wise just not sure it would.



    Is he a driver or office based ?


    I have high BP, it was due to stress at work, bad diet, overweight etc, it was 210/105 at its worst !!!!!


    2 years on, 3 tablets a day, healthy diet, bit of exercise, and I admit a less stressful job, its now around 130/85, which is a hugh difference.


    A few simple changes can make such a difference to high BP.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File and Ratings, Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. "I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly".
    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to:
    [email protected].
    Any views expressed are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.
    "I don`t trust Bankers, I don`t trust Banks, and I don`t trust you.........Private Frazer".
    For free debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, CitizensAdviceBureaux.
  • CoolBeans22CoolBeans22 Forumite
    57 Posts
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    Thank you everyone, it has been nice just to talk about it today with you. To answer a few questions - he is not overweight and doesn't normally smoke or drink but the alcohol intake is definitely increasing. He does both office and manual work although he shouldn't be. I'm going to see if our GP can sign him off for a length of time, she has already called him in because of his BP results. I feel slightly less frantic now and a bit more focused.
  • Hi, I think you are correct to go back to the GP and see about some sick leave, but I also think that you need to go in with your husband if he is willing to allow that, or make an appointment yourself to see his GP, as you need to make sure he is telling the GP the whole picture, as people often don't.
    I know it can be tempting to just get him to leave the job as you want this stress behind you, but you have to get into the sick pay system and survive financially or else that will be mega stressful too.


    I also think you need to keep a careful eye on yourself as you mention you are also suffering from the effects of this situation. Do not get lost in your husbands' and financial problems.


    Also, pills are not the only answer. The source of the stress needs to be addressed and if the job situ cannot change, your husband needs some stress relief training organised by the GP.


    Lastly, do ask on this forum any time you need help, however trivial it may seem to you, as the people here are so kind, reassuring and knowledgable and a great comfort in times of trouble.
  • Have you worked out where all the money has gone ? Is there anything that cab be sold to decrease the debt ? Are you managing monthly payments at this point ?
    You say your husbands is your main income - is there anything you can do to up your income ? Will sick pay as opposed to his normal pay make matters worse in the short term and cause him to be more stressed ?
  • sourcratessourcrates Forumite, Board Guide
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    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
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    Thank you everyone, it has been nice just to talk about it today with you. To answer a few questions - he is not overweight and doesn't normally smoke or drink but the alcohol intake is definitely increasing. .



    Fags need to go completely, booze should be limited, but he doesn't need to cut it out completely, obviously the stress needs to be addressed, but as far as diet is concerned, SALT is the main thing to cut down drastically on, its everywhere the little blighter.


    When you have the health concerns addressed, then you can focus more on tackling the debts.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File and Ratings, Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. "I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly".
    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to:
    [email protected].
    Any views expressed are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.
    "I don`t trust Bankers, I don`t trust Banks, and I don`t trust you.........Private Frazer".
    For free debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, CitizensAdviceBureaux.
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