Starting the divorce ,,,,,,,,,,,,

loveasale

Hello there, my ex and I separated in October 2012, I knew he wasn't happy , I tried for a long time to make it work , but sadly our marriage ended .
We have 2 boys 17 & 18 one leaves school this year , the other next year, my ex has paid £400 a month to support them , this will end when they come out of school,.
I still live in marital home ,
Ex lives with gf and her 2 kids
Ex now wants to divorce, I'm happy to do so , he always said I could have equity in house, now he wants half, I can't afford mortgage on my own wage, so will have to either rent , poss get very small flat , but still need to home my boys!
I am happy to move to cheaper area and smaller home!
in 2009 ex remortgaged 17500 to pay for a years wage so he could re-train as an electrician .
My questions are ,,,',,,
Is he entitled to half of equity ,, on price when we split (195000) or house price now (250000)
Also should he be responsable for the money he used to retrain,IE should I take that off his half?
I'd be happy for any advice
We are sort of amicable and would rather sort things out our selves , we have no joint savings, it's really only the property,

FBaby

The main question is whether he continued to pay any part of the mortgage after he moved.

The starting point would be 50/50, but if you paid the full mortgage after he left, that would then increase your entitlement.

As you were married, I don't expect anything that was done during the marriage will be taken into account (equity release, who paid for the deposit etc...).

It's then up to you whether you want to fight for more bringing up consideration such as that you have a lower income because you both agree that you would be a SAHM for instance. There is also the matter of pension, does he have one?

Marktheshark

Sounds like you need to pick up the phone book and call a divorce lawyer.

loveasale

He is always changing his job - his last job was the one he stayed in the longest, 5 years and had pension and lots of benefits but he left just before xmas, before he re trained he was a mortgage advisor,,,,,,, funny that we have a really high (120000) mortgage and its interest only (

missbiggles1

When making your plans you need to consider whether or not your sons will be going away to university (in which case your need to house them will change) or whether they'll be working, in which case you'll have 2 incomes (3 next year) coming into the household.

swingaloo

Another couple of things to throw in the mix

Since your split you have had use of the home whilst your he has probably had to rent so you need to bear that in mind.

Did the course your husband increased the mortgage for have the result of increasing his wage. In other words if he had not done that would your child maintenance have been a lot less per month.

FBaby

funny that we have a really high (120000) mortgage and its interest only (

You mean it's always been interest only? If that the case, all the property was is an investment to you both and it is right he should get at least 50% of it.

justme111

From what you say the house would need to be sold when you divorce and ex's name removed from the mortgage even if he did not want any equity.
If you went through solicitors your ex is unlikely to be given 50% as your earnings are likely lower, his pension is likely higher and he would have spent a good chunk of it on solicitor fees. Specially as he always said he did not want equity he may be worried now you will refuse to consider sharing it and will be very awkward in selling etc. So he may be very happy with let's say 25% of it instead of 50. If not you may gently point out to him that he is unlikely to get much more if he decides to go via courts and may easily get less ( see JackRS's thread)
Question is how much difference will those 25% make to you if you will have to move anyway ..
Good that you have at least a year to plan .
Re children - I understand for you they are "boys" . Once they grown up to 18 when they can drive , vote and get married you are not required to house them though and they are not entitled to a standard of accommodation they are used to. They have what their parents can afford, failing that they live on what they earn. I understand you want the best for them , give them what you can but taking from ex so as to give to children is what I believe is a major source of upset and resentment.

loveasale

It wasn't always on interest only, he said that was right thing to do at the time,, he was after all a mortgage advisor!
Also he never really got any more money after the course,, I do not know his income now, I'm not the sort to ask for more as he earns more ,
I must state I don't want to 'bleed him dry' I just feel 50% is a bit much considering my facts in OP
I would offer 25% or 50% of what the house WAS worth when we split,,,, I'm not an unfair person!

Floxxie

Pop over to the wikivorce site as they have really good articles as well as qualified people assisting people. One thing though, do not use any lawyer associated with the site.

Everything you own as a couple gets put into a pot...so not only the house equity but also any pensions, savings etc. You can't split costs that you incurred as a couple while you were together.

It is about getting a fair split of the assets and as your ex has his housing needs met, it may be you get more of the equity but he keeps more of his pension (for example).

And just be aware that most of us start out amicable but it doesn't always stay that way

justme111

Great. I am sure ex will be very happy with it and helpful in whatever plans you two will have for children