Marrying to avoid house being taken

Mojisola

margaretclare wrote: »

Well, I've heard of some strange reasons for marrying or not marrying, but this has to be the strangest of all.

What happened to love and romance?

I had a relative who had plenty of love and romance without having felt the need to get married. After many years of being together, it was the practical reasons of pension inheritance, etc, that made them book the Register Office.

SmarterNotHarder

Sorry to hijack, I was wondering something of a similar line after a conversation some colleagues were having.

The whole Spouse/Civil partner/Living with someone as a partner is one thing, but one of my colleagues was wondering what would happen to her adult son if he didn't have his own place before she needed care and the house had to pay for it? He is living with her while he pays off his debts (he is paying her board, I don't know if that's relevant).

Would he have to leave the property?

Mojisola

SmarterNotHarder wrote: »

The whole Spouse/Civil partner/Living with someone as a partner is one thing, but one of my colleagues was wondering what would happen to her adult son if he didn't have his own place before she needed care and the house had to pay for it? He is living with her while he pays off his debts (he is paying her board, I don't know if that's relevant).

Would he have to leave the property?

If he is over 60 by the time she needs care or is disabled/in poor health, he may be able to stay there. Otherwise, he will have to find his own place.

The council can set up a deferred payment scheme so that he can take some time to find a new place and sell the house.

Spendless

margaretclare wrote: »

No one can force you to go into a care home, at any stage in your life. You can always say no!

Really? Just over a year ago my Grandmother who has dementia was admitted to hospital. From there she was sent to a rehabilitation centre for about 6 weeks, where they assessed if she was able to go on living alone with carers coming in, like she had before she went into hospital. It was decided she wasn't safe to do so and from there she went into a care home. She has a delusional disorder as well as dementia, and thinks she is more capable than she actually is, saying No she didn't want/need to didn't make any difference, she still went.

Jagraf

margaretclare wrote: »

Well, I've heard of some strange reasons for marrying or not marrying, but this has to be the strangest of all.

What happened to love and romance? We're not long past Valentine's Day which was meant to be all about looooove.

This is the oddest thing I've heard of in a long time. No one can force you to go into a care home, at any stage in your life. You can always say no!

Not being funny but have you been through the scenario ? it is imperative that you think about your later years or it can be an absolutely heartbreaking time - and it really is about love.

margaretclare

Jagraf wrote: »

Not being funny but have you been through the scenario ? it is imperative that you think about your later years or it can be an absolutely heartbreaking time - and it really is about love.

I have every possible reason for thinking about my later years - I can't escape them! DH and I are now in our ninth decade.

We've done a lot of thinking about our later years, that's why we've spent time, money and effort in making our home as convenient and safe as possible. Final thing: mobility-friendly bathroom with walk-in shower, early April.

Yes, I do know that in the event of loss of mental capacity, the situation changes. This is covered by the Mental Health Act https://www.rethink.org/diagnosis-treatment/treatment-and-support/charging-for-residential-care

However, there isn't a malign force out there ready to pounce and make a survivor homeless, as some people seem to think.

And yes, we did marry for love, even though late in life. It has worked out well so far.

Rambosmum

Spendless wrote: »

Really? Just over a year ago my Grandmother who has dementia was admitted to hospital. From there she was sent to a rehabilitation centre for about 6 weeks, where they assessed if she was able to go on living alone with carers coming in, like she had before she went into hospital. It was decided she wasn't safe to do so and from there she went into a care home. She has a delusional disorder as well as dementia, and thinks she is more capable than she actually is, saying No she didn't want/need to didn't make any difference, she still went.

Margaretclare's comment would only apply to people who have capacity, which your grandmother likely didn't from what you have described. When a person doesn't have capacity a decision has to be made 'in their best interest', by either someone with power of attorney or a relevant professional, usually a social worker.

margaretclare

I suppose I was thinking of the people I know, and have known over the years, who insisted on staying in their own home regardless of the difficulties. They said 'no' and that was it.

I am aware of (some of) the provisions of the Mental Health Acts in respect of people like Spendless's grandma.

What always does surprise me when this kind of issue arises, as it frequently does - how to prevent my house from being taken to pay for care - is that people often give more thought to this than to the more obvious one: modernising and making their property convenient, easy-care and mobility-friendly for their later years so that they can stay in it for longer.

I recently had the experience of a 2-night stay in a care of the elderly ward. I was really there to be treated for an infection with IV antibiotics, but I was also interviewed by a social worker - a new experience for me! And by a lady from the memory clinic. Perfectly pleasant, both of them, but it really was a new experience and brought it home to me 'what other people see when they look at me' rather than how I think of myself.

pollypenny

I wish to goodness my aunt would go into a sheltered complex, al least, or a residential home where she may still have some independence.

She is 90, frail and with very poor eyesight. Living as she dies at the other side of the country, she is a real worry to me, but it's very hard to help her.

Her house could pay for her care for years.

izoomzoom

We were encouraged to change the ownership of our house from joint tenants to tenants in common, as this will supposedly protect us from carehome fees, especially if one owner has already died (deceased portion is left to our children via our Wills).