Divorced - moving abroad - children to stay or come along ?

The_Phantom

Does anybody have experience with custody arrangements if resident parent wishes to leave country and move back home ?

I am divorced with shared custody for the children, who are living with me. (Mother).
Father has access to children and can see them when it suits him work wise.
I am not from the UK and would like to return to my home country, how does this work with the custody of the children ?
From what age can they choose whether to stay here or come with me ?
Their father is living with his girlfriend and her children so won't be able to house two additional children.
Who would decide where the children should or would go ? They are both under 16.

balletshoes

you need to contact a family lawyer for this kind of advice.

KRB2725

Were the children born in the UK?

A friend of mine divorced and his wife wanted to move back home with their daughter and could only do it with the Father's consent.

Another friend emigrated, she also needed permission from her child's father to go. He granted it as long as he could stop paying child support.

I don't know if these thing are looked at on a case by case basis, but Fathers permission has been needed in both cases hat I know of.

Are your children old enough to decide for themselves and how easy would it be for them to maintain a relationship with the parent they don't reside with?

TBagpuss

Like other issues relating to children, the over-riding concern is what is in the best interests of the children.

If your ex-husband agrees to you moving abroad with the children then the two of you work out the detail together. If he does not agree, you would need to apply to Court.

A judge would want to know what positive benefits to the children there would be if they were to move to a new country, and would only give permission if satisfied that the benefits outweighed the disadvantage of moving so far away from their father.

The children's own wishes would be considered in light of their ages and level of understanding - if they are teenagers their wishes would be an importnat factor.

In addition to satisfying a court that they would benefit from a move, you would also have to satisfy them that there were suitable arrangements in place for the children's housing, education, medical care, etc, and that you were able to ensure that they would have reasonable levels of contact with their dad after any move, including details of how you propose to fund all of those things.

It is a complex area, and it sounds as though the current position is a positive one, with the children spending plenty of time with both parents.

The fact that the children currently spend more time with you than with their dad does not give you a right to move them overseas.

I recommend that you see an experiences family solicitor for detailed advice.

The_Phantom

Yes, I would certainly have to see a lawyer, just wanted to get a feel of the legal position, sometimes people on these boards have got some sort of experience with things like this.

The children have got dual nationality and hold two passports.
They have got birth certificates from my home country as I registered their birth in my home country as well.

The oldest is almost 16, the youngest 12.
The oldest has expressed a wish to stay in the UK, the younger one would like to come with me.

Their dad is unlikely to give permission.

I intend to return to my home country as that is where my family and friends are and better job and employment opportunities. I am still young enough to start again, but the longer I wait the more difficult it will be to do so.

If the children would prefer to stay here that would be Ok with me, but it would probably not be possible for their dad to house them and take them to school etc due to his work commitments and the fact his girlfriend has a number of children which live with them.

The question that interests me is could he block me from leaving this country ? If he can't have the children himself but won't give permission for them to be with me, I would be more or less kept prisoner in this country ?
Or would the children then have to come with me by default if their dad can't look after them due to having a 'new' family ?

That's what really interests me in this context.

duchy

A court can't stop you leaving the country - but they can stop you taking the kids with you.

Have you spoken to your ex to see if he would like them to live with him in preference to you taking them abroad to live -he might consider having them with him is worth moving house for - for example.

I suppose if you are dead set on moving away and they want to stay in Britain but he can't/won't have him then they'd likely end u in care.

If your sixteen year old is taking GCSEs this year then it'd be very unfair to cause this level of disruption before their exams.

FBaby

Your first step is to speak with your OH, especially if your 16yo won't come with you. If they can't stay with their dad what will they do?

The reality is that your ex will be able to take steps to stop them from leaving the country very easily if he wanted to. In this case, you would need to get the court to grant you to take them with you. It would then be your responsibility to show that doing so would benefit the children, even if indirectly. This would be granted against the wish of the father if you moved because you had no choice but to go, usually in the case of partner in the forces, or being made redundant and showing that you can't support the children in the country, or evidence of real difficulties in the UK that would be resolved if moving somewhere where you would get the support you don't have in the UK. You would normally need to show evidence that your move is well planned, ie. not just moving back and then arranging your life, but that you already have a life planned, ie. know where you are going to live, how you are going to support yourself financially, made arrangements for schools, healthcare (if not free) etc...

This could all end up being quite costly so you really are better off trying to come to an arrangement with your ex. What is the current visitation arrangements? Could you keep them despite your move, currently every other week-end and you are moving to Normandy, so could still facilitate, if not every other week-end at least once a month.

BNT

balletshoes wrote: »

you need to contact a family lawyer for this kind of advice.

I totally agree. You need to talk to your lawyer. Coming to a forum such as this you will get a wide range of opinions. Some might be correct; many won't be. The temptation will be to pick the one you want rather than the one that is correct. Even if you find someone with experience of a similar issue, I am sure there will be differences according to the age of the children, the country involved, etc. Talk to your lawyer; that's what they are for.

TBagpuss

The_Phantom wrote: »

Yes, I would certainly have to see a lawyer, just wanted to get a feel of the legal position, sometimes people on these boards have got some sort of experience with things like this.

The children have got dual nationality and hold two passports.
They have got birth certificates from my home country as I registered their birth in my home country as well.

The oldest is almost 16, the youngest 12.
The oldest has expressed a wish to stay in the UK, the younger one would like to come with me.

Their dad is unlikely to give permission.

I intend to return to my home country as that is where my family and friends are and better job and employment opportunities. I am still young enough to start again, but the longer I wait the more difficult it will be to do so.

If the children would prefer to stay here that would be Ok with me, but it would probably not be possible for their dad to house them and take them to school etc due to his work commitments and the fact his girlfriend has a number of children which live with them.

The question that interests me is could he block me from leaving this country ? If he can't have the children himself but won't give permission for them to be with me, I would be more or less kept prisoner in this country ?
Or would the children then have to come with me by default if their dad can't look after them due to having a 'new' family ?

That's what really interests me in this context.

Your ex cannot stop you from leaving the country, he can however stop you from removing the children from the country.

The fact that they have dual nationality doesn't change anything. No, the children would not have to come with you by default. The default position is that they stay where they are, in this country. If you chose to leave without them then dad would no doubt have to consider how to cope with his responsibilities.

Guest101

The_Phantom wrote: »

Does anybody have experience with custody arrangements if resident parent wishes to leave country and move back home ?

I am divorced with shared custody for the children, who are living with me. (Mother).
Father has access to children and can see them when it suits him work wise.
I am not from the UK and would like to return to my home country, how does this work with the custody of the children ?
From what age can they choose whether to stay here or come with me ?
Their father is living with his girlfriend and her children so won't be able to house two additional children.
Who would decide where the children should or would go ? They are both under 16.

If they are over 10/11 their wishes have great significance, if they decide to stay, you would become liable for child maintenance, which would possibly allow father and family to move to a bigger property?

missbiggles1

Do they speak the language of the country you want to return to?

When is the 15 year old due to take GCSEs?