Hang Back or Push In?

AnnieO1234

I'm slightly confused here, if there is no problem with the family (which wasn't what was suggested above) then what's the problem?

If however there is an issue with certain family members feeling that OP is usurping their position, then it may be better to stay away until there is better direction from the husband or, hopefully, with the friend. xxx

Flyonthewall

rpc wrote: »

Surrogate can also mean substitute or deputy - it was perfectly good use of English even if slightly ambiguous due to the association with surrogate pregnancies.

Fair enough, but I stick by what I said as it wasn't clear and it makes a difference. Saying "this friend is more than a friend" and using the word surrogate suggests family. So in future it would help if they worded things clearer as it can greatly affect the advice given.

It probably comes down to whatever is behind this bit:

On the face of it, it sounds like OP could just ask the family. Or leave a card for the patient with a note asking the family to tell the nurses OP can be allowed in. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

I'm not, it was two short lines, one of which was simply advice. You're making more out of it by continuing it all.

On the face of it it does sound like they could do that so regardless of the whole surrogate thing it seems like there is no issue and if anyone is making a mountain out of a molehill it would be the OP, unless there's something they're not telling us (in which case my advice applies and it's good that the surrogate issue/confusion was cleared up now rather than confusing people later).

LongTallKatie

There is a lot I didn't say because this is a public forum and whilst I doubt her family frequent the boards, you can never be 100% sure.


I have seen my friend, she's extremely unwell in ICU, and they are doing another brain scan later today. They have reduced her sedation but she is not coming round. As of yet it's all a bit of a mystery what is wrong. I have seen her family as well, they had no issues with me turning up, in fact they said I was to them 'family.'


I apologise for writing what I did and misleading anyone (if I did) but when your best friend, your only friend is unwell and you have no idea what is going on it can be somewhat upsetting.

tea_lover

I'm glad you got to see her, and that things are ok with her family. It sounds as if you'll all need to be pulling together to support your friend and each other. Hope tomorrow brings better news, take care.

LongTallKatie

tea_lover wrote: »

I'm glad you got to see her, and that things are ok with her family. It sounds as if you'll all need to be pulling together to support your friend and each other. Hope tomorrow brings better news, take care.

Thank you.

Flyonthewall

LongTallKatie wrote: »

There is a lot I didn't say because this is a public forum and whilst I doubt her family frequent the boards, you can never be 100% sure.


I have seen my friend, she's extremely unwell in ICU, and they are doing another brain scan later today. They have reduced her sedation but she is not coming round. As of yet it's all a bit of a mystery what is wrong. I have seen her family as well, they had no issues with me turning up, in fact they said I was to them 'family.'


I apologise for writing what I did and misleading anyone (if I did) but when your best friend, your only friend is unwell and you have no idea what is going on it can be somewhat upsetting.

Glad to know you managed to see her. I hope you find out what's wrong with her and that she's ok.

fairy_lights

I don't understand why you've deleted all your posts - if you felt more comfortable removing that information that's your choice, but to state your reason as: !!!!ING USELESS COMMENTS FROM IDIOTS
is pretty unnecessary, no one on this thread has been anything other than helpful.

Flyonthewall

fairy_lights wrote: »

I don't understand why you've deleted all your posts - if you felt more comfortable removing that information that's your choice, but to state your reason as: !!!!ING USELESS COMMENTS FROM IDIOTS
is pretty unnecessary, no one on this thread has been anything other than helpful.

I noticed the deleted posts, didn't notice the reason.

I totally agree, that's unnecessary. In fact, it's just rude!

OP, your original post was unclear, it turns out you had no issue at all and you call us idiots? Nice! Being worried about a friend is no excuse for name-calling. I really do hope your friend is ok, but if you expect to get help on here again you might want to rethink how you act/reply because people won't help if you insult them for no reason.

heuchera

Looks like someone's thrown their rattle out of the pram.

Having said that, at least one person on this thread is on my ignore list and I see another one has gone back in and edited their post..

I hope your friend pulls through.

Flyonthewall

heuchera wrote: »

Having said that, at least one person on this thread is on my ignore list and I see another one has gone back in and edited their post..

Are you refering to me? Haven't noticed another post saying edit other than the OP who wanted to remove personal info and has given her reason on each post.

If not me then ignore this post, but for anyone wondering about my edits...

My first post I wrote edit so you can see the added bit.

The second edit on my last post was I added "I really do hope your friend is ok, but if you expect to get help on here again you might want to rethink how you act/reply because people won't help if you insult them for no reason." because I wanted to say something along them lines, couldn't think how to word it, sent it as it was, thought of the words and added them after.

I didn't change anything I'd already written for either edited post.