Playdate and help with conversation

Mrshaworth2b

OK, may seem like a strange thread to start but I'm looking for some advice, been invited to a play date, first one.

I meet regularly with a bunch of mum's and there's 4 of us who have attended every one (only four meets, still relatively new)

Most of you will know what it's like at this sort of thing, conversation is very minimal between mum's and just general niceties, with interuptions from children here and there.

I can't say I have had long conversations with any of the mums but that's been more that the meets have been in busy places that involved doing things so not much relaxing to chat.

Anyway, one mum has invited me to hers for a play date, I'm really looking forward to it however I've never done this before and I am very aware that I'm going to a strangers house so I guess my questions are

How long would be long enough but not too long? Is an hour long enough? Or would it seem like I'm running off?

Do I invite them over to mine next time?

Also and this is the part I'm worried about, I'm not a great conversationalist (is that a word!!) With people I know I can ask anything and I'm a open book, when I feel comfortable with someone there is no stopping me, however with new people I struggle to know what to talk about, if I already know something (I know this ladies job because I heard her tell someone else) I feel awkward bringing it up like I'm lying about knowing , if you get what I mean. So what do I talk about? Without it seeming like a interview?

Am I thinking too much into this?

heuchera

Mrshaworth2b wrote: »

Am I thinking too much into this?

Yes.. :rotfl:

Play it by ear, relax a bit. She doesn't know you either, so may be wondering the same things.

DigForVictory

If two mums can't manage a natter about their children, you've missed the traditional opening gambit. Labour war stories if you must, a cheerful dissection of how you plan to get the child-life-work balance figured, the remarkable handiness (if true) of your OH - ye gods, there are realms.

To quote someone I've read & my apologies for forgetting whom, the trick to a reputation as a superb coversationalist is to get the ladies onto "their jewels, their servants or their lovers" but your mileage may vary....

tea_lover

Compliment something about their house or garden, always a nice start. Enjoy yourself!

Qtipps4

I totally get this. Other ladies will be in same book. I found chat was always about babies when young and work related stuff. Try to relax enjoy and know you're doing great getting out and socialising with your little ones.

janed9388

I could have written your post myself - I have just moved to a new area and have had a few playdates and group meet-ups like you describe and still not quite sure about the etiquette. I think you'll find that despite the smaller group there will still be plenty of disruptions from the kids which prevent much in depth conversation.

By the time you've covered what you've been up to since you last saw them, what the kids have been up to, drinks, snacks, plans for next meetings, toilet breaks, holidays, things to do locally (the type of stuff you usually chat about with your hairdresser!) you'll probably find a couple of hours have passed.

and yes, I think it's your turn to play "host" next time - perhaps a little activity to fill some time in too, bake some fairy cakes and decorate for snack time - you'll find time flies.

Most of all, don't over think it ! (and now I need to take my own advice:D)

lazywife

My experience is that you'll find something to chat about that you have in common .... Children, work (or previous work), how you and DH got together (save any hideous birth stories for another time).
I would say 1hr too short, 2.5hrs too long. I like play dates that arrive with treats (check with other mum before you show it to either child) bring a pack of raisins each, smarties or fruit twists depending on your style. (Could do stickers?) Nothing too big, you don't want to set too high a standards.
Definitely for you to do at yours next time, but you don't have to offer straight away.
Chill, enjoy, embrace the experience and then decide if you fancy doing it again.
Xxx