ESA Assesment Again

GrotBags_2

It has been almost 3 years since my last ESA50 and I didn't need a face to face assessment back in 2013, it seems they made the decision on letters and medical evidence I provided.


This time around I am having a F2F assessment this week, and I am terrified. The whole process is working me up so badly.


I've filled in the ESA50, but did not have any medical letters / evidence to provide since I was discharged from my CPN and Psychiatrist in January 2015, and I am off medication. It's been very difficult to come my medication in the last 12 months, many ups and downs on the way but I got through it.


I had lots of therapy which is why some might think I am fixed. I went 12 months stable so that was when I was discharged from my CPN and Psychiatrist. I do not think this makes me 100% well again.


I am certainly not ready to think about returning to work, in fact the thought of that just makes me full of dread and sends my anxiety and emotions through the roof.


I am convinced whoever assesses me will think, no CPN or Psychiatrist and off meds, this person is well enough to go back to work, and stick me in WRAG or back on JSA. I can't handle the thought I that I really can't.


I've been dreading this ESA50 coming and being assessed, I knew the ESA50 was due, to be honest I just want to self harm again and through myself back in with mental health services to make it easier to keep my ESA.


I was perhaps only discharged because with support I was doing well, but lack of funding means slightest bit of improvement and you lose that support.


It's really been a terrible 12 months, I've not been able to do things I once enjoyed. I went to Spain on holiday, and had to come home early because I couldn't relax. I try a weekend in Belgium, and I was just so miserable. Most days I just want to end it all.


Sometimes I think it would be easier than to avoid this whole DWP and Benefits thing.


I lost my DLA in December, and they didn't change their mind on the MR, so I am now heading towards tribunal. Losing that £559 a month from DLA has been really difficult for me as well.


I have little support from anyone else, I tend to shut myself off from friends because I feel so miserable all the time.


What can I expect at this F2F assessment, the one for PIP was awful, the man was really negative and didn't seem to believe anything I said. He said I contradicted myself by saying I couldn't go out, but I could since I was a carer for someone else. I am not a carer, I am a friend to someone that like me needs support, we tend to support each other. If walking around ASDA with her makes me a carer then they are deluded.


I need help, I need to get in the Support Group, paid work is just not an option for me at the moment. I think it would ultimately kill me to lose my ESA.

tomtontom

What are you doing to help yourself?

Are you seeing your GP regularly? They might write a letter to support your claim. It is unlikely you will be placed in the Support Group with no evidence.

amyjaj

What group are you placed in before?

paragon909

GrotBags wrote: »

It has been almost 3 years since my last ESA50 and I didn't need a face to face assessment back in 2013, it seems they made the decision on letters and medical evidence I provided.


This time around I am having a F2F assessment this week, and I am terrified. The whole process is working me up so badly.


I've filled in the ESA50, but did not have any medical letters / evidence to provide since I was discharged from my CPN and Psychiatrist in January 2015, and I am off medication. It's been very difficult to come my medication in the last 12 months, many ups and downs on the way but I got through it.


I had lots of therapy which is why some might think I am fixed. I went 12 months stable so that was when I was discharged from my CPN and Psychiatrist. I do not think this makes me 100% well again.


I am certainly not ready to think about returning to work, in fact the thought of that just makes me full of dread and sends my anxiety and emotions through the roof.


I am convinced whoever assesses me will think, no CPN or Psychiatrist and off meds, this person is well enough to go back to work, and stick me in WRAG or back on JSA. I can't handle the thought I that I really can't.


I've been dreading this ESA50 coming and being assessed, I knew the ESA50 was due, to be honest I just want to self harm again and through myself back in with mental health services to make it easier to keep my ESA.


I was perhaps only discharged because with support I was doing well, but lack of funding means slightest bit of improvement and you lose that support.


It's really been a terrible 12 months, I've not been able to do things I once enjoyed. I went to Spain on holiday, and had to come home early because I couldn't relax. I try a weekend in Belgium, and I was just so miserable. Most days I just want to end it all.


Sometimes I think it would be easier than to avoid this whole DWP and Benefits thing.


I lost my DLA in December, and they didn't change their mind on the MR, so I am now heading towards tribunal. Losing that £559 a month from DLA has been really difficult for me as well.


I have little support from anyone else, I tend to shut myself off from friends because I feel so miserable all the time.


What can I expect at this F2F assessment, the one for PIP was awful, the man was really negative and didn't seem to believe anything I said. He said I contradicted myself by saying I couldn't go out, but I could since I was a carer for someone else. I am not a carer, I am a friend to someone that like me needs support, we tend to support each other. If walking around ASDA with her makes me a carer then they are deluded.


I need help, I need to get in the Support Group, paid work is just not an option for me at the moment. I think it would ultimately kill me to lose my ESA.

People here can't help you get into a group of ESA, People can only give advice.

And from reading your comments you aren't doing much, If you were discharged and off medication, Why didn't you disagree with these decisions and ask for further support, Before you got the ESA50, What was the condition of your health?

You can't just say you self harmed because you got the letter saying you need an assessment, going by this logic people would never want to work and remain on ESA for ever, Why wouldn't you consider WRAG if they put you on that?

GrotBags_2

tomtontom wrote: »

What are you doing to help yourself?

Are you seeing your GP regularly? They might write a letter to support your claim. It is unlikely you will be placed in the Support Group with no evidence.

I see my GP for my diabetes (Type 2) but do not discuss mental health with them, 10 minute appointment does not really give you much time to.


I am still using techniques I learnt in 2 years of therapy, DBT for Borderline Personality Disorder. It helps sometimes, but still does not completely remove all my paranoia and emotional issues.


I am also overweight, hence the type 2 diabetes. I am an emotional eater, tried weight loss etc., but I lack will power and along with crazed emotions I just use food for comfort. I was suppose to be having weight loss surgery, but it was postponed, my psychologist would not support my choice as he felt my issues surrounding using food for comfort would not just disappear with weight loss surgery - I am inclined to agree with him.


I am reaching a point where I no longer want to go out, I have to force myself, you know put a nice smiley face on for those around me. I sometimes wish those around me would die, so I could just end everything, life would be much easier.

GrotBags_2

amyjaj wrote: »

What group are you placed in before?

Support Group for 3 years. I saw the medical report, it said:


'Significantly unwell, and more than likely not able to work in the next three years. Three significant suicide attempts in 4 months. Currently engaging in long-term therapy on the NHS'

tea-bag

GrotBags wrote: »

Look at the Hyundai i10, a great little car. I'm on my second i10 now, just bought a new 65 plate, previous one was 6 years old.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/70136404#Comment_70136404

You don't seem to be doing that bad!

Seems you are happy to sit at home taking the money without any questions.

GrotBags_2

paragon909 wrote: »

People here can't help you get into a group of ESA, People can only give advice.

And from reading your comments you aren't doing much, If you were discharged and off medication, Why didn't you disagree with these decisions and ask for further support, Before you got the ESA50, What was the condition of your health?

You can't just say you self harmed because you got the letter saying you need an assessment, going by this logic people would never want to work and remain on ESA for ever, Why wouldn't you consider WRAG if they put you on that?

Being honest I was happy to be discharged from services because with some support in place I was doing well. I was told to remain on my medication for the foreseeable future. I came off anti-depressants over a few months with the support of my GP. I then started to reduce the anti-psychotics about 4 months ago, mainly because I was sick of the tired feeling I got with them during the day.


Before the ESA50 came, things were up and down. I find any stress sends me into a rollercoaster of emotions. I can't handle noise and I like to stay at home to be away from people who created noise. I sit in my flat usually in complete silence during the day and put the TV in on the evening. Recently I concluded my neighbour upstairs is very noisy, especially at weekends, and for me it is triggering feelings of wanting to run... I've had problems with neighbours above me before, 3 years ago which triggered my series of suicide attempts. To cut a long story short, they were eventually evicted, but only after the housing tried to force me to move - they thought it was all in my head! It was only when another neighbour complained about them, that action was taken (noise recording equipment etc.)


I had a quiet neighbour move in for almost 2 years and things were good, now they have gone and I have a new neighbour move in last July, I think since then things have just been going downhill.


I'm so isolated, 39 and not a single friend my own age. There is just me and a parent who I care for. And a best friend who is somewhat older than me.


I tried re-training, gained some qualifications over the last few years, last one was GCSE English and Maths (gained a B & C) and did some voluntary work all for my own preparation to go back to part time work.


I feel no-one will employ me because I am overweight (155kg) and my past history of mental health issues.


I just do not know what to do anymore.

GrotBags_2

tea-bag wrote: »

You don't seem to be doing that bad!

Seems you are happy to sit at home taking the money without any questions.

The famous tea-bag, I've seen your nasty comments before. Actually the old Hyundai was mine. although it was parked up for 9 months and never got driven. The new one is officially my father's, it's a Motability car and I drive it for him (after taking some refresher lessons), to do his shopping, to take him to appointments etc. But please feel free to judge me, after all it seems Mr Tea-Bag does that a lot on this forum! I add without this car my dad who has worked his entire life until retirement wouldn't be able to attend his dialysis appointments 3 times a week, he's had to give up his own driving licence because he's been diagnosed with sleep apnea.

GrotBags_2

Sorry should not have posted, some idiots really are judgemental, it is no wonder I keep myself to myself... can't stand people like tea-bag who think they know it all.

amyjaj

GrotBags wrote: »

Support Group for 3 years. I saw the medical report, it said:


'Significantly unwell, and more than likely not able to work in the next three years. Three significant suicide attempts in 4 months. Currently engaging in long-term therapy on the NHS'

Would love to see what my medical report said!