Please please help me declutter sentimental items!

7roland8

Iwould keep the pictures and kids cards - how lovely to look abck on. Also your teen bits if they brign happy memories - when youa re old and maybe infirm you may enjoy browing through all the stuff again.


Ditch some fo hubby's cuddly toyd - just keep one or two.


Don't forget this stuff cannot be replaced - and once someone dies the things they have given you become even more precious. You cn keep stuff without it being a hoarder's nightmare.


like above I an quietly filling two large plastic boxes with the best bits of two sons' things for them to have later one. Also doing one for my things too.

dandy-candy

I've just read the begining post of the Kondo thread to get the jist of it (I won't have time to read the book, we move on Thursday). The joy thing is a problem as I am overly sentimental as I often keep things I don't really have a use for, but the kids made or bought me and the thought of them carefully picking/making something just warms my heart

I've just stuck my head in the attic and so far seen:

All my kids baby clothes (I will charity those)

Some bags of pictures they drew for me when they were little

Good quality bedding and curtains from my mums house which I don't actually like very much

All the kids toys inc Lego (do I keep it for years more until we hopefully have grandchildren?)

The old rocking wooden cot that I had when I was young and I used for my kids

My grandads coin and stone collections (not valuable)

A box of my mums old tatty toys when she was a kid.

Any suggestions?
Re. The leaving it for my kids to sort, I did have to do that when my mum died and it was a hassle (she was much worse than me) but I did keep too much of it. I think I get my hoarding from her, and it might be genetic as DD wants to keep every cuddly toy she has ever owned!

dandy-candy

7roland8 wrote: »

Don't forget this stuff cannot be replaced

This really hits the nail on the head for me. I can't bear throwing stuff because once it's gone, it's gone forever. But I would love a decluttered house too!

FrugalWorker

Okay - I'm going to come from the other side. the less stuff you have the less stuff you have to mind/care for. You leave more room in your life to embrace new experiences.

However, I'm a bit harsh - I don't like keeping things, my wedding dress was in the charity shop within the month of being married. However, if I can re-purpose something - my wedding band is made of jewelry that I received for my christening, a cufflink of my fathers, a brooch of my grand mothers. Despite being 'just a gold band' - I smile regularly when I twist it on my finger.

Scan - photos + dump the physical copies, particularly of the bad ones (mind you I'd suggest that would be creating digital clutter, however if it helped you do get rid of the photos).

- Take photos of : A drawer of knick knacks I have kept from holidays when I was a teenager - keyrings, statues, cheap jewellery.

- Take photos of: Every Mother's Day card my kids ever gave me.
(keep maybe one shoe box size box of sentimental things for each of the kids, maybe these could go in there) - I'd do it with a really nice fancy box, and just they way I'm guessing they are randomly filling up a house now)

A belt my mum bought me for my 15 birthday (I'm 42)
- Do you still wear it? Is it of particular significance? Take a photo of it. Same as for your children, one small box of things that will remind you of your parents, one for your youth, and one for your husband - that's it! No more.

What's sad is if there was a fire / flood in the house, you wouldn't be able to save anything. If you have things archived, you would at least have digital copies - I've these stored on a cloud.

by the way, memories aren't physical items. If you managed to get photos scanned in, or pictures of the mothers day cards, you could then put time and effort in to creating a photo book of these memories and give a copy to your mother/ child / husband as appropriate so you could both share the memories. As it stands they locked away as they are not organised.

Don't get me wrong, you can still have things out that have memories associated with them. I go by the belief have nothing in your house that is not useful to you or beautiful. Many of my decorative items are items from grandparents / parents / holidays / living abroad / things I've made. BUT I don't cling on to them - And as i've moved in with my husband, things have got diluted so there are things important to both of us.

By the way - this above is a huge project, but maybe one you could start.

VfM4meplse

I completely agree with the Kondo suggestion, but would also recommend setting aside a whole weekend and enlisting an impartial friend to help. (On the basis that you wouldn't waste their time).

Make quick decisions about items. If its something your kids have made - and you feel that it will be somehow betraying them by getting rid - then hang onto it if you absolutely must. If its stuff that has been bought and given to you as a gift, if it isn't useful, beautiful or sparks joy....remember that your kids will have to get rid of it after you die, so save them the bother.

You'll soon find the process of getting rid of stuff addictive, you just need to get in the flow.

YORKSHIRELASS

Floss wrote: »

and get yourself over to the Kon-Mari thread...

Of course, have been there myself a few times and the help and support might be just what you need.

A little story from our house ... DH grew up in a big family where there was not much money. He was about 8 when someone came to school selling books and at the time DH was mad on Wurzel Gummidge. There was a Wurzel Gummidge book for sale but DHs Mum said it was too expensive. DH begged her to buy it as he had never had a new book of his own before. So secretly his Mum went to school and bought it for him.

We were clearing out a cupboard and there was the 35 year old book. It was dusty and tatty and had never been out of the box it was in since DH left home. DH said I cant get rid of it. I pointed out that he will always have that memory of coming home from school and his Mum presenting him with that book and how that made him feel. It's that memory that is important, not the physical object shoved in a dusty cardboard box that never sees the light of day. He agreed and the book went.

meanmarie

Finding it ve ry difficult to declutter but need to do it as I am sure that theday after my funeral there will be a queue of skip trucks to remove everything from the house.....keep telling myself that I want to do it myself so that each item may be disposed of with dignity.

Marie

7roland8

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

We were clearing out a cupboard and there was the 35 year old book. It was dusty and tatty and had never been out of the box it was in since DH left home. DH said I cant get rid of it. I pointed out that he will always have that memory of coming home from school and his Mum presenting him with that book and how that made him feel. It's that memory that is important, not the physical object shoved in a dusty cardboard box that never sees the light of day. He agreed and the book went.

That's sad. Its the item that often results in the memory popping into a person's head. With memory loss an increasing scourge of the older generation having items that would fire their memories is important - much better than an empty house. So a boxful of bits and pieces or old cards etc would be a godsend to someone whose memory was failing.
Not saying keep everything - but don't throw all your life away as one day you may be sorry.

LameWolf

dandy-candy wrote: »

I've lived in my current home for 19 years and we are due to move in a weeks time. I planned to declutter as I filled the packing boxes, but I realise this is a bad idea!
I have a large attic, garage and every drawer and cupboard stuffed with things. Getting rid of clothes, old knick knacks, electricals, etc - no problem. Anything sentimental is very hard! I know lots will say to keep stuff like this, but I get emotional over things that many of you wouldn't.
Just in my bedroom so far-

3 boxes of every photo I've ever taken including random landscapes/national trust houses without anyone in the shot. Also all the "bad" photos of people with eyes shut etc, but it's hard to chuck these especially if they have my kids in from when little.
Weed out the disasters and bin them. Digitalise the rest.

A drawer of knick knacks I have kept from holidays when I was a teenager - keyrings, statues, cheap jewellery.
Charity shop, if it hasn't seen the light of day for over 12 months

Every Mother's Day card my kids ever gave me.
Can't help with that one, I'm afraid, as I never had children.

A belt my mum bought me for my 15 birthday (I'm 42)
Does it still fit? No? Charity shop, then.

All the cuddly toys I've been given by my husband (even the ones I don't like!)
Charity shop, kids' hospice or animal shelter (puppies like "cuddlies" ffor comfort)

This stuff is living shoved away and hasn't seen the light of day for years. When I go through them I do think awww (especially drawings saying "I love you" from my kids when they were little, they're teens and never say that now!), but when I finish looking at them they go back in the cupboard for another few years....

Please help! How do I do this? There is TONS to still go through

I've replied in red, according to the bit I'm answering - HTH

Goldiegirl

Plenty of suggestions about how to go about things.


I'd just say that, all this takes time. As you only have a week to go before you move, you'll probably need to take most of the stuff with you.


I've decluttered a lot over the last few years, and it took 6 years in all to be 'finished' I wasn't even that cluttered to start off with!


When you are not sure about what you want to keep and what can go, it's better to do it at a steady pace.