Care home vs full time carers

margaretclare

PasturesNew wrote: »

When you go into a care home there are no ongoing house costs. No council tax, no bills, no insurance, no phone line, no maintenance, no grass cutting, no window washing, no gardening. There are also no food bills. No transport costs to get to/from Doctors and hairdressers.

Then there are breakdowns/callouts and replacements - heating system, new washing machine, new kettle, etc.

You have to add in the cost of running a home for somebody who is living in it and needs to have that home "serviced". I can stand at my door and decide/not to cut my grass....if I'm 90 and somebody's deciding that for me then that'll turn out to be a gardener once a fortnight for a few more quid.

All those quids add up.

And what about the cost of entertainment? You can't have them sitting alone in a house with carers 24/7, they'll need some form of outside chit-chat, entertainment. In a home they've got 30+ other people to chit-chat to; visiting entertainments; things going on, a buzz around them. Special "teatime" put on for significant dates; VE Day, Queen's Birthday, etc. Birthday cakes/singing happy birthday every time it's somebody's birthday. Santa visits at Xmas; the Easter Bunny gives them an egg at Easter. To get them out of the house to do "stuff" is tricky and costs money.

Quality of life is bought in a care home.

PasturesNew makes a strong case, pointing out advantages of a care home vs living in one's own home.

None of the activities detailed in the final paragraph above appeal to me, not in any shape or form. DH and I have things that we like to do, but they wouldn't include any of those. I'm a member of the local French circle and last evening I went there. Many older people there, one a former university professor speaking on French literature, all maintaining their language skills.

I don't mind paying someone to cut the grass or clean the windows!

What I would dislike most about the lifestyle detailed above would be the lack of choice and loss of personal decision-making. 'Oh come along, tea-party and Santa's visit'. No, thank you. I've long outgrown both Santa and the Easter bunny (the goddess of spring and her totem animal). As regards food, we prefer to eat what and when we please.

Because of work done to modernise this bungalow, we hope to remain here as long as possible. When/if one of us is left on his/her own that will be a different matter.

iris

margaretclare wrote: »

PasturesNew makes a strong case, pointing out advantages of a care home vs living in one's own home.

None of the activities detailed in the final paragraph above appeal to me, not in any shape or form. DH and I have things that we like to do, but they wouldn't include any of those. I'm a member of the local French circle and last evening I went there. Many older people there, one a former university professor speaking on French literature, all maintaining their language skills.

I don't mind paying someone to cut the grass or clean the windows!

What I would dislike most about the lifestyle detailed above would be the lack of choice and loss of personal decision-making. 'Oh come along, tea-party and Santa's visit'. No, thank you. I've long outgrown both Santa and the Easter bunny (the goddess of spring and her totem animal). As regards food, we prefer to eat what and when we please.

Because of work done to modernise this bungalow, we hope to remain here as long as possible. When/if one of us is left on his/her own that will be a different matter.

I agree with you Margaret.


We bought our bungalow nearly 15 years ago brand new and our bathroom/ensuite and kitchen have been updated since. We have an easily manageable garden and our bungalow is wheelchair friendly both inside and out.


However, my DH has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer and given less than 12 months to live.


Since his diagnosis we have been 'putting our house in order' and my DH has mentioned that I should think about moving into a retirement flat, but I am not sure.


I am 70 and, as far as I am aware, I am very fit for my age and I also drive, so can go where I want.


The thought of living in a care home fills me with horror.

jackyann

I think it is very difficult to generalise. So much depends on individual taste, different types of care home, different social situations and so on, as well as the reason care is needed.

If a very high level of care is needed, it is undoubtedly cheaper in a care home. How one feels about that is individual - and I should add, can change over time. I have known people who deeply disliked the idea when younger, finding themselves feeling safer and more comfortable in a care home as their needs change.

Severe dementia is almost impossible to manage at home, even with a high level of care. Also, the specialist experience in handling such patients is mostly found in care homes.

I think it best to keep an open mind.

Iris - I know a number of people moving into "retirement flats" (nothing like nursing or care homes!). It seems a good choice if one has trouble managing the physical tasks of running a house & garden. I imagine that your husband is being thoughtful about your future.

margaretclare

iris wrote: »

I agree with you Margaret.


We bought our bungalow nearly 15 years ago brand new and our bathroom/ensuite and kitchen have been updated since. We have an easily manageable garden and our bungalow is wheelchair friendly both inside and out.

However, my DH has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer and given less than 12 months to live.

Since his diagnosis we have been 'putting our house in order' and my DH has mentioned that I should think about moving into a retirement flat, but I am not sure.

I am 70 and, as far as I am aware, I am very fit for my age and I also drive, so can go where I want.

The thought of living in a care home fills me with horror.

I am so sorry. This is the worst news. And much too soon for you to start thinking long-term. You sound to have all the living conditions sorted, for both of you or for one of you. No need to stress far into the future. The here-and-now is enough to be concerned about.

DH and I have sometimes said 'what we would do if....' We certainly wouldn't want to spend the last 3 or 4 years of life as his cousin did, acute myeloid leukaemia. Chemo was repeated, and repeated, and repeated, and every time, involved being in a little room in hospital under strict asepsis. No quality of life at all. We know we'd not want to live like that.

I agree with severe dementia being unmanageable at home. There are some things you simply can't generalise about.

I've just been looking at the Open University site and note that they have students in their 90s. Am thinking about a modern languages degree.....

Mr_Costcutter

[QUOTE=PasturesNew;70288371

Quality of life is bought in a care home.[/QUOTE]

Perhaps in the best case scenario, but sadly many care homes are much to be desired.

teddysmum

Mr_Costcutter wrote: »

Perhaps in the best case scenario, but sadly many care homes are much to be desired.

I agree with you.

People with lots of resources can pick and choose a superior place, but those with , perhaps, just a house, would soon use up their assets on such and then could face the possibility of being downgraded by the council, which would be footing future bills.

My father was urgently placed in a private care home, by his council (after accidentally leaving his gas cooker hob turned on ) and the place looked lovely from outside. However, inside was a different matter and it was nowhere near as nice as the council run home, a few doors away, that I accidentally went to on my first visit.

Dad was withdrawing into himself, so he didn't notice, but there was a lady who constantly pulled down her knickers, removed her incontinence pad and put it under various residents chairs. I felt so sorry for some of the embarrassed frail residents who were mentally alert ,so had to witness this kind of thing on a regular basis.


Dad was moved to a much nicer place, for his last few weeks; this place having smaller communal rooms so people could have privacy without isolation.


Going quickly would have delighted him, as he always said he didn't want 'them' taking his home.

Mojisola

Mr_Costcutter wrote: »

Perhaps in the best case scenario, but sadly many care homes are much to be desired.

teddysmum wrote: »

I agree with you.

People with lots of resources can pick and choose a superior place, but those with , perhaps, just a house, would soon use up their assets on such and then could face the possibility of being downgraded by the council, which would be footing future bills.

Unfortunately, poor care isn't restricted to residential care.

There are plenty of people who spend their last years at home in less than ideal situations - their relatives don't care enough or are stretched beyond coping or they are alone for most of the day apart from rushed visits by paid carers, etc.

Tiglath

We did 4 x daily carer visits for Mum for a year until she had her leg amputated. It wasn't feasible keeping her at home with a hoist and sling etc. She's now in a council-run home which is lovely and she's happy. Most of the fees are paid by SS but she has to pay around £900/month, which is mostly covered by her pension (and topped up by me as we've kept her house going until she decided to sell it so there have been additional bills to be paid). Once her house is sold, there'll be a re-assessment and she'll be liable for the full amount, I guess, as there's a fair amount of equity in her home; hopefully it'll see her out. Either way I'll make sure she stays there. She's mentally fine and just likes having people bustling around her all the time. She was lonely at home with people just popping in for 30 minutes at a time but now she spends her days in the communal lounge watching TV and eating lovely food. From my perspective I know she's getting excellent care and I don't have to worry about her being alone, as I don't live near her.