Getting a mortgage and then becoming mortgage-free!

new_mortgageeee

Excellent outcome from Starbucks!

And impressive survey totals. I'm about the same as you on OnePoll... taking it's time, but we'll get there :beer:

Hope your back is feeling better for tonight's fun

NMx

Kittenkirst

Really struggling to sleep this evening as I'm so unbelievably angry!

Meal with friends all went well until the guy tells my gf about someone at the gym who is being plain spiteful about her behind her back...good on our friend for telling her (can't have been easy) however it has completely knocked her for six.

So the story is that this guy was a PT at our gym for years and has on quite a few occasions spoken with her about doing personal training with him, however as much as she wants to do it we've been saving money so she has said no,. It turns out that a while ago he kept taking the !!!! out of her; saying she was our friends mum (she is younger than him and deffo looks younger too) & making derogatory comments about the colours of her skin :mad: At the time our friend told him off strongly about it and stated he was friends with her and the things he was saying were completely not on. Friend thought it had stopped. Until a few weeks ago when his other gym friend started asking him whether he was training with his mum (meaning my gf!) and he realized that this PT was saying those awful things again.

Now this guy is no longer hired by our gym but rents the space to be able to do personal training,and also trains a gym friend of ours.

Gf was obviously pretty taken back by this and looked so hurt but continued to try and not make a fuss so our friends enjoyed the evening,

When we first started dating gf told me about how she had always wanted to have lighter skin, as it's seen as prettier in her culture. I've always loved her skin and told her so. I can't believe someone could be so downright cruel to someone they don't really know.

Seeing how hurt she is has made me so angry and frustrated that I want to find him and give him a piece of my mind. What a horrible human being he is!

Gf spoke a little about it when she came to bed, so I've said for her not to give him the time of the day if she sees him in the gym but she says it's not that easy. How dare he make her feel so self conscious about going to a place that she enjoys so much.

I've also tried to reassure her it's one persons opinion and (friend told us) that he's hideous about other people too, but she now thinks that more people must have that opinion and it's not just her being self conscious. I feel like crying for her as he has gone for her Achilles heel completely and reinforced all of her worst worries about herself.

I think a lot of TLC and reassurance is neede for my lady over the next few weeks.

Will mull over whether we can do anything formal about this guy at the gym- at the moment I guess it's hearsay so not sure a formal complaint would achieve anything, and whether gf would let me

SuzieSue

Why on earth did your friend tell your gf what some idiot had been saying behind her back?

Is this PT so important that what he says has to listened to?

I'm not surprised your gf is upset. No-one likes to think that people are talking behind their back even if they are an idiot so it is best not to know. It would be bad enough even if she didn't have a hang up about her skin tone.

Kittenkirst

Hi Suziesue, I think he felt he had to tell her as this PT is friendly with her and keeps trying to sign her up all the while being vile behind her back

He didn't know she is conscious about her skin tone (I think only me and her mum know about this) so don't think he quite realised the pain it would cause her.

She seems back to usual self today, will only raise it if she wants to talk about it but I will try to ensure she feels as adored and loved as she is!

Early start this morning & borrowed friends van to move the cross trainer from her parents and to move my silversmith bench. We also took the rug back to Next (it was Coral not dark red unfortunately) so now we are chilling on sofas with or blankets watching Lucky Man on sky box sets

Decided to review spending this month and the low down is:

Groceries: £99.36 (just under £25 a week)
Clothes: £37 (but had a refund of £23 from xmas spends so nett £14)
Eating out: £75 (!!)
Petrol £45.54
Diesel £11.24
Entertainment: £200 (my share of the bar bill for cousins housewarming celebrations)

The eating out is the shocker for me as I've been inviting people over lots more to try and reduce this but it's still very high

Diesel spends was for borrowing friends van so popped additional diesel in to cover what we used and a bit more

I'm pleased with the groceries as this includes the catering for gf's cousins housewarming we hosted, three meals with friends at ours and all of our lunches and dinners (including £10 on my work pass for our canteen!). We can probably minimise this some more in Feb as the cupboards, freezers & fridge are very well stocked indeed!

Kittenkirst

Forgot to add that at next counters they had samples of aftershave & perfumes to take; shop assistant said to take a few so have shared with gf's mum & dad and put one of each aside for my brother & his gf for when we visit mid Feb- everyone loves a freebie!

Lunch was kheema potato bombs from parents neighbour ( as they are going out for the day) with spaghetti hoops. Dinner tonight is mushroom risotto to use up the extra mushrooms we have and Parmesan from Friday night

Gf is lightly snoozing on sofa after some cleaning so Wayward Pines is on, I have just snaffled the last Starbucks caramel shortbread from a Christmas gift box and a small slice of the bake well tart we got in just in case our friends wanted dessert despite their request for gym friendly food (the lady of the couple was very pleased and had a big slice of the cherry bake well tart!). I've checked surveys but none to be done, so played on the daily Quidco prize draw.

SuzieSue

Kittenkirst wrote: »

Hi Suziesue, I think he felt he had to tell her as this PT is friendly with her and keeps trying to sign her up all the while being vile behind her back

Yes, but he could have just said that the PT was vile to everyone in order to warn her off him, he didn't have to go in to details.

I hope your GF is feeling better today.

Kittenkirst

Very true Suziesue, she seems okaybut it's hard to judge. I really hope she won't be put off the gym by this...will have to make sure I'm not as resistant to go as normal and accompany her

Kittenkirst

Additional £25 swept across to the mortgage just now; been fiddling with our accounts app and think we'll have £50 to easily move just before payday (15th feb) so I've taken a gamble and moved half already.

My mortgage OPs aren't going to set the world alight but this means we have OP'd

2016-interest in October: £14.89/day
November: £17.53
December: £237.97

2017
January: £66.87

Aiming to OP £122.81 in February...

Busy_Mee1

Hi Kittenkirst - sorry to hear that such a nasty individual has upset you and you GF. Try not to waste any energy worrying about him though ( I know it is hard). In my experience people like that get exactly what they deserve. This guy is a self employed personal trainer and his livelihood depends on an element of confidentiality and a supportive attitude and if I heard him bad mouthing other people then I certainly wouldn't use him. Just watch with interest as he started to lose clients and fails to gain any new ones - word soon spreads around a gym.

Kittenkirst

Very true Busymee, we ventured there and on the way gf said she didn't want to go but felt she should as him being an a$$ shouldn't stop her going, so we went. Only to find that I had left my gym tee at home :rotfl:

So we came home, walked to Tescos to get some chicken thighs (took our own carrier bag for a change!) and walked home again. I've hit 15k steps today though so not too bad.

Dinner was half a roasted veg tart (YS at 90p a while back, other half is in the freezer), a flatbread each from the freezer, a little cabbage and smattering of oven chips

Chicken is bought for Thursday night- planning Harissa chicken yum

Work was pants but it's another day the mortgage goes paid

Lunch is made for tomorrow- Iceland chicken with couscous, chopped veg and some mashed up celeriac mixed in (bulks it out with minimal calories)

Wednesday I'm now visiting suppliers and my big big boss :eek: he is getting taken out for lunch by our suppliers but my colleague and I have to go get our own food- we're going to get a nice coffee and sandwich somewhere tasty and claim it back (we are allowed to)

Dinner plans on Wednesday have been cancelled for which I'm secretly a little glad (no spending now, can help gf parents with month end cashing up), also arranged to meet a friend next week. It was her birthday a few weeks ago- normally I'd buy something lavish and we'd go for dinner; I've instead invited her to our house and will bake her a cake and buy her some daffodils or tulips and give her a birthday Soap & Glory box set I got in the Boots sale (£1!). This won't cost much but I'm hoping she likes the effort. She is struggling a little financially and I thought that may lessen the burden of us constantly buying birthday/Christmas gifts that are too expensive :money: