How to Say NO to friends?

Batgirl

I agree with an earlier post and instead of going out for Pizza make it at home with yours kids. I have done this with my kids and they loved it. The fun of making the pizza was far higher than buying one. We also have cinema nights and they love them too, we buy popcorn and treats 9 which are pence form asda/tesco and close the curtains turn the telly upo loud etc etc.

If your too embarrassed to say your skint to your friends ( I don't think its as easy for some people to say as it is to others) then tell them your doing it because your kids are getting older and you want to teach them ways to have fun without spending huge amounts of money because we are becoming nation of debt now your kids are getting older you want to teach them financial responsibility. You also want to teach them to cook healthier versions of their favourite foods again because they are getting older and will one day be moving out and these are all useful skills. Because lets face it if you as an adult can not afford to do all these things with your kids, they definatley won't be able to afford it when they leave home etc.

Hope this isn't too much of a waffle as I am in a rush but wanted to add my 2 pence to this thread.

Hope this helps

Batgirl

LouiseJ

Thanks Batgirl

I have been teaching the boys to make homemade hobnobs and fairy cakes today & they really enjoyed it & should have enough to last for weeks packed lunches.
I couldnt agree more about teaching the young about finances, my oldest son, after reading rich dad poor dad has set up a spreadsheet for his pocket money and spending activity. My 12 year old is still to see the wonder in saving but I have put a stop to any subs on his pocket money & am encouraging him to look for some items to sell on Ebay for extra cash.

newmum1

Id recommend free places or dependent on how close friends you are could you not say youre a bit skint due to (excuse)........... im sure they will understand and you never know they may even welcome the idea.

skint_spice

I've still to try the homemade hobnobs - wrote out the recipe ages ago but it sounds lovely.
I'm trying to do the same by encourage DS (age 8) to cook and teach him about money, it's difficult though as I told him I was skint the other day and he didn't see how I could afford to buy food. didn't understand the concept that I have enough for basics just not bloomin dr who cards!

In_Search_Of_Me

If they are good friends just be honest and if they're not then say that the interest rates are having an impact & you've got to cut back...if not just avoid them for a bit! It will all catch up on them in the end if they are spending that much just on food a week! As we all know excessive spending CANT go on for ever, no matter how we try to fool ourselves! I'd be honest myself & good friends understand and join in with you & encourage you - what friend would want to see you in trouble! I saw a friend once & we oohed & ahhed about the special pud I had taken for an extra special treat! Let us know how you get on!

OliveOyl_2

Funnily enough, I now no longer have to say "I don't have enough money/I'm broke/in debt" My OH will shortly be working abroad for the next couple of years and we need a BIG budget for air-fares if we're to see each other, so I now say I'm saving for the air-fares and I'm treated quite differently!

I get the impression that debt is regarded as the lenders problem, and not something that should spoil todays life, but saving for a purchase is OK. Somehow it is less embarrassing! Not sure if this helps, but why not lie and say you're saving up for x, or to get the children through university?

LouiseJ

Thankyou everyone for your ideas and support. Had a takeaway with friends on Friday night but was 1st one in a few weeks & only cost us £10 per couple which wasnt too bad.

It was a good opportunity for me to casually mention that we are now saving up for our holiday next year and that we have set up a savings plan for our boys university fund, (which we have had for ages but recently upped the contributions). They thought that it was a sensible plan and told us that they need to save more themselves but find it difficult to do without the luxuries that they have become used to (takeaways, meals out etc).

We have come up with a plan together!

We are all as a group with the kids going to play a team sport at least once a week, this week we are going to hire 5aside pitch (£5 for 1 hour) at local leisure centre in an aim to be more healthy instead of going out for a meal/takeaway.

Will let you know how it goes.
P.S I also showed the my Mortgage Pig which of course they thought was hilarious, maybe too much too early for them, would show them this forum but how embarrasing if they find this link!

givememoney

When my kids were young we used to have `get togethers` where one person or couple were the hosts but all we all took a plate of food for us all to share and we all brought some drinks.

This not only cut the cost but didn't put too much of a strain on the person holding the event where they had to buy all the food or prepare it.

skint_spice

"They thought that it was a sensible plan and told us that they need to save more themselves but find it difficult to do without the luxuries that they have become used to (takeaways, meals out etc)."

Sounds like you'd all fallen into a routine and noone wanted to be the ones to opt out. The 5 aside sounds like it'll be fun, cheaper and healthier so no down points at all.

Well done for being brave and being the one to bring about the change!:T