Partner earning less than 8k but has debts of 18k - please help.

lacoste1985_2

cte1111 wrote: »

Ok you're clearly not open to any ideas that mean any change to the unsustainable way that you are currently living. I wish you both luck and hope everything works out for you but won't be wasting any more time trying to help.

i accept we all have different opinions but i came on here purely for financial help, info on what debt solution OH could pursue such as DRO's, DMP's, IVA's etc etc. pros and cons of each one, feedback from people that have been on these etc. or what CC OH should be paying off first because of x, y, z, what can he do if he cant get another bal trans card when 0% deals end...

instead some peoples advice, i feel like ive been sent to the lions den and ripped apart.....

lacoste1985_2

Debtslayer wrote: »

If you and your OH are focused and willing to make changes then he can become debt free. But if you keep making excuses it will never happen and you'll be in the same situation (if not worse) in another couple of years. But if you make the cutbacks now you can make things better for yourselves. It's not easy but it can be done; but you have to be prepared to put in the hard work and making the necessary cutbacks.

he cant sell car its on HP for another 32 months....

Grumpelstiltskin

lacoste1985 wrote: »

i accept we all have different opinions but i came on here purely for financial help, info on what debt solution OH could pursue such as DRO's, DMP's, IVA's etc etc. pros and cons of each one, feedback from people that have been on these etc. or what CC OH should be paying off first because of x, y, z, what can he do if he cant get another bal trans card when 0% deals end...

instead some peoples advice, i feel like ive been sent to the lions den and ripped apart.....

OK Lets get down to some basics and questions you haven't answered.


1 What kind of car does he have?


2 What kind of phone does he have?


3 What would he do if you weren't able to support him?


4 Why does he need travel insurance, he can't afford to travel anywhere?


5 Is the level of Breakdown Cover higher than he needs?


6 Ditto phone insurance?


I have the feeling it's all in appearances with him, not prepared to compromise on how he comes over to people when in his position he needs a tatty Ford Focus and the cheapest phone that wouldn't need insuring.


Sorry if I come over as being harsh but if he really has thought through another career change then he has to be prepared to make big sacrifices in the short term.

Debtslayer

lacoste1985 wrote: »

he cant sell car its on HP for another 32 months....

And the other changes I've mentioned?

Zoology_Dragon

lacoste1985 wrote: »

Yes i agree that some people work full time and do an OU degree around this. I am also aware that this is primarily why OU was invented. It just so happens that the OH accepted a full time job AFTER applying and being accepted on the degree that WOULD NOT have fitted in with OU study. His week would of consisted of 49 hours work [as he was planning on keeping his Fri night delivery job to pay off the debts for information], 10 hours + a week of travelling plus 16-18 hrs of study.....in total a 77 HOUR WEEK of work and study. Enough to drive anyone over the edge let alone make them wants to sit down and learn computer code at god knows what time of the night after working all week!!

I agree that this would not be sustainable and I think people have been very harsh. I'm sure there are some people who can work two full time jobs and not burn out after a month but most of us aren't like that.

I do think you need to reconsider a DMP though. I know you're saying that there is an issue because of him needing a credit card for petrol but I'm sure you could find a workaround, whether that is him swapping the delivery job for something else (it sounds very poorly paid to be honest) or perhaps you could get a credit card purely for his petrol? (That is paid off in full each month of course, I'm not suggesting more debt!). It *is* worth him doing his degree, well done to him for taking that first step, you just need to figure out a way to sort out those debts so that he can graduate with a completely clean slate looking forward to a much brighter future.

Grumpelstiltskin

OK I've said 'm sorry for being harsh but honestly I think the OP is very blinkered and the partner is taking advantage of her and she can't see it.


Many people in their 30s would like to change careers but they realise if it involved starting from scratch on a totally different subject from anything they have ever done before and as the OP has said the partner has never had a full time job since leaving school then they realise that before they jump they sort their finances out and have some financial cushion.


The partner has a financial cushion, the OP who is prepared to work her fingers to the bone to support him but what would happen if she suddenly couldn't work?

lacoste1985_2

Debtslayer wrote: »

If you and your OH are focused and willing to make changes then he can become debt free. But if you keep making excuses it will never happen and you'll be in the same situation (if not worse) in another couple of years. But if you make the cutbacks now you can make things better for yourselves. It's not easy but it can be done; but you have to be prepared to put in the hard work and making the necessary cutbacks.

Grumpelstiltskin wrote: »

OK Lets get down to some basics and questions you haven't answered.


1 What kind of car does he have?


2 What kind of phone does he have?

3 What would he do if you weren't able to support him?


4 Why does he need travel insurance, he can't afford to travel anywhere? -


5 Is the level of Breakdown Cover higher than he needs?


6 Ditto phone insurance?


I have the feeling it's all in appearances with him, not prepared to compromise on how he comes over to people when in his position he needs a tatty Ford Focus and the cheapest phone that wouldn't need insuring.


Sorry if I come over as being harsh but if he really has thought through another career change then he has to be prepared to make big sacrifices in the short term.

1 What kind of car does he have? He has a Fiat punto, 2008, purchased in 2013 for £4000 which he is still paying off on HP for another 32 months.


2 What kind of phone does he have? He has a Nokia Lumia 1020, 2 years old with a cracked screen which incidentally he dropped on the way to an interview for a FT job with british gas


3 What would he do if you weren't able to support him? If I couldnt support him for whatever reason he would move back home with his mother as she has a 2 bedroom flat. The same for me, I would have to move back home if i couldnt support myself.


4 Why does he need travel insurance, he can't afford to travel anywhere? - He doesnt need this, i agree as we are not planning on going anywhere.


5 Is the level of Breakdown Cover higher than he needs? - No, i dont think it is. If anything I think it is too limited - just checked Lloyds website and his level only includes Road start and AA accident management. He doesnt have home start so if his car wouldnt start he couldnt call them out to home. This may be something we will now cancel and buy separately for what he needs. This has been an eye opener ty.


6 Ditto phone insurance? - again he has this with his bank but there is a £50 excess for each claim. he hasnt bothered claiming from his insurance for the cracked screen as we didnt think the phone was worth £50 now.

lacoste1985_2

Zoology_Dragon wrote: »

I agree that this would not be sustainable and I think people have been very harsh. I'm sure there are some people who can work two full time jobs and not burn out after a month but most of us aren't like that.

I do think you need to reconsider a DMP though. I know you're saying that there is an issue because of him needing a credit card for petrol but I'm sure you could find a workaround, whether that is him swapping the delivery job for something else (it sounds very poorly paid to be honest) or perhaps you could get a credit card purely for his petrol? (That is paid off in full each month of course, I'm not suggesting more debt!). It *is* worth him doing his degree, well done to him for taking that first step, you just need to figure out a way to sort out those debts so that he can graduate with a completely clean slate looking forward to a much brighter future.

Yeah its not just the CC for petrol, its like without one if he needs expensive car repairs that lets just say his car savings didnt cover or if something broke in the house for example and I couldnt afford to replace it we would always turn to a CC to fund such thing until we could pay it back. I think what Im trying to say is I dont want to be the only one with a CC in the relationship as unexpected expenses shouldnt always have to fall on me. would they let OH factor in emergency savings into a DMP?

Grumpelstiltskin

OK So he paid £4000 for a 5 year old Fiat Punto?


I know very little about cars but that seems an awful lot of money.


Yes move the bank account to one where there are no charges, look on Top Cashback or Quidco for breakdown cover, check out all the other suppliers as well as AA I'm sure he could get better cover for less and cash back.

andyfromotley

Hi lacoste,

i'm sorry that you feel ripped to shreds. It certainly is not an attack on you, but lots of very experienced posters are astonished at your partners attitude. When so many of us are unified in our response you can either dismiss it as internet people who know nothing about us, attacking us. Or you could consider, hmmnnn all of those people, some of whom have spent years helping people on the road to debt freedom, all of them are saying that he's got this one wrong and we need to rethink it.

So i'll try and sum it up, your partner cannot afford to study in the way he wants. he needs to work and pay off his debts. A 6-8 year plan to hopefully get a job in a field he has never worked in doesnt sound like a solid plan. (oh and OU has a huge dropout rate too). I think there are much quicker easier and cheaper ways to follow that path. My friend who is a self employed techie learnt nearly everything he knows off you tube and internet forums, he says you can learn enough coding to make a living in 6 - 12 months.
But the crux came when you replied to my earlier post that he didnt fancy delaying his studies for a couple of years in order to pay off his debt. No i bet he didnt!! who fancies that boring old debt repayment?? That is where he comes across as entitled. If you read back your replies you are in full defensive mode, rejecting every single suggestion virtually. So your course is set, i hope it works well for for you both. (i really do)

As to your now long lost original question for debt advice contact Stepchange, National Debt line or Christians against poverty.