Partner earning less than 8k but has debts of 18k - please help.

lacoste1985_2

andyfromotley wrote: »

Hi Lacoste,

crikey you have had a bit of a rough time on this thread, but that is because we are struggling to find any empathy with your OH. I get that he is not lazy, he works a variety of jobs, hours etc. However he is a little relaxed about about this situation, He could easily fit in studying around a full time job, i am at uni at the mo on a full time course with other mature students, some of them are running a full time job alongside their full time uni course and looking after kids. He could easily do 2-3 per night/early morning study, i think thats what some of us are strugging with .

Another sticking point is if he cant manage this then his plan doesnt stack up, he has debts, they need paying off and he needss to work to do that. I would much prefer him to have worked a full time job AND his part time jobs for a year or two in order to pay his debts then go to uni perhaps full time. Life has to be planned and these plans are often shaped by our financial situation. I for example would very much like to travel the world watching sporting events, preferably in a camper van, however i havent earned enough to do that so its not happening. For me to just do it regardless would be a tad irresponsible and a little entitled.

On a final note and i may be well off the mark here, its interesting that they are his debts and yet its you that is posting here. Clearly he is kind of looking to you for financial support, in general this is ok because thats what happens in relationships nut there is always a line beyond which someone is just taking the mick out of their other half.

I'm not having a go at you in any way, but i do find your fellas attitude very exasperating!

No he is def not lazy far from it, he has 3 regular jobs plus a couple of casual ones on the side to bring in more money as and when work is available.

He didnt want to leave studying for degree any longer as we are both 31 in 2 months time. He will already be 37 by time he graduates. I understand he could of worked FT for a bit built up some savings, paid off the debt and THEN thought about doing OU but we did not think of this. I guess this is still an option but he has his heart set on doing it now not waiting another 2 years or whatever. He would still have to work part time even if he studied degree FT to bring money in....he couldnt just be a full time student and nothing more.

lacoste1985_2

foolofbeans wrote: »

That seems like the best idea if he is adamant he does not want to work full time. Maybe he doesn't want to study full-time either though
From what the OP has stated it seems her partner decided on studying at the last minute as closing dates for courses are around October and that was when he made the decision he needed to improve himself.
I'm sure you can apply to the OU for full-time study but not sure if the maintenance grant is the same as a regular university. Application to a regular university has probably closed now for a September start as college students apply by end January. Some people can get accepted on a course if they can show they are older and have an aptitude or experience but it appears OP's partner has neither of these.
I worry that the partner is setting himself up for disappointment as he has a dream of being an IT consultant but has no experience and no plans to push himself to get any.

Some of this is wrong, he applied to study for the degree in September and got accepted. He took on the full time job in October. So the degree idea was BEFORE the full time job not after. It was def not a get out of jail card!!!

lacoste1985_2

anna_m wrote: »

Sorry one other comment re car - how on EARTH is he spending £53 on maintenance? I'm assuming as he's on HP it's a new(ish) car?

His car is costing 1/3 of his income !

the car is 2008 and is on HP but it is not brand new. please refer to earlier post for reason why maintenance is so much.

lacoste1985_2

patman99 wrote: »

I was going to suggest advertising his services as a personnel trainer as he has done that in the past.

Most round my way charge £20 per person per session and work outside with street running and exercise in the local park so have no costs to come out of their fees.

20x 1 hour sessions would bring him in £400 a week (minus of course, all the required insurances he would need).
It would involve having to register as self-employed with HMRC and having to do annual Tax returns, but he would need to make sure to pay the full NICs as if he were employed. That way if he had a period with no work (say, in the winter) he could claim JSA.

As for the DMP question, the pros/cons are thus -

Pros
Debt repayments will be set at what he can afford based on his income and outgoings (he will have to do an SoA with whichever debt relief charity he chooses to use), but he can 'free up' money for building a savings pot to pay for fuel for the car by upping what he spends in certain categories.
If a creditor agrees to the DMP, all interest and late payment fees will stop.
DMPs are designed to allow the debtor to make inroads into the debt without having to sacrifice the whole of their income.

Cons-
When on DMP, not allowed to obtain any further lines of credit.
All creditors may not agree to their debts being included and may continue to charge interest and late payment fees.
All current credit cards frozen and no longer available to spend on.

thank u for this info on DMPs' very useful and what we were looking for when we came on here.

please refer to earlier comment about why he hasnt continued working as a personal trainer [he didnt get any clients in 2 months and was not bringing in any money at all!]

lacoste1985_2

cte1111 wrote: »

You've just rejected every suggestion and justified the mess you and your partner are in. What did you expect people to say? There's no magic wand available unfortunately.

Your partner needs to earn more and spend less. Doing a degree with no promise of a better career at the end of it, is not the only option. It might be your partner's preferred option, but his debts and high cost of living mean that he will have to compromise on this ideal. I can understand why he struggled with the sales job, but then to chuck in the sensible alternative cleaning job because it was too much hard work, I can't see why this is ok at all.

My Oh has a £7.50 sim only phone deal, it includes 100 minutes, 100 texts and some data with EE. Again this might not be your OH's ideal but it is all he can afford until he pays off his debts and gets a better paid job.

There are some good NHS dentists out there, have a look for one in your local area by clicking on this link, you never know you might be lucky and find one that suits you both and you could save £36 a month. There is also information on the link below about claiming for help with dental costs. We all want our teeth to last a lifetime BTW but most of us don't expect to be able to get other people to subsidise our lifestyle choice to have private dental care.
http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/dentists/Pages/find-an-NHS-dentist.aspx

can you state what you mean by "high cost of living" as i dont know what u mean.

He gave up the sales job and got his cleaning job back, he did not pack in the cleaning job as well as the sales job!!!!

the £7,50 a month sim only deal would not be enough texts, and OH would end up getting charged more for ones he uses so deal would be no point

[Deleted User]

lacoste1985 wrote: »

a 100+ a year for brakedown cover

Well, you are currently paying £119-40 a year, for your bank account add on.

lacoste1985_2

I should have added that in his spare time when he gets in from working, OH cooks all the meals, prepares our lunches for the following day, does all the cleaning and laundry, runs errands, goes shopping. So yes I suppose you could call him a house husband. I could not do without him and all the things he does for me. When I get in at 10.30pm after working a 12-13 hr day [8 hrs in day job - office and 4 hrs doing bar work] it is an absolute life saver to be able to come home, see the house all tidy, our lunch all packed in fridge, laundry taken out of washing machine, beds changed, fridge full of food etc etc.

cte1111

Ok you're clearly not open to any ideas that mean any change to the unsustainable way that you are currently living. I wish you both luck and hope everything works out for you but won't be wasting any more time trying to help.

debtdawg

A full time University course will have less contact time than you think - the full-time course I did (not IT) had 6-9 hours of lectures a week and the rest was study time. I was 'in' University 3 days per week. Your OH could look at studying full-time with the OU and therefore complete his course quicker? My DH took a 60 credit OU course before starting his F/T degree at Uni and spent no more than 2-3 hours per week studying (he scored high 90s for all assessments).
If your OH went to Uni F/T he would be entitled to loans and grants to help with living expenses plus would have the opportunity for a sandwich year, where he could get decent experience and help him with the opportunity for a job after graduating. He should easily be able to fit cleaning and takeaway delivery around the course, it's how most students survive Uni.

Debtslayer

lacoste1985 wrote: »

thank you for analysing the SOA.

- The SIM only deal is not the lowest he could get, but one that matches his current usage of texts, data etc. May i ask what you get for £7.50 a month and where from? - 250mins, 5000 texts, no data (use wifi so not needed anyway) from Tesco Mobile sim only one month deal.

- Car insurance - we already shop around at every renewal and use Topcashback when we do so.

- Car maintenance figure is so high as OH uses car for all of his jobs so this figure obviously includes MOT, one service a year e,g, £150 approx leaving around £450 spare for repairs. Tyres are not cheap nor are brake pads and discs as OH had to have 2 new tyres and 2 new brake discs in the last 2 months. This is why we save so much every month towards this incase he is caught short. If we did not he would be using his credit card to pay for repairs and so the cycle would begin again!! - What sort of car is it? Could he sell it and just buy a cheap run around and use some of this money to pay off debts?

- Dentist subscription - OH has had a lot of dental work done which was done by a very bad NHS dentist who messed his mouth up so I recommended the one he is currently with as I am with them. He has had no problems since joining them 3 years ago so we are not prepared to shift this as he needs his teeth to last him another 50 years!! - You have to be prepared to do anything to make repaying debt a priority. It doesn't have to be forever

- Presents - yes fully agree that this should go, in fact he has had to skip some family members last xmas as he didnt have funds.

- Bank acc fee - this includes a whole lot more than just break down cover, it includes mobile insurance, travel insurance, stolen bank card cover etc. We looked into purchasing breakdown cover separately before and the level of cover that we would need to buy to match the one provided by Lloyds was a lot more than £30. It was more along the line of £100+ (as bank account covers all sorts of things, relay, home start etc etc).- Mobile insurance: What sort of phone has he got? Is this really needed? Travel Insurance - well he won't be using this at the moment anyway. Read Martin Lewis' comments regarding fees on bank accounts; very rarely are the worth paying. Breakdown cover: Trust me; it can be got for £60 per year (if not less) and that includes full cover, relay, home start etc. I know I have had it!!. Look on comparison sites like money supermarket.

The limit on the Barclaycard is about £8200 [which is far too much]. I know what u mean about doing this as he is always sent stuff through the post advertising new offers. When we logged into his account last week they were only offering him one BT deal until August 2016, which would only give him another 3 months grace before we would be in the same situation again. Perhaps nearer June we could look again. TY for this suggestion though, it was one we had already thought of doing.

If you and your OH are focused and willing to make changes then he can become debt free. But if you keep making excuses it will never happen and you'll be in the same situation (if not worse) in another couple of years. But if you make the cutbacks now you can make things better for yourselves. It's not easy but it can be done; but you have to be prepared to put in the hard work and making the necessary cutbacks.