I have to sort myself out this year

Jacobs

I have to sort this out.

I have had a gambling problem for many many years and am in debt.

I have gambled all my wages for the month. My partner doesn't know (this time). All the direct debits will bounce tomorrow. The mortgage, council tax and bills will
All go unpaid.

I feel so lousy.

I've been online to set up a second DMP with stepchange. Paying just £33 per month. I've ruined everything.

I'm scared and I feel sick.

I didn't pay the mortgage last month either. I spoke to the bank at the beginning of the month and to give them credit they were wonderful. So helpful they calmed me down and we sorted out a repayment plan, but I can't call them again the very next month and say "hey, I didn't pay you last month and I said I was sorry but I'm not paying you this month either"

Thanks for reading.

CrowCrow

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

Go to a meeting. There is no magic trick, only you can stop yourself. IMO you are infinitely more likely to fail to overcome compulsive gambling if you hide it from your spouse.

Be open and rationally work out a plan. Is your partner the real deal? Married/married like relationship? If so strongly consider giving all your finances to them.

You should be scared, but it's only money, money woes are always surmountable.

Jacobs

Thank you for your words

byjimini

Hope all is well.

Sazzie23

Jacobs wrote: »

I have to sort this out.

I have had a gambling problem for many many years and am in debt.

I have gambled all my wages for the month. My partner doesn't know (this time). All the direct debits will bounce tomorrow. The mortgage, council tax and bills will
All go unpaid.

I feel so lousy.

I've been online to set up a second DMP with stepchange. Paying just £33 per month. I've ruined everything.

I'm scared and I feel sick.

I didn't pay the mortgage last month either. I spoke to the bank at the beginning of the month and to give them credit they were wonderful. So helpful they calmed me down and we sorted out a repayment plan, but I can't call them again the very next month and say "hey, I didn't pay you last month and I said I was sorry but I'm not paying you this month either"

Thanks for reading.

Hi Jacob,

Facing it is the first step, so you've done that, just need to follow through and get some help from GA. you are certainly not the first poster on here with gambling and debt issues.

Re the bank, you won't be the first person this happened to, try not to hide from it, they'll be more understanding if you can contact them, yes you'll be in arrears but it's sortable. Don't let the gambling beat you.

Jacobs

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement but I just can't bring myself to call the mortgage company and tell them I have no money for the for the second month running. They'll probably kick me out!
I think instead I'm going to send them a letter mid month when at least then it will only be another couple of weeks to pay day and hopefully it will buy me a few more days while the put a response to me.

letmefree

I know it isn't easy but better to tackle all of this head on.

First, obviously, stop gambling. If you can't, then put your finances in someone else's control.

Just don't bury your head in the sand. Deal with all your issues as soon as you can.

Deal with it now, stop gambling, and in a few months you will be in a better place.

Good luck, as you know it can now only get better.

Jacobs

Yeah thanks

tibawo

Just bobbed in to say I am thinking of you. I can imagine you have mixed emotions at the moment, guilty, angry, why the heck did I do this again, the feeling of uselessness. It is also easy for people outside to look in and judge you.

You have realised something is wrong and has to stop. This is one hurdle. The next is sorting it. I don't know much about how to control gambling but I assume it is like all money issues that you need to find out why you do it. It might be hard but do contact gamblers helplines, I am not saying attend a meeting yet, just talk to someone so you know you are not alone and not the only person to be in this situation.

From there you might find specialised knowledge of what steps to take next that can be tailored towards your situation. Post your thoughts and progress in your diary as it will help clear your mind. Some people might add not too helpful posts but others will either bob in or offer something more constructive.

I hope this helps to get you focused as you have already know you have a problem and can start to tackle it.

Muhren

I just wanted to say that I have been in your situation so know how bad you must be feeling right now. All is not lost and although you won't think it right now you can sort yourself out.

If I were you I would find out when and where the next GA meeting is and get yourself along. You will be around people who are in, or who have been in similar situations and they can give you support to help you stop gambling.

Also as much as you really don't want to I think you should tell your partner, they might be angry at you to start with but if they really love you they will help you through this.My dad almost had to beat it out of me but after I had told him it felt like a massive weight had been lifted. He is usually the sort of person to fly off the handle, although he was upset/angry/disappointed he was there for me when I really needed him as was my mum and for that I have to be eternally grateful. I sat my friends down as well and told them, not one of them told me what an idiot I was, they just wanted to try and help. If you tell people you need help you might just be surprised at their reaction.

I am now three years down the line and things are a whole lot better, if I can do this I know damn well you can as well. It will be tough to begin with, but over time things will get easier once you stop gambling, I promise you that much. Try and keep your chin up and if you want any help or advice I will try and help as best I can.

Jacobs

Thank you for your support. As a fellow CG, you must know that the feeling immediately after a binge is almost unbearable but that once you start thinking a little straighter, and things become a bit more manageable.
I'm in a place now where I know what I have to do and although it isn't going to be easy or pleasant, I have no other choice so am going to have to just grit my teeth and knuckle down. Just accepting that means that I no longer feel scared. Despite the fact that apparently should do, sorry about that, no doubt karma will get me in the end.
February isn't going to be a great month. But at least I picked the shortest one.