Help coming off Bereavement Benefit

Tuesdayschild

The last stage of student finance largely went into the deposit for the room in the house he will be living in from Sept onwards. It's not that he can afford to help me out, he has 0 in his account. It's not a choice, it's a necessity. Students get very little, once course materials are paid for he barely has any money to eat, he doesn't smoke, drink or go out, (and don't laugh, you don't know my autistic spectum son) and there has actually been times when he didn't eat, got ill and I didn't know about it until afterwards.

He is studying in England and we live in Northern Ireland and so transport includes a plane or a ferry.

I am working in a much loved family business. I have no intention of leaving - the business has to survive so I can take it over some day. However the business only has a small turnover of between £15 and£17k a year and this is not through lack of effort but because of the area we live in and lack of available work (even when willing to travel), unfair competition from unregulated and uninsured surveyors, and an encroachment on surveying jobs by other parts of the market such as estate agents and architects. However in the construction industry and land management sector things are looking up.

At some point I will become self employed and maybe that should be sooner rather than later.

I'm just an ordinary woman, not looking to cheat or have unfair advantage. I just want to get by. I just want to be able to keep my head above water. I see people who live this so called 'benefit lifestyle' and driving new cars, waving the latest phone around and having flashy spending habits. I have to wonder why I, despite working my backside off between family, study and work, am driving an old heap and I don't go out, don't seem to be able to strive. Even the house I live in is private rental and on the market, so I could be made homeless with 4 weeks notice. And my landlord doesn't want anyone with housing benefit anyway. This is a tiny bungalow with damp and a missing tile on the roof and a garden so steep you can't stand up in it. I'm on a list for social housing, but no points. I have been to my MLA about this there's nothing they can do. There is no housing stock available.

I worked out my finances today. After going to 30 hours, getting (according to benefits calc when I filled it all out again) £34 a week in WTC I'll be minus 117 a month just for my expenditure alone. I've already pared back. I've known this day would come for several years. I've not got any 'indulgences' left to pare back.

xylophone

You have said that you wish to stay close to your parents - is there any chance that you, your sons and they could form a joint household?

Tuesdayschild

Looking at my area, what I'm paying in rent for the house isn't much different from a 3 bed flat. I'm just not prepared to have the boys sleeping on the floor of the living room. If I can't provide a home for my family I might as well be dead too.

Does my student status, or the fact that I'm a higher level apprenticeship through my course, open any other benefits to me?

Would I be better going self employed now?

Seriously, I am breadline already. There is no cutting back. I don't want to put the breakdown on any forum. I didn't want to provide the level of detail I have. I want advice based on a basic set of circumstances. WPA will end, CTC will end, WTC will reduce. Income minimum wage on 30 hours. What can I do!

Darksparkle

Can you only get 10hrs in this new job? No way you can get more to take you to full time?

Tuesdayschild

regarding parents - very last resort, after sleeping in a cardboard box. They've lived their whole lives and they don't want to share their house with me. I do not want to lose my privacy. I've failed if I can't provide myself and my kids with a roof over our heads. I love my parents dearly and I'm increasingly responsible for them but I do not want to live with them.

I work, I'm not on the dole. I can't afford to live! That's not right.

Tuesdayschild

regarding more hours. I work - I study - I look after my family. I come home shattered and sleep. There's only 24 hours in the day. I'm doing a foundation degree.

Alice_Walker

Tuesdayschild wrote: »

Looking at my area, what I'm paying in rent for the house isn't much different from a 3 bed flat. I'm just not prepared to have the boys sleeping on the floor of the living room. If I can't provide a home for my family I might as well be dead too.

Does my student status, or the fact that I'm a higher level apprenticeship through my course, open any other benefits to me?

Would I be better going self employed now?

Seriously, I am breadline already. There is no cutting back. I don't want to put the breakdown on any forum. I didn't want to provide the level of detail I have. I want advice based on a basic set of circumstances. WPA will end, CTC will end, WTC will reduce. Income minimum wage on 30 hours. What can I do!

If you don't want to give detail then the basic advice is increase your income and decrease your outgoings. There are always cutbacks that can be made, and they're often found by a third party taking a non emotive view.

If your children expect you to keep bedrooms for them then they need to contribute. It is unrealistic to do this in your situation.

GwylimT

Tuesdayschild wrote: »

regarding more hours. I work - I study - I look after my family. I come home shattered and sleep. There's only 24 hours in the day. I'm doing a foundation degree.

I was a single parent working full time and attending university full time, so I imagine we have experienced lots of similar things.

To attend university meant less money, so I moved to a one bedroom flat, my son had the bedroom and I had a sofa bed in the living room. This saved a great deal of money over a year, cut heating and electric bills, it also cut my council tax by quite a bit as well.

I'm not sure why you're paying for your sons food when he should be using his student loan to contribute to groceries when he is home.

Whats really useful is posting a statement of affairs and things like a typical weekly food plan, a fresh set of eyes can be really useful.

Jamiesmum

You can't rely on benefits to up your level of living unfortunately. You just have to work more. The children are grown, they can sort themselves out. You can't be upset that you can't get WTC for taking on extra work. You should strive to not be claiming anything.

Get another part time job do a 40 hour week, you won't need to claim any benefits as you'll be earning more.

You say you work study and look after your family and come home shattered. That's a common life for most people. We're all tired. We all have work, family and commitments.

missbiggles1

Tuesdayschild wrote: »

The last stage of student finance largely went into the deposit for the room in the house he will be living in from Sept onwards. It's not that he can afford to help me out, he has 0 in his account. It's not a choice, it's a necessity. Students get very little, once course materials are paid for he barely has any money to eat, he doesn't smoke, drink or go out, (and don't laugh, you don't know my autistic spectum son) and there has actually been times when he didn't eat, got ill and I didn't know about it until afterwards.

He is studying in England and we live in Northern Ireland and so transport includes a plane or a ferry.

I am working in a much loved family business. I have no intention of leaving - the business has to survive so I can take it over some day. However the business only has a small turnover of between £15 and£17k a year and this is not through lack of effort but because of the area we live in and lack of available work (even when willing to travel), unfair competition from unregulated and uninsured surveyors, and an encroachment on surveying jobs by other parts of the market such as estate agents and architects. However in the construction industry and land management sector things are looking up.

At some point I will become self employed and maybe that should be sooner rather than later.

I'm just an ordinary woman, not looking to cheat or have unfair advantage. I just want to get by. I just want to be able to keep my head above water. I see people who live this so called 'benefit lifestyle' and driving new cars, waving the latest phone around and having flashy spending habits. I have to wonder why I, despite working my backside off between family, study and work, am driving an old heap and I don't go out, don't seem to be able to strive. Even the house I live in is private rental and on the market, so I could be made homeless with 4 weeks notice. And my landlord doesn't want anyone with housing benefit anyway. This is a tiny bungalow with damp and a missing tile on the roof and a garden so steep you can't stand up in it. I'm on a list for social housing, but no points. I have been to my MLA about this there's nothing they can do. There is no housing stock available.

I worked out my finances today. After going to 30 hours, getting (according to benefits calc when I filled it all out again) £34 a week in WTC I'll be minus 117 a month just for my expenditure alone. I've already pared back. I've known this day would come for several years. I've not got any 'indulgences' left to pare back.

Having lost my husband last year I do sympathise but you must stop making excuses for your son's lack of contributions.

As he's from a lone parent family, student funding is comparatively generous so no reason for him to be that short of money particularly as you say he has a part time job. He must be spending it somewhere if you say he doesn't go out, smoke or drink and can't afford food! Foot passenger ferry fares are no more than many students spend on rail travel home for the holidays and, if he's home in May he has at least 3 months in which he could (and should) be working to support himself.

If you don't crack down on this soon, you'll have both sons in the position of not contributing to the household and a situation that's even less tenable that the one you're in at present.

ETA

On rereading, I notice that you say you pay for his travel home in the holidays anyway, so you really can't include that in the reason why he's broke.