Hen Do Hell!

[Deleted User]

Hi,

Aegean wrote: »

Frugalmacdugal, you are a genius

awe shucks, thanks,

vixarooni

My friend invited me to hers which was going to cost about £250. I ended up declining it and saying that me and other friend would have a posh afternoon tea somewhere as a mini hen do instead. She was totally fine with it

Aegean

vixarooni wrote: »

My friend invited me to hers which was going to cost about £250. I ended up declining it and saying that me and other friend would have a posh afternoon tea somewhere as a mini hen do instead. She was totally fine with it

Great, I'm glad you've worked out something just as lovely (if not better) to do with your friend

sazpot

Just had a look at your estimated costs and had a few comments!

I have never been to a hen do where rounds are the done thing, it has always been that you buy for yourself and one for the bride to be during the evening.

Why are you expecting to purchase presents? I have never experienced presents being part of a hen do. Occasionally there have been party bags but these have been paid for and provided by the bridesmaids.

When it comes to fancy dress I am not a huge fan but have always been able to cobble something together for under £10.

Maybe I have been lucky with these things!

michelle09

Apologise and say that you've got another commitment for that day that you really can't get out of. You're really sorry to miss such an important day for her (even if you hate the idea!) so how about you treat her to dinner/drinks/bowling/whatever your standard thing is on a different day instead?


Much cheaper, something you will actually enjoy and you can spend a day with your friend at the same time.


(Alternatively you can be honest and say that it's not your thing, if she's a good friend then you shouldn't be hated for it. My SIL booked a holiday after she got the date for my hendo. I still talk to her).

catflap11

On a similar note, I was invited to the stereotypical stag do for my Brothers wedding, i just told them I'd rather spend the money on me and my wife and the stag do would be my idea of hell. Just be honest, if they don't like it then they are not worth knowing.

nimbo

I politely declined to go to my sister I. Laws Ben weekend. She'd booked a cottage in Scarborough for the weekend.

I was firm and honest. Stated I didn't want to offend by declining butnot good with big groups of people I don't know and would struggle.

She seemed fine about it.

Have you declined yet - and how did they take it????? (I could have added and I'm too skint to afford a holiday with my partner / your brother so spending that much on a weekend would be too much for my bank balance)....

Dizzy_Ditzy

I'm in the process of organising my best friends hen weekend. I know most of the people going, and £'s are an issue with most so we decided to split the weekend into three and people could choose to go to whichever event they wanted to, or could afford to do.

We're doing a spa day, a night out and a big meal out. Some are going to all three, some two and some one.

To my knowledge, it's worked out well and neither of us have heard any complaints yet.

Speak to your friend and see what she says. I'm sure she'd rather you were there for a part of it rather than none of it

paddyrg

You could pop along for one of the activities and get back home pronto - maybe go for the evening and catch the last train home? The best bit of a stag/hen isn't the activities or the drinking, it's the connection you make with other guests (most of whom you don't know). Often all ages are represented, too, and there will be other guests who don't know everyone.

Where I've been to a stag, I've enjoyed the wedding so much more, knowing more people, etc. If you can do at least a part of it, it'll be worth it - it's a big communal rite of passage ;-)

TBagpuss

I think you should be OK to decline, but it might be a nice gesture f you could go to a small part of it. Would it be practical for you to go to the tea party at the beginning? It would give you a chance to be a part of it, which is positive for the bride and gives you a chance to meet some of the other women, that part (before people start drinking) is likely to be the least loud and expensive part of the whole thing, and you only have to spend £25 or so.

Gifts - I admit I haven't been to a lot of hen parties but the only gifts I've seen are little, usually joky ones (mostly 'stocking filler' type things -maybe £5 tops)

Alterntively just say "sounds great - unfortunately I won't be able to make it, but have a fantastic time"