Elderly Dad

Chipsmum_2

Many thanks for all your posts. I will speak to my dad further. One brother I don't know where he lives other than Manchester at the minute. I sent him a message via f/b at Christmas and told him to contact our mum as she had been trying to get in touch with him and he wasn't replying as she was worried about him (our parents split in 1984). I got a message a week later telling me to mind my own business - but at least he did get in touch with her. He has a problem with me too! The other I do know where he lives and speak to occasionally. Over the years I have never discussed my brothers to my dad or the other way round and none of them ever asked about the other. I don't even know if they would know the exact address of where our dad stays. I will look into this a bit more, gather some information and speak to my dad.
Thanks

Mojisola

Chipsmum wrote: »

He has asked if I could find out about opening a joint account with him. He has approx. £1k in savings in his home which he wants me to put away in case anything happens. When the time comes, and it obviously will, it will be used towards funeral expenses. Is it possible to do this?

meer53 wrote: »

If i were the OP i would write to both brothers with this suggestion, asking if they have any objections, keeping a copy of the letters and proof of postage.

The OP's Dad has asked about this, it's not being forced on him, if the brothers object, then they have the chance to discuss it with their Dad.

I wouldn't contact the brothers because they aren't part of their father's life - he is a competent adult and doesn't need his children's permission to change his bank account.

It would be different if they were involved in his life.

Chipsmum_2

I am very reluctant to tell them anything about our dad.


The only account he has is the post office where his pension goes into. He had no other accounts. What he wants is to open a savings one with my name alongside his so if anything happens to him I can access it but in the meantime so I can put some of his pension in it for him along with the money he has been saving at home approx. £1k. Any money in the account I would be using towards funeral expenses as and when that happens down the line.


I have been checking out sites via the Scottish Government/CAB as we stay in Scotland.

WillowCat

I'd recommend you get the paperwork done for the power of attorney (health and welfare as well as finance) by using the gov site.

When I did it a year ago it was very straightforward - it asks questions, you answer then it spits out a PDF of the form filled in for you.

Get it signed, witnessed, and someone who knows your dad also needs to sign to confirm he has capacity now.

You don't need to actually register it (and hence pay the fee) until it is needed if you want to save the cost at the moment.

The savings account seems a good idea, but even better would be a joint account as his main account if he is amenable. Would be even easier for you to deal with his affairs later.

Chipsmum_2

Thank you.


I nipped into PO as he wanted it there and also the RBS at lunchtime. I think the RBS would be the easiest to set up a joint a/c and I have banked there for many years. Will see if he is agreeable the only problem is he obviously needs to be there so travelling to my branch (25miles from where he stays) may be a problem but can do it in his town.


This whole old age/affairs in order is quite daunting. Though I'm only in my forties I think before long I should get my own affairs sorted so if anything happened to me then my son (only 15 at the minute) doesn't need to worry about things.

euronorris

It is well worth having LPA's and a Will in place at anytime during adulthood.


Any of us can be incapacitated by a stroke, or an accident, and that is when the LPA's can come into force. It saves a lot of trouble for your loved ones at what will already be a very stressful and upsetting time for them.


Likewise with Will's, we are susceptible to death at any age for a myriad of reasons. If you specific wishes about what should happen with your estate, then a will is essential. Again, it can save a lot of heartache and upset for your loved ones at an already distressing time for them.

Chipsmum_2

After I typed my last post I was thinking about it and I do have a will. When I was married we were to leave everything to each other but when we split up, when my son was a year old, one of the first things I did was change my will and left everything to my son - so that's sorted. I can only assume my ex changed his will as he remarried and has other kids.


I will definitely look into a POA for myself and for my dad.

Ms_Chocaholic

Chipsmum wrote: »

After I typed my last post I was thinking about it and I do have a will. When I was married we were to leave everything to each other but when we split up, when my son was a year old, one of the first things I did was change my will and left everything to my son - so that's sorted. I can only assume my ex changed his will as he remarried and has other kids.


I will definitely look into a POA for myself and for my dad.

Your ex's previous will will have become void when they remarried.

You mention earlier in the thread that, when your dad dies you would settle any debts he had out of your own pocket. If your dad has no other money other than the money to cover his funeral costs, then other outstanding debts do not need to be paid and you would just tell debtors that his estate was insolvent.

meer53

Mojisola wrote: »

I wouldn't contact the brothers because they aren't part of their father's life - he is a competent adult and doesn't need his children's permission to change his bank account.

It would be different if they were involved in his life.

Of course they're part of his life, they're his children. I bet they miraculously appear when he passes away.

Savvy_Sue

the problem with doing PoA is that the form requires that other family members are told that you're doing it (if I remember right). This gives protection so that eg one of the absent brothers can't turn up and coerce Dad into doing this without the OP knowing.

However the problem with NOT doing PoA and just opening a joint account is that the money is then regarded as joint. That's fine when everything's going along normally, but if the OP needs to claim means-tested benefits then half Dad's money will be regarded as hers.

the halfway solution is pollypenny's: you can usually arrange for a second signatory on an account. The money remains under Dad's ownership and control, but the OP can adminster things. We did this for a friend who was going to be abroad for a period, so that if anything went wrong with his house we could pay for repairs etc. (This was back in the dark ages before internet banking!)

It wouldn't surprise me if you had some difficulty getting a second signatory added, because it won't be something most counter staff have come across, but that's probably where I'd start!