How much should i charge my partner rent?

Mumsy3

My partner earns extra income by doing jobs for friends in his spare time. I wouldn't dream of asking him for a share of that money. So he will always have more spending money than me.

Woodsy

Hi, I had a similar situation with an ex where I moved into her own fully furnished flat with just my furniture although I didn't own anywhere else.
I paid half bills only and nothing towards the mortgage because if anything bad happened she didn't want to lose the house. I agreed to walk away with nothing if that happened regardless of what I was entitled to by law.
To cut a long story short, she is now my ex (not due to money arguments I might add!!) but there was always a bone of contention over how much I paid or what I contributed to. e.g. a new boiler since I had no financial security in the house as well as being on a lower salary than her.
I don't think there is one solution for all, but the advice I would give is to sit down together and try and come to some sort of financial agreement for the types of things around the house which will need money spent on them with a view to reviewing it down the line.

justme111

Mumsy3 wrote: »

Homeownertobe that really isn't the case. I would like our arrangement to be fair otherwise I think it could build resentment especially if he carries on spending to go on boys holidays and for his own 'toys' while I try to be sensible with my spending and also like to buy good quality items that we will be sharing. If we sort a 'fair' amount for him to pay then we can both agree to spend our own money on whatever we choose.

You already resent him doing and buying stuff even though he is presumably solvent and not subsidised by you at present. You seem to think spending money on linen is better than on toys. Whatever undercurrent is happening in your relationship beware of integrating further. You said he drips hints about moving in with you - would you like him to ? It would make sense to move together but only if you want to and if you rub along well enough for it and honest with each other enough to discuss sensitive topics like money.

Pixie5740

Mumsy3 wrote: »

My partner earns extra income by doing jobs for friends in his spare time. I wouldn't dream of asking him for a share of that money. So he will always have more spending money than me.

The majority of couples have one who earns more than the other.

Money can make or break a relationship. You need to be on the same page. Just because you think spending money on nest building is better than spending money on boys holidays doesn't mean you are right or that he is right. You need to compromise and have common goals.

Mountain biking is my OH's thing and he likes to joke that his car triples in value when his bike is on the roof rack. Mountain biking makes him happy so I don't begrudge him spending money on his hobby. Then again he wouldn't go and spend £2k on a new mountain bike without discussing it with me.

Mojisola

Mumsy3 wrote: »

He drops hints that he'd love to move in with me. And says he hopes that one day he will. He acknowledges that my house would be more appropriate for us to share than his.

So ask him how he sees it working - start the discussion about how the two of you will manage the finances. Until you've talked about it, you don't know where he stands.

FBaby

The only thing that is fair is what you both agree on, so since it is not yet happened and only at the stage of consideration, why not talk it all through, how you feel about your ownership about your property, how you feel about individual disposable income, sharing costs etc...

The problem is that many people feel totally comfortable sharing their body with someone, but when it comes to sharing their views on money, it feels totally taboo. There is no reason for it to be, you just need to be clear where you both stand before you move in. Either you will share your views from the start, or you'll agree to compromise, or you won't get anywhere and both will be comfortable with the decision that moving in together would be a big mistake.

skattykatty

Thanks for clarifying OP, so it's not a 'done deal' and you just are exploring a possible scenario. Perhaps it's time to sit down and ask him how he sees cohabitation working for the both of you, as individuals and as a couple. It's good that you are aware of any areas of potential resentment, do you think you are able to discuss this openly with him? If you are able to sit an discuss it calmly and sensible now, then it does bode well.

Counting_Pennies_2

Homeownertobe wrote: »

So will you by splitting your bills by 50%.

If you're so intent on him not 'gaining financially' then it's simple - rent out your house and you can both rent a house together that neither of you own.

I would suggest you doing as above. You both rent out your properties and rent one together

Mumsy3

Thank you for all your interesting responses. I do appreciate the different views. I will now bring up the subject of finances before we make any decisions about moving in together so that there are no surprises. I am sure we will end up being quite happy living together. And i won't let him contribute anything towards the mortgage!

Thanks again x

Kynthia

I think it's sensible to consider this and don't think it sounds selfish at all. Gaining a beneficial interest is not automatic and the person would have to take you to court and win to gain them. Plus any contribution they make is not considered taxable income as with a lodger.

Most people wouldn't consider it fair to have one person paying no rent or mortgage (due to rental income covering theirs) living with their partner who is paying for the roof over both of their heads. If the one moving in didn't already own a property then it also wouldn't be fair for them to pay half of their partner's mortgage for years and gain no share of the equity built. There's so many shades of grey between though.

If you aren't ready to marry or merge your assets/finances, or in your case have a reason not to, then you need to agree something you are both happy with and feel is fair. Both making an informed decision, and perhaps signing a simple cohabitation agreement, will avoid most problems.

I was in a similar situation where we both owned property. We looked at how much better off the one moving could be (likely rental income less voids, fees, tax and repairs, no CT and utilities, etc) against any likely increases for the other (loss of CT discount and increased utilities) and then roughly split the differences so we were both the same amount better off. However there isn't one right way and both being happy is all that matters.