Recently separated: any advice!

Guest101

swingaloo wrote: »

Its ludicrous to suggest she is defrauding the state. This is just a case of an ex continuing to pay towards a mortgage so his children can stay in the family home and that is to be commended.

My sisters husband has been paying ALL the mortgage on the family home since they divorced. It was all agreed and drawn up by the solicitor and there is no way on this earth that it is income for her. It is an investment for him when they sell as he will get back what he has paid whilst at the moment she is not having to pay rent anywhere so can save.

The husband can pay whatever he sees fit to support his children as long as it the minimum the CSA would say. It does not matter in what form he pays as long as they are both in agreement. If he said he was paying no maintenance to the mother but would instead pay for private schooling for the children that would be acceptable as long as both parties agreed to it. Would you say it was additional income for the mother in that scenario?

The op does not need scaremongering at a time like this.

As long as it's clear on her claims, that's fine.

In your example, your sister could not claim housing benefit / mortgage relief as her ex was paying it.

I'm not saying it's not to be commended, I'm saying declare it!

If it's not 'income' it won't make any difference will it?

swingaloo

But you told the OP it would affect her tax credits as it was income. It is not income in any way shape or form and it does not need to be declared as such. Obviously my sister does not claim housing benefit or mortgage relief but she does get tax credits and the mortgage being paid by her ex has no impact on those.
And yes, they are aware.

Guest101

swingaloo wrote: »

But you told the OP it would affect her tax credits as it was income. It is not income in any way shape or form and it does not need to be declared as such. Obviously my sister does not claim housing benefit or mortgage relief but she does get tax credits and the mortgage being paid by her ex has no impact on those.
And yes, they are aware.

It might well affect it... It should be declared as it is agreed.

X amount child maintenance
Y amount mortgage
Z amount upkeep

Let the tax man decide. In my opinion that is income.

duchy

IF the house (and mortgage) was solely in the OP's name there might be a case for claiming the husband''s mortgage payment was income - however if the home is in joint names to claim paying a mortgage that is in his name (as well as his wife's) is her income is completely illogical.

OP Whilst you are in transition this may work well - however in the longer term it is likely your husband will at some point form a new relationship and things can change dramatically and become a lot less amicable as legally he only has to pay child support.
It may be worth discussing with him now and agreeing a time frame for financial seperation , when and if the home should be sold ...or if you would go back to work fulltime and buy him out etc

Once either of you form new serious relationships things will change.

duchy

Guest101 wrote: »

- he's still paying 1/3 mortgage and 1/3 maintenance until we decide what to do with it. It's rare for the mortgage payment to be made out of two sources, he's also paying 1/3 upkeep on the property. It read as he is paying it to her.


No it's not child maintenance, it's income. It's fraudulent to society and should not be condoned.


On top of which it leaves her open to blackmail from the ex husband should things go wrong and he stitches her up for undeclared income.


I didn't say child maintenance was income.


I'm being perfectly clear with the OP, only you are here confusing the issue. Do you really think that HMRC and DWP wont look at this and go, hmm they've separated, he's paying well over the CMS calculation etc. etc. - but it's ok to defraud the state.

He isn't paying HER mortgage he is paying part of a joint mortgage on a property they BOTH own

Child support (rightly or wrongly) does not affect tax credits if it paid at a rate above the legal minimum

Please stop scaremongering and making false accusations about fraud.

As for the implications that he might blackmail her........The OP has made it clear that both parents are working co-cooperatively to ensure as little disruption to the children as possible......... Blackmail is a massive leap of fantasy on your part based on nothing the OP has posted. Get real !!!

girlsmum

Guest101 wrote: »

- he's still paying 1/3 mortgage and 1/3 maintenance until we decide what to do with it. It's rare for the mortgage payment to be made out of two sources, he's also paying 1/3 upkeep on the property. It read as he is paying it to her.


No it's not child maintenance, it's income. It's fraudulent to society and should not be condoned. Its not income he is replaying the mortgage which is half his debt. it is not fraud


On top of which it leaves her open to blackmail from the ex husband should things go wrong and he stitches her up for undeclared income.
Are you being serious!!!


I didn't say child maintenance was income.


I'm being perfectly clear with the OP, only you are here confusing the issue. Do you really think that HMRC and DWP wont look at this and go, hmm they've separated, he's paying well over the CMS calculation etc. etc. - but it's ok to defraud the state.

You are not being perfectly clear, and me suggesting she phones HMRC to ask for clarity is confusing how?
I am not the only one who thinks you might be wrong

sallybunny

Thanks for all the replies on this one. I've phoned HMRC and I DO NOT need to declare this as income. It is a father continuing to support his children and also continuing HIS investment in property which HE will eventually profit from. This is not a second property, it is my home and as such I am making no profit from having someone else investing in it.

Thank you all for your support - I did not have the energy to argue further with Guest101 and their frankly scary approach to this issue. There seem to be other issues behind the responses to me and it has not been a pleasant exchange. I turned to this forum as in the past I have had sensible, caring and reasoned responses.

Thank you to everyone else, I wasn't expecting it to turn into an argument.

TBagpuss

Sally, if you are not getting divorced straight away then it would be sensible for you to consider a deed of separation o set out the finacial arrangments and also to make clear which parts are agreed upon as temporary and which as permanent. An agreement however has very little weight in court unless it complies with certian criteris including a requirement that you have each taken separate and independent advice and that there has been full financial disclosure.

One thing which you need to be thinking about is whether you can realistically afford to stay in the house - unless your husband is a very high earner it is unlikely that it will be reasonable for him to continue to pay towards the mortgage in the long term. Have you looked at what his maintenace liability would be under the CMO (formerly CSA) and compared it with the total amount he is paying now?

Obviously you and he are free to agree whaever you wish, and there is nothin to stop you agreeing that he will pay more than a court would order, but I would suggest that, if that is the case, you consider looking at ways in wich his support can gradually reduce so that you can become more independent. (And order for him to pay spousal maintrnace / contribution towards a mortgage for (say) 2 years until the youngest child starts school would be much less unusual than an open-ended arrangments, and would give you 2 years in which to plan for the change, for example)

It is worth being aware that some mortgag elenders will take into account maintenance when considering mortgage capacity but normally only where this is paid under the terms of a formal Court Order.

I would recommend that you invest in some initial advice from a Family Law soclitor, so that you can make sure that you are not mising anything and can get some specifc advice relating to your personal circumstnaces about what your optins are, both short and longer term.

The fact that you and your ex are talking is very good, and of course your children will benefit hugely from the fact that you are able to remain civil and to sort out contact in a friendly way. You both deserve a big pat on the back for that!

girlsmum

sallybunny wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies on this one. I've phoned HMRC and I DO NOT need to declare this as income. It is a father continuing to support his children and also continuing HIS investment in property which HE will eventually profit from. This is not a second property, it is my home and as such I am making no profit from having someone else investing in it.

Thank you all for your support - I did not have the energy to argue further with Guest101 and their frankly scary approach to this issue. There seem to be other issues behind the responses to me and it has not been a pleasant exchange. I turned to this forum as in the past I have had sensible, caring and reasoned responses.

Thank you to everyone else, I wasn't expecting it to turn into an argument.

Its not an argument just a heated discussion,
i thought that Guest101 was a bit harsh and scary mongering. I hope i have not upset you in anyway, i know it is a difficult time for you and I have been through it, so i understand also a friend of mine has just split with her husband so i am trying to support her now too, take one day at a time x

DUTR

girlsmum wrote: »

Its not an argument just a heated discussion,
i thought that Guest101 was a bit harsh and scary mongering. I hope i have not upset you in anyway, i know it is a difficult time for you and I have been through it, so i understand also a friend of mine has just split with her husband so i am trying to support her now too, take one day at a time x

Guest101 is just being realistic about the situation and possible hurdles.
Yes it's all amicable at present, but rest assured Daddy in his rented place isn't going to want to sleep on his own for the rest of his life, and if Mummy finds a new man that is staying over in the home for several nights a week partially sponsored by a n other, then things won't remain amicable for too long after that.