Advice please worried mum

booeymont

Hi
I signed up today in hope that someone on here may be able to offer advice.
I am a mother of two, who recently has gone from becoming a lone parent to moving in with a partner. My children are 3 years and 6 months. I work full time bringing home £1800 after tax a month. My debts cost me £700 a month. My rent, bills and commute costs are £850 a month. My childcare bill is £350 a month but will go up soon when my baby starts going to the childminder. Then I have food to pay for which at Lidl's is only around £150 a month for me and my family.

If you're still reading then thank you! As you will see I am spending more than I am making..... I was getting tax credits to cover this, now I have a partner that's moved in I lose that. My partner cannot contribute to any of my outgoings even though he earns a £31000 wage a year In all honesty; I don't know why, he pays his half of our rent and bills but tells me he cannot afford to pay more than me even tho he earns more. He has debts too so I am assuming this is why. I am now in a position where I think I need to opt for an IVA or Bankruptcy.... A really hard thing to get my head around, as I am sure is the case with many of you, I started with one small loan of when I got my first job, for a laptop, and a car. Over the years I've had a child, became single, got into more and more debt trying to keep a home over our heads and stupidly to do this I got into more and more debt and it's now £34000 in total, I don't have assets, I rent, I have my mums old car worth around £600....

Any advice welcome
Worrying constantly

sourcrates

Hi,


Welcome to MSE.


First thing to do is post an SOA (statement of affairs).


link here : http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php


People can then see where your money is going, and offer advice on where to make savings.


Could be Bankruptcy may be an option, as you have no assets, but lets see the full picture first.

debbie_debt

Hi,

Yes, certainly do a SOA which will allow everyone to comment more specifically on your situation and where you could possible make changes. Otherwise, I certainly think you need to have a very frank discussion with your OH - you're now a family and he can't just contribute as he sees fit. I know this idea isn't for everyone, but when I moved in with my OH, we decided to just put all money into the pot, which became 'our' income, paid the bills from there and so we both knew what was left and how it could be spent. It has it's pitfalls (one of you being more frugal than the other, for example) but it seems fair. Certainly more fair than him picking and choosing which bills he thinks he should have to contribute to!

Good luck and keep coming back. Everyone on here can be really supportive.

Debbie

MuddyFunster

As above, in regards to your partner - I note you've covered this a bit so are probably looking at some feedback.


Your incomes aren't wildly different, his take-home is around £2000 and yours £1800, he's paying half the rent and bills so it's 'fair' - but every household / family is different and you're not in that much different a position to my Wife when we first moved in together 6 years ago, as our relationship has grown and changed we do things differently now than we did back then, but have stopped short of a joint account - partly because I have some historical bad credit history and partly because of her spending habits ha ha.


The first 'step' we took, about a year after we lived together was to equalise our income - in your case it would mean your partner effectively giving you £100 a month, meaning your income would be £1900 each - but that's really not going to fix your problem.


I'm sure after you've lived together for a while he may feel more 'part of the family' and may offer to consider all expenses and income as 'family' which may be enough to solve your over-spend, but it's still going to be tight.


Based on nothing but the information in your post I think you certainly need to do something to fix things, you're going to be increasing your debt at a rate of £250 a month now, and there's zero contingency, none at all - what happens when the kids needs clothes, the car needs and MOT or tyres, not to mention any sort of lifestyle.


You might be able to make savings, have you looked at salary sacrifice for childcare? that could save you £75 a month?


But really I don't think you're going to be able to shave a little here and there and makes the sums work. I think it's either a case of bankruptcy / IVA or you have to tell your partner he can't move in and you use tax credits to cover the shortfall.


In regards to Bankruptcy / IVA, obviously there is going to be a huge detrimental effect on your creditworthiness - but given that however good your history is, you're not going to pass any sort of income / expenditure calculation now you're effectively uncreditworthy now.

foolofbeans

This isn't a criticism but can you not claim child maintenance from the childrens father?
This could go some way to assisting although probably won't help with it all. An absent parent should still contribute to the welfare of their children.