Overbearing worl colleague

sangie595

Have you considered the possibility that you are entirely misreading the situation? It doesn't seem that you are a very confident person under any circumstances, and maybe she isn't anywhere near as confident as you think. Some people who are nervous or lack confidence over-compensate. Two people with a lack of confidence but handling it in opposing ways would naturally tend to misunderstand the other person.

If she is trying to "butt into conversations", have you considered that maybe she feels like the outsider and the new girl and is trying too hard to fit in? If you have complementary skills, can you find parts of your projects where hers will contribute more than your own, and include her rather than trying to keep her away? And maybe she is seeing you as a longer established employee she can learn from - rather than spying on you perhaps she is trying to emulate you?

Guest101

melysion wrote: »

Replies not necessary now thanks. The poster above has made me feel very unwelcome and I won't be back.

Wow, makes me wonder if it's you being over-sensitive, rather than your co-worker doing anything wrong...

tomtontom

melysion wrote: »

Replies not necessary now thanks. The poster above has made me feel very unwelcome and I won't be back.

I wasn't hunting melysion, I remembered that you'd posted previously about it so thought reading through your previous thread might help. Hopefully you've slept on it and will come back today

Starlet

melysion wrote: »

One of my coworkers is causing me immense about of stress and I don't know what I would do about it, if anything.

She is slightly junior to me and hasn't been there long, but she is one of those classic know-it-alls who has to butt into every conversation, tries to take over other people's projects and actually spies on me to see exactly what I'm doing and when.

She also thinks most people are stupid compares to her and that she is the only person who does things properly.

She IS good, I'll give her that. But she isn't a better worker than me - we have different strengths for sure but my work performance is not inferior to hers (my boss is happy with my work).

She talks down to me and tries to muscle into my projects all the time and I'm beginning to feel like Im entering a battlefield every day, rather than work.

I happen to like her as a person - just wish she treated me as an equal and it's doing a number on my self esteem. I hafe spoken to her about taking over my projects and she has backed off - but only a little. And she has no reason to look at my workload and read though things that I'm currently working on.

Any thoughts in how to handle this much appreciated. Should I speak to my (new) boss for example? I just want it to end so that I can enjoy my work again.

What sector do you work in? Perhaps if you give a little idea about the type of role you do, it would help me to understand your situation a little better. In each sector, there are different ways of handling things.

Reggie_Rebel

Based on the op and the over reaction I'd say you need to grow a pair.

getmore4less

melysion wrote: »

Yes. As I have already said I have talked to her but it's had little effect and I don't think we can blame it on her being the newbie anymore.

I don't know why people see the need to hunt though people's old posts when answering something.

It doesn't matter. I'll find a solution for myself. I was just asking for advice.

Often the reason is the situation is the same as last time and all that happens is the same stuff get gone over again because the poster ignored it last time, it just wastes everybodies time if people don't act on the advice they get given.

Have your tried everything that was suggested last time?


clearly the peson is not busy enough, give them some of your rubish work to do when they start poking around.

melysion

Yes I did follow the advice and no it didn't help. Anyway. I think I may have found a solution now (here's hoping). Thanks for the replies.

daytona0

melysion wrote: »

Yes I did follow the advice and no it didn't help. Anyway. I think I may have found a solution now (here's hoping). Thanks for the replies.

I mean this in the nicest possible way but I hope you aren't making a similar post 3 months down the line